The Mom Weekly

Category: Weekly Newsletter

  • Your Parents are Cooler Than You Are

    The Mom Weekly Volume 28: February 6, 2024

    How’s that for a headline? 

    I’m not really sure how “true” that is, but I’m writing this in advance of the Super Bowl. The reason is “just in case” Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce get engaged on Super Bowl Sunday. No, I’m not making any bets. I just keep hearing it talked about.

    The cool factor? (And not this cool factor) Let the record reflect that Dad and I were way ahead of the times on this “getting engaged on Super Bowl Sunday” bandwagon. This year is 31 years since we got engaged on Super Bowl Sunday.

    Back in 1993, the Super Bowl was during January (January 31). Even though the date always changes, it is when we celebrate. It’s been a joyful thing to remember every year.

    Of course, we weren’t engaged because it was Super Bowl Sunday! It just happened to be that Sunday.

    Fun Facts About Super Bowl XXVII

    Here are some fun facts about that Super Bowl. I remembered literally zero of these, which will shock no one:

    *It was Super Bowl XXVII. Honest question: why does the Super Bowl insist on Roman numerals for numbering the games?

    *the game featured the Buffalo Bills and the Dallas Cowboys, and the Cowboys won 52-17. I genuinely forgot the teams and the statistics the minute I wrote that sentence. That is mostly because I cannot summon even a “pretend: interest in football. But admit it: it’s the least important thing about the Super Bowl, right?

    *the coin toss was by O.J. Simpson. O. J. Simpson! How wild is that?

    A little more than a year later, in June 1994, we were all glued to the television during the low speed chase to bring him into custody after being charged with the murder of his wife and her friend. My memory of that summer is for another Weekly. I wish I had been keeping a journal back then (blogs did not exist in 1994, obviously), because I would dearly love to remember my thoughts in real time from that whole summer. 

    *Super Bowl XXVII was the first year the “halftime show” became a thing. Michael Jackson was the musical guest.

    *Garth Brooks sang the national anthem, but only after nearly walking out, if Wikipedia is to be believed.

    Neither Dad nor I would change a thing about the day we got engaged, or how we got engaged (after Mass, near the church we got married later that year), and anything else about that day and evening (with sisters!). It’s a good memory, and if Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce get engaged on Super Bowl Sunday, I, for one (and probably a million others), will congratulate them. It’s a good day to start a new chapter of your lives.

    Remember how much I love you,

    Mom

    Interesting/Notable:

    Tracy Chapman and Luke Combs singing “Fast Car” at the Grammys

    I didn’t watch the Grammys this past weekend, as my PBS shows were on (Miss Scarlet and The Duke, and All Creatures Great and Small). Even if they hadn’t been, watching awards shows is not really my thing. I prefer catching up on the “big moments” worth watching in news coverage. 

    I heard about this and tried to track it down. It seemed nigh impossible to find a YouTube version, but this NPR story has the video embedded in it (Shared by Aunt Susan, thank you!). Check it out—it’s a stunning performance. 

    I’ve listened to both of their versions of “Fast Car” on Spotify. I could not find a “live in concert” of Tracy Chapman singing it, but I did find a nice live one of Luke Combs singing it in concert. He has said in an interview, “It was my favorite song before I knew what a favorite song was.” (and he was born two years after the song was released!)

    But there’s something even better—both endearing and healing— about the Grammys duet. “Fast Car” was one of my (and pretty much everyone else’s) favorite songs in the late 1980s. What a great trip down memory lane!

    Action Item: Try the 30-second power test

    After reading this article in the NYTimes about the “power test,” of course I wanted to find out how well I could do on it. Slight brag: I was able to complete well above the average for my age—yay me!). And I found this test that is apparently used in a lot of studies about aging. It’s part of the Senior Fitness Test, with a group of measures to see how agile and mobile older people are.

    At first I thought, I should try to increase my score on the power test, but after reading all of the measures, I realize I have other things to work on.

    I can see, for instance, that my score on the “back scratch test” would be way below average. And one side is more flexible than the other.

    Let me know if you do the power test, and what score you got. Don’t worry if it’s low—it’s a baseline, and you can improve! That’s what I plan to do, especially on the measures that I am “low” in.

    What Are You Doing this Weekend?

    It’s Super Bowl Sunday this weekend, in case you didn’t know! Ha. Maybe consider getting or making some fun snacks. Priorities!

    I’m sure we will watch bits and pieces of the Super Bowl, but the PBS shows are on, so that will take precedence.

  • Expect to be Scammed

    Expect to be Scammed

    (Mom’s Occasional Money Advice)

    The Mom Weekly Volume 27: January 30, 2024

    Notes:

    Several months ago, I shared that I might write a separate, occasional newsletter only for financial issues and money advice. But I realize it makes more sense to incorporate those here.

    Some of these will be super-practical. Some, such as this week’s, will be more “philosophical,” about general concepts related to money.

    Eventually, my goal will be to compile these into a long document or short (or long!) book. I’m not really sure how these will come together, but the writing will help get the thoughts out there, and all of it can be organized later. Your feedback is welcome and helpful. As always, you can reply to any email to give me your thoughts.

    Let’s go!

    Expect to be Scammed

    A number of things led to the title of today’s newsletter. As most of you know, It is different than my typical money advice, which tends towards an optimistic view of money.

    So why the downer of “Expect to be Scammed”?

    First: In recent months, I have learned of at least three older people (not family members, but people I know personally) who have been scammed out of hundreds of thousands of dollars in hard-earned money and retirement savings.

    It has shocked and saddened me so much, as well as reaffirmed my belief that there is a bad place in purgatory (or worse!) for people who take advantage of others, especially those who may be vulnerable due to age or ignorance.

    Second: this podcast episode from Rule Breaker Investing. Robert Brokamp talked to host David Gardner about people being scammed in various evil ways. One of Brokamp’s top takeaways: look out for the older and more vulnerable people in your life, especially when it comes to money.

    As they age, people lose acumen when it comes to financial things, in the same way that they inevitably lose strength.

    Don’t worry, kids—I am very sharp and intend to stay that way for many decades. I’m not planning or expecting decline anytime soon. But I also think that involving people around me in money decisions we are making is a good general practice going forward.

    That way, in 30 years or so, when I start mentioning how I’m transferring money every month to pay for the taxes on my Icelandic Sweepstakes winnings, you’ll know it’s time to gently take over…..

    Getting the conversation started

    I want there to be an ease among people—families and friends—in talking about money.

    That includes how we are managing and spending our money. I think the more information we all have about each other, the harder it would be for someone to scam any one of us.

    I would go as far as to say that this is a keystone in one’s financial plan. If I didn’t have immediate family that I trusted to share this information with, I would still try to find several people to keep posted on things. I would seek out several close friends or distant family members—definitely more than one person—that I could share the basics of my information with. It could be a “board of directors” for each other; a group of people that looked out for each other, and helped to talk through some of our issues.

    Discussing all of this reminds me of a 2010 story from our local paper. It’s about a person from our old parish who almost fell for the then novel “grandparent scam.”

    The family figures the scammers saw Krumholz as a perfect victim perhaps based solely on information gleaned from his wife, Betty’s, obituary published after her death last November. He was likely to be emotionally fragile after losing his wife of 52 years. He potentially was in possession of a life insurance settlement and would then have money available to help a grandchild in distress. His children were grown and lived away from him. He had just one grandson.

    A perfect victim, and they almost had him.

    “If it helps one person not to have to go through this, then I’ve done the right thing telling this story,” said Krumholz, who is, in fact, emotionally fragile and tears up quickly when talking about Betty Krumholz and the women at Wal-Mart who helped out a stranger. “Those girls at Wal-Mart were amazing, very kind and caring. If it wouldn’t have been for them, I would have sent the money.”

    Michele Ewalt said her father’s story should be ample warning to others.

    “I would have thought there was no way anybody would get my dad to do that. He’s pretty savvy and pretty bull-headed,” Ewalt said. “But these scammers are talented and sophisticated. If it could happen to my dad, it could happen to anybody.”

    ———

    These days, everyone knows all about the grandparent scam, but there’s a new version of it created every week. And people can be vulnerable to those scams for any reason. Note in this article that many people along the way helped to convince him it was a scam. The expression “it takes a village” comes to mind. (Fun fact: scammers called him with the exact same scam several months later.)

    With so much of our financial lives online (more than in 2010), scams can be that much easier to succeed, and much easier to keep under the radar of concerned friends or family members. That means, as was the case of two of the people I’ve learned of recently— scams can be ongoing. And that way, even more money can be lost to criminals. It’s heartbreaking.

    All too often, people have shame about being a victim—and so they don’t want to share their story. I remember thinking back in 2010 how great it was that Mr. Krumholz did come forward. I didn’t think less of him for coming forward—I thought more of him for telling the truth and alerting others. And I told him so at church!

    Instead of shame? caution, and trusted contacts

    So, what’s the moral of this story? And the title, “Expect to Be Scammed”? Should we be constantly vigilant and expecting to be cheated at every moment? Looking over our shoulder, living in fear, and constantly worried about becoming a victim?

    No. But we can be extra cautious when it comes to our financial lives. We can also begin to be relatively transparent about our finances with several trusted people in our lives.

    “Expect to be scammed” means being realistic about the existence of bad actors in the world, who come up with sophisticated and devious ways to prey upon people. “Expect to be scammed” means we should practice excellent online “hygiene” when it comes to our financial, and indeed, our online lives in general.

    Next time we discuss money, I’ll cover some ways to keep “healthy” and “hygienic” in our financial lives, especially online. I’ve got a good list going, but send me any tips you have by replying to this email.

    Interesting/Notable:

    It took only 11 people to build this Lego-like apartment complex in Florida.

    Now I want a house made of this. Imagine the easier upkeep and superior insulation!

    An Action Item: Who’s on your Money Board of Directors?

    Apart from your money mom (me!!!), of course.

    But really, give it a little thought this week. Who would be someone good to start talking over some money issues with, even in a very basic way? Siblings are a good start, but there’s probably another person or two you might want to include on that list.

    Here’s a good start of how to talk about it: I’m trying to get better and more organized with money, and I think the accountability of having people I talk to about it would help me out.

    Bonus Action Item: Activate Security Feature on iPhones

    This is a bonus one because the newest iPhone update includes stolen device protection. Read about it here.

    What are you doing this weekend?

    So, now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing:

    *faith—when are you going to Mass?

    *friends—what friends will you see or connect with?

    *food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit?

    *fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally).

  • From the Vault: So A Man Can Stand Up (January 22, 2009)

    From the Vault: So A Man Can Stand Up (January 22, 2009)

    The Mom Weekly Volume 26, January 23, 2024

    Notes:

    Can you believe that this week (Volume 26) marks half a year of doing “The Mom Weekly”? Happy half anniversary to me, and to you for reading!

    (Also, I’m gradually adding the older weeklies to the website. Pretty soon they will all be there, for the record, ha).

    I saw this post when I was looking around at “likely ones” for “From the Vault” editions (see this post for the explanation). I could share from those blogging days, and I found this post from January 2009. For a minute, I was hesitant to share this reflection, from the inauguration and from the anniversary of Roe v. Wade. Not everyone who reads The Mom Weekly shares my pro-life views, and I don’t want to make anyone feel bad or excluded from this.

    But no one is surprised to know that I’m still solidly pro-life (remember: I’m Team Baby (!) ), and I’m not trying to change anyone’s views here. I love everyone in my extended family, and I try to be honest about where I’m coming from. At the same time, I can acknowledge and honor that other people have different views.

    But as I read through this old post, I thought: I would not change a single word. And I didn’t. And I am actually pretty proud of what I wrote, when I was 15 years younger and less mature than I am now!

    Even though a lot of things have happened since this time — and a lot has culturally changed (understatement!!!) — I feel more confident in what I wrote. I am still the goofy corny person who believes—even more so now—that we live in the greatest country in the world.

    Remember how much I love you,

    Mom

    From the Vault: So a Man Can Stand Up (January 22, 2009)

    This year we are studying American history in our home, and corny or not, I keep thinking to myself and remarking to whoever is listening: we live in the greatest country in the world.

    I’m especially inspired by the bravery and the heroism and the intellectual power of the founders of our country. We’ve read tons of books about the American Revolution. I especially like the Jean Fritz ones; they are quick reads and so enjoyable.

    Last summer we listened to the audiobook of Esther Forbes’ Johnny Tremain on a trip to Ohio, and while it could be slow-moving at parts (thus I was so grateful for the long minivan ride), the overall effect was truly “living history,” a novel to help us experience and understand this period in history and some of the people who made it happen.

    I don’t want to give away the end of Johnny Tremain, so I won’t provide the whole context of this quote, but it was brought vividly to my mind this week:

    “You remember that night…that last meeting of the Observers. James Otis came, although we didn’t want him. I can’t remember much of what he said, but I remember how his words made the gooseskin on my arms.’

    ‘I’ll never forget it. He said..so a man can stand up.’

    ‘Yes. And some of us would die–so other men can stand up on their feet like men. A great many are going to die for that. They have in the past. They will a hundred years from now–two hundred. God grant there will always be men good enough.’

    Johnny Tremain was published and won the Newberry Medal in 1944. It was during the midst of World War II, when the Greatest Generation was serving and dying for these freedoms again. And still we have people good enough, who are willing to serve and protect our country and our world. How amazing. So that a man can stand up…

    We had a “television day” Tuesday, and watched the inauguration throughout the day. Apart from the fashions (that’s for another post!) I was teary through much of the traditions accompanying it. We have—not just a peaceful, but a gracious—transfer of power every time there is a new president.

    Other places in the world, even today, have civil war or unrest, coups or dictators. We have the first African-American president, a mere generation away from segregation and a time when it would have seemed impossible. I do not agree with so many policies of Obama, but I couldn’t stop the tears when he took the oath.

    Sir, on the way back from a meeting an hour from home and heading back to the office, stopped at home to watch the actual signing in. He was moved, and that got me teary again, especially by the words of the Reverend Joseph Lowery, the civil rights and spiritual leader who had seen so much, and suffered so much (Sir told me how Lowery was beaten and worse during the civil rights struggle), and yet lived to see this day and give the benediction. So that a man can stand up…

    Today we have another “television day” at our house, to watch live coverage of the March for Life (on EWTN). I am so happy kids got up early enough so we could go to Mass. Our wonderful pastor gave a wonderful reflection about being life-giving, rather than life-draining.

    Our kitchen is still a construction zone, so since work was underway when we came home from Mass, we went to McDonald’s for breakfast. While the kids were eating I read them, for the umpteenth time, Regina Doman’s luminous picture book, Angel in the Waters. I can’t ever read that book without crying, especially on the page, “Then there was light.”

    Homegirl asked why I was getting choked up, and probably thinking, but not saying, why are you crying a lot this week?. I told them that it made me emotional to remember having them as babies, and it made me emotional to see the angel on every page and realize we are surrounded by our own guardian angels, and it also made me emotional, on this day of penance, to realize how vulnerable babies are and how they need to be protected.

    And so I am bracing myself for what President Obama might do to promote or make abortion easier, and I am heavy of heart, and hoping and praying that he does not make it a high priority.

    It is likely that Obama will sign executive orders in favor of abortion—perhaps today—and nothing can really been done about it, except pray and work hard on issues we can, and to support and lift up in prayer those who are wounded by abortion, both those who speak out and those who remain silent.

    We can also be grateful for the tremendous gift of life, and cherish life, and be life-givers. And to remember that there is no liberty, no pursuit of happiness, without life. And we can: “imagine the possibilities”….so a man can stand up.”

    Interesting/Notable

    Can a Big Village Full of Tiny Homes Ease Homelessness in Austin?

    A community of tiny homes created by a local Catholic and others to ease homelessness.

    “Use the difficulty” Michael Caine

    It’s only 90 seconds, and watch to the end—the last sentence is great!

    An Action Item: Make sure your gas tank is at least half full

    This is a quick one, but really worthwhile during cold weather. Dad always talks about having well more than a half tank of gas, especially during the extra-cold days we have had recently. It’s a good car “rule”!

    Check the next time you get in your car, and fill it up if it’s not at least three-quarters full.

    Thank you note of the week: In the spirit of accountability, every so often in the “action item” section, I will share the thank-you that I am trying to write each week. This week, I sent a thank you to Tamar Laddy, the screenwriter of Round and Round, because of how much we enjoyed watching this Hannukah-themed movie in December.

    What are you doing this weekend?

    So, now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing:

    *faith—when are you going to Mass?

    *friends—what friends will you see or connect with?

    *food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit?

    *fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally).

  • Gratitude is Happiness Doubled by Wonder

    Gratitude is Happiness Doubled by Wonder

    The Mom Weekly Volume 25: January 16, 2024

    Gratitude has been on my mind lately. Several things have happened in recent weeks to make me think about how being thankful and grateful can have such a big impact on … everyone. And it’s inspired me to make thankfulness a priority this year.

    bonus points if you can tell where this photo was taken! (hint: it was in November 2019)

    Example 1: The GoFundMe Thank You

    I received an individual thank-you to a GoFundMe fundraiser for a young family we know locally. The family began a CaringBridge when the wife was 28 weeks pregnant, as they learned of heart and other problems with the baby boy she was carrying. Even though they pursued in-utero or neonatal surgery, the baby wasn’t a candidate for those, and, as expected, he died shortly after birth. 

    A friend of their family organized a GoFundMe for expenses and I donated anonymously on behalf of our family. Of course, the organizer and the recipient can always see who donated, but the public-facing was anonymous for me, as I prefer. 

    Here’s the note I received a week or so later:

    Nancy, thank you for your overly generous support. We don’t know how to repay or express our gratitude to you. Thanks to your support and others, we’ve been able to just look after our kids, take care of ourselves, and make plans for (baby name)’s funeral and burial without any major worries. We’ve all just been exhausted by all of this and are dealing with it little by little, bit by bit, and in our own ways. It’s been amazing to see our kids take care of us and each other through this as well. I don’t know how else to express it than thank you from all of us. Love,

    Now here’s an interesting factoid: it’s the first time I’ve ever received a direct thank you—to me personally—in all the times I’ve donated to a GoFundMe or similar fundraiser. 

    Of course I’ve seen the general notes thanking everyone for the donation, but this was the first individualized “thank you” I’ve received. I’m curious and wondering why this thank you meant so much to me.

    Example 2: The Wedding Gift Thank You

    Dad & I received this thank-you card from your newly married cousin and his wife. We found the note to be so charming that we shared it with you as a good example of what to do, so I’m going to share it here:

    We are so happy we got to share our wedding weekend with you! We had a blast and hope you did too, despite that teeny, tiny, bit of rain we had. (Smily face). Thank you so much for the BEAUTIFUL (kitchen gift). We haven’t used it yet, instead we prefer to just look at it and coo over how pretty it is… JK we are just lazy. But we look ford to putting it to good use, especially as soup/stew/casserole season rolls around. Looking forward to seeing you at the beach if not sooner. Love, 

    Again, the note made us much happier than one would expect. 

    Making Gratitude a Priority

    Having experiences and emotions like this makes me want to make gratitude a priority. And I’ve started!

    Last week, I read ​this article from the NY Times about Paynter Jackets​, a company founded by husband/wife team which makes small batches of well-made jackets and shirts.

    When I read the final quote:

    “We make clothes,” Mr. Thomas said. “We don’t make fashion.” 

    …I thought, gosh I want to let them know how wonderful this is.

    So I went to their website to look around, and being the English major nerd I am, I immediately noticed a tiny typo (well actually a grammatical error, but potato potahto— ‘it’s” instead of “its” in a headline). So I decided to combine them into two.

    Here’s what I wrote, which took all of 5 minutes.

    I’m sure you’re getting “millions” of DMs and emails after the NY Times article.

    I found you from the NYTimes article and your business and approach is wonderful! Thank you so much for making “clothes, not fashion.” One of our daughters is in a PhD school for American Studies and literature and material culture is a concentration of hers, so our family will follow your company with interest. 

    The reason for my message is that I was perusing your website and saw a tiny typo in a headline and I thought you would want to know. I hope so, as I would want someone to give me a heads up. It is this story: https://paynter.co.uk/blogs/stories/an-appreciation-of-japanese-culture-and-it-s-impact-on-design-and-business . 

    It should be “its impact” NOT “it’s” in the headline. “It’s” means “it is”–that’s an easy way to check if you’ve got the correct grammar–read out loud any contractions, and if it doesn’t sound right (For example: “An appreciation of Japanese culture and it is impact on design and business), it probably isn’t right. 

    Thank you again, and keep up the great work! 

    After I sent it, it just made me happy that I ran with an idea that I had, and that I could also tell someone that I appreciate the work they are doing in the world.

    I was even happier when Becky responded within about 10 minutes thanking me for the “beady eye spot” (British? Who knows? it sounds cool) and thanking me for appreciating their work.

    Thankful Every Week ….

    I have a goal for 2024 that can be positive for me and others: practice gratitude and thankfulness more often.

    My goal: I want to send a thank you or gratitude to one person each week, and small and “completed” is better than some grand gestures. I think that is doable. I’ll keep you posted on it.

    Have you had any experiences of gratitude like this recently? 

    Remember how much I love you,

    Mom

    Interesting/notable:

    ​A Sleep Expert Hacked My Schedule & Now I Snooze Through The Night​

    Key takeaways: ‘burning off’ the cortisol that builds up from living life is key to good sleep—chiefly a first-thing short walk in the sunshine (even if it’s not sunny, just outside); a short walk in the evening, and 10-minute tech-free breaks through the day.

    ​More Teens Who Use Marijuana Are Suffering From Psychosis (WSJ Gift Link)​

    This was so frightening to read. Today’s marijuana is so much more potent than in years past.

    An Action Item: Begin to gather your tax documents

    I’ve noticed emails recently from several firms with tax documents for 2023, and since I’m kind of old school about it, I have been printing them off and putting them in my “Taxes 2023” file that I keep all year long. Then— in a month or so— when I am ready to tackle/begin taxes, I’ve got a good head start. Consider doing the same!

    What are you doing this weekend?

    Yes, we are having a polar vortex again, but you can still try to plan out some fun things for this weekend.

    So, now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F’s to get ideas flowing:

    *faith—when are you going to Mass?

    *friends—what friends will you see or connect with?

    *food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit?

    How about ​this copycat Olive Garden chicken gnocchi soup​? (My recipe is slightly different, but you can check The Household Book for that one).

    *fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally).

  • From the Vault: Math Problem of the Day

    From the Vault: Math Problem of the Day

    The Mom Weekly Volume 24: January 9, 2024

    Note: I love this “from the vault” so much. Nearly 15 years after this was written, we are all much more numbers and financially literate than back then. But much of that could be because of the good start we had! I really enjoyed teaching math.

    From the Vault Math Problem of the Day (June 2009)

    We have G is for Googol from the library right now, and I think I am going to purchase it. It is really a neat exploration of numbers.

    After reading the first part of What’s Math Got to Do with It?, (also from the library), I see the value in really giving playing around with math another try. The author, Jo Boaler, hasn’t convince me to give up the idea that it is important to know your basic facts really well. I still think having a solid grasp of those—addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, fractions and decimals—is important, but I do see where we could have a little more fun around math.

    So I decided on a “problem of the day.” What’s Math Got to Do with It has quite a few ones, with sample solutions, in the back of the book, and I thought I’d start there. In the meantime I was reading to Max a page a day in G is for Googol and hoping other people would listen in, and when I read about binary numbers.

    Homegirl jumped up and we did some work on it on the dry erase board in the kitchen.

    So cool!

    The question was:

    “Would you rather have a penny a day, doubled each day, and the next amount doubled, for a month, or $1,000,000?”

    Max, of course, wanted the million bucks. But Homegirl (Ideagirl is in bed with a fever) understood and remembered from One Grain of Rice that we read years ago, that it was better to choose the penny.

    So she decided to count out the doubled rice until as long as she could easily. Here is her set-up, labeled by day and amount of grains of rice. Notice her handsome rice-counter assistant. She is so good at inspiring action!

    2009 cuties counting rice

    Interesting/notable

    Label maker—“Why have you been keeping me from this joy for so long?”

    On Facebook recently, I asked for advice about getting a label maker, and had so many fun comments about each person’s favorite and how much they enjoy it. As I wrote when I went back to thank everyone after I got this one, “Just coming back here to say that I got one and it is SO MUCH FUN! Why have you all been keeping me from this joy for so long? I want to label everything.”

    J3 suggested that I label the label maker, and so I dutifully did.

    ​

    The Four Phases of Retirement

    ​The Four Phases of Retirement—(TEDx conference, Surrey) Interesting!

    Superchick

    Dad and I listened Superchick on a recent drive on Spotify. Such fun music, and a lot of good memories.

    Some of my favorite songs:

    ​Stand Up

    ​Princes and Frogs

    ​Bowling Ball ​

    ​One Girl Revolution

    ​Me Against the World

    What are you doing this weekend?

    The Mom Weekly schedules to post on Tuesdays. One of the reasons for this is to encourage you (and me, too!) to think about weekend plans. All too often, I have let that go until Friday, and then it’s hard to get people together, or make plans for coffee, or figure out when you go to Mass (other than the default, which is what we typically do).

    So, now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing:

    *faith—when are you going to Mass?

    *friends—what friends will you see or connect with?

    *food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit?

    *fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally)..

  • Close the Loop

    The Mom Weekly Volume 23: January 2, 2024

    As far as I can tell, David Allen of Getting Things Done fame, is the one who popularized the concept of “closing the loop.”

    As Allen explains it, having unfinished tasks, especially ones that aren’t written down, take up valuable “real estate” in our brains, and can make us less effective and less happy, and have less energy for the things we really want to or need to accomplish. Here’s one article from his website explaining some of the concepts.

    Here’s an example of this in life recently: our vehicle insurance renews towards the end of the year, and it’s been an open loop for some time for me, because we were considering moving to a different company. Even though I had it written as a task and project in my ToDoist app, it would pop into my mind every so often.

    After talking about it and doing some research, Dad and I decided to stay with our current company, but change a few things about our insurance to lower the payment. Then I had to set up an auto payment for the new amount from a new account. Once that was completed, I knew I needed to get the insurance cards into each vehicle.

    I like to laminate the cards so each is easy to find in the glove box. So another day, I found the insurance cards on our online account, printed them out, and laminated each one.

    Fortunately, Giuliana noticed before we started to put them in each vehicle that I had mistakenly printed out last year’s insurance cards, which were to expire in December 2023. Good catch!

    So, I had to go into the account again, print out the new cards (expiring in December 2024), download those, print and laminate them. Everyone was home those around Christmas, so I figured it would be easy.

    It sounds like I had “closed the loop,” but I didn’t feel that satisfaction just yet. That would not happen until each of the cards were in their respective vehicles. I immediately put mine in my vehicle, and asked everyone else to do it. I left the laminated sheets (labeled with a sticky note for each vehicle to spot quickly), on the kitchen counter closest to the door, so we would all see them when we walked by.

    After a day or so, the insurance forms were in their respective vehicles, and being able to “close that loop” was so satisfying for me. Now I don’t need to think about that project (and that loop) until November or December of 2024, when it comes time to renew our vehicle insurance again.

    Phew!

    What’s your point?

    I tell that story not just to show how great I am for taking care of that project for our family (but you are welcome to let me know how great I am for taking care of that for our family, LOL).

    But it got me thinking about loops.

    I want to make sure that I can close the loop on various projects and tasks. The best way is to think when I start something: how can I close the loop on this?

    And so I’m going to encourage you to do the same.

    First of all, having a system in place to remind yourself of things, so that you don’t have to keep it all in your head, is probably the most important step of this.

    I love using ToDoist to remind me to do things I need to do weekly or monthly, or even annually. For example, I have a recurring event in ToDoist to remind me to give the dogs their monthly heartworm pills. Instead of having to remember it “in my head”, I simply note when the ToDoist reminder comes up. Once I give the dogs their pill, I comment on the date, and then checking the item off moves it to a month away. It’s a great system. But one can use paper, or the Notes app on your phone, or any other system. You just have to trust that you will be reminded of things, so it can get out of your brain.

    Often, projects take multiple steps—like the auto insurance listed above.

    Also: creating The Mom Weekly! I might complete writing it a few days ahead (or not– It depends).But I can’t “close the loop” until I upload the text and any graphics to the website, add in the appropriate links, schedule it to go out via email. Then I can close that loop, until it comes around again next week. It’s effortful, but very satisfying. I hope you enjoy it!

    Remember how much I love you,

    Mom

    Interesting/Notable:

    Abiding in the Still Point

    The women’s book group I run at our parish is reading T.S. Eliot’s “The Four Quartets” for January, and one of the members shared this beautiful article about it.

    How Nine Lessons & Carols Brought a Century of Christmas Comfort

    Dad was telling us about how the Lessons & Carols came to be, and this article describes it as well. The service was created was by a young deacon who had been in World War I, but “had to consider how to tend to the emotional and spiritual wounds soldiers brought home. He began to formulate a service with the suffering and trauma of the last four years in mind, a service marked by beauty, simplicity, and truth.”

    As you may remember, we have often listened to on the BBC Christmas Eve morning (and actually Christmas Eve in England, where it is broadcast from).

    Also, there is a wonderful documentary about Lessons & Carols and how it all comes together in modern times.

    An Action Item:

    Subscribe! I have added a subscribe box to each of the newsletters, as well as on each page of the website. Eventually, it will be even more interconnected, and I will have all of the old newsletters uploaded to the website. But in the meantime, you can subscribe if you are not, and you can forward this email to others, and they can subscribe using the form embedded in each newsletter and each post.

    I have also begun to design the website. It’s very basic now, and I find the formatting kind of wonky. But for now, my goal will be to get all of the old weeklies uploaded, and then I can work more on design. I’ll get there, bit by bit.

    What are you doing this weekend?

    The Mom Weekly schedules to post on Tuesdays. One of the reasons for this is to encourage you (and me, too!) to think about weekend plans. All too often, I have let that go until Friday, and then it’s hard to get people together, or make plans for coffee, or figure out when you go to Mass (other than the default, which is what we typically do).

    So, now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing:

    *faith—when are you going to Mass?

    *friends—what friends will you see or connect with?

    *food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit?

    *fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally).