You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the home page here.
Notes:
(This section is “not” an April Fool’s joke/prank in any way!)
Remember how much I love you,
Mom
Check the Date
Most of you know that I’m not a big fan, or a fan at all, of April Fool’s Day. It’s just not my thing, because it seems like pranks or jokes can get elaborate or messy or mean or land poorly, etc. Too much risk for not much reward.
It turns out that I’m not the only one—and this cyber security company used the “holiday” as an opportunity to educate people about scams.
Fortunately, there have been some cute April Fools posts/videos related to personal finance over the years. Let me share some for some comic relief (or at least a chuckle) this day. Most are from YNAB, because when I went looking those were the best produced and funniest.
Or you can ask yourself “Whose issue is this anyway?” It might be nice if your colleague didn’t use double exclamation points in all his e-mails, but this hardly reflects on you.”
Another Substack writer I came across. Maybe someone shared it? I find Substack’s current interface odd and non-intuitive.
An excellent quote:
“The crucifixes are not descriptive of where Christ is right now, they’re an exploration of what that moment entailed.”
An Action Item: Prepare Your Net Worth for Quarter 1
Remember that at the end of each quarter, the action item is to update your net worth. March 31 was the end of Q1 (or the first quarter of 2025), so it’s worthwhile updating.
Repeating my regular script: This may take slightly longer this first time, if you have not done so. But I promise you, over time, you will be happy that you do this.
The reason I hesitated is that, especially for younger people, it could be pretty likely you have a negative net worth, largely because of student loans. But that’s will be so temporary (over the long haul!) that it should not discourage you.
When people begin to track their net worth, they call it “getting back to zero” when they have a zero net worth. That may not seem promising, but it’s a great accomplishment for those who have paid off a significant amount of debt, whether student loan debt, credit card debt, or other types of debt.
And it can be very encouraging to see an improvement in your net worth over time.
Here my super-simple net worth calculator spreadsheet .There’s no formatting with cool colors and such, but it works and completes the calculations for you. Let me know what you think about it!
A couple of notes:
*Unfortunately, Google Sheets does not allow password-protecting of items. I prefer to keep this information, and most of my spreadsheets, in a format I can password protect. Think Microsoft Excel, Apple’s Numbers, etc. You can even do this on paper if you want, and store it somewhere safe.
*There are two “sheets” in the shared spreadsheet —the first is a blank one, and the second is a sample with random numbers that I have included. I have added in pretend numbers to the sample sheet, so you can see how the numbers change over time.
*Sometimes people do not add in their vehicles or mortgages. I do, because you can see how much equity you have in the house or vehicle. But I mentally don’t include them the same weight as other assets, since they are not liquid and it’s not likely one would sell them for living expenses, in retirement or not.
You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the home page here.
The Sunday Tramps
Last month, I finished a wonderful book from the library: The Dictionary People: The Unsung Heroes Who Created the Oxford English Dictionary by Sarah Ogilvie. The book tells the story of the thousands of unpaid volunteers from around the world recruited by James Murray, one of the first editors of the Oxford English Dictionary (OED). Each chapter tells of one category of volunteers, based on a letter of the alphabet. For instance, “A for Archaeologist,” “F for Families,” “O for Outsiders.”
The “T” chapter is “T for Tramps, the Sunday” and is worth some explaining.
The “Sunday Tramps,” was coined by Leslie Stephen, a writer who also happened to be the father of Virginia Woolf. He gathered a group of intellectual men (“tramp” being a term at the time for ‘walking excursion.’) who met every other Sunday for long (up to 25 miles) walks (and conversation) in the countryside around London. Stephen was known as the “Captain of the Tramps.”
I thought at first: I would love to have a group like that! However, I don’t think my local hiking women friends would like the name much? Also, I don’t think I would have fit in very well with this male-only group, who were atheistic and walked on Sunday in defiance of honoring “the Sabbath.”
And then I came across this long passage about Murray being an avid hiker, and why he, too, would not have made him a good member of the Sunday Tramps. Here it is:
Murray’s Christian conviction would never have allowed him to join the Sunday Tramps in their sabbath-defying hikes. Walking in nature was for him a religious experience, an act of devotion, which went back to a mystical experience the had when he was thirty-eight years old. Murray was on his annual holiday with Ada and their young family at Easedale in the Lake District. Early one evening, he went out walking alone in the mountains, in anticipation of rate rising of the full moon. As night began to fall, he got lost. The moon had not yet risen, he fell in the darkness and badly injured his foot but kept on going. Scrambling down a steep incline, he reached an expanse of deep black in futon of him. He stopped and suddenly realized that he was in great danger, and clung to a heather tussock on a precipice overhanging the lake far below.
Writing in his diary afterwards, he explained, “I could myself do nothing but one thing. I dropped to my knees on the heather tussock on which I stood and earnestly besought God to guide me in this, one of the most dangerous emergencies of my life.” He got up and went to walk in one direction, but a strong feeling told him to turn around and go the opposite way. This decision, he believed, saved his life. “I have absolutely no explanation save that it was God’s answer to my prayer and such I have ever felt it. One does not proclaim these things from the housetops; they are too sacred. But they are among the most profound convictions of one’s soul; and, many a time since then, may faith in the Invisible has been restored by remembering my experience at Easedale Tarn.”
Murray’s belief in God sustained him throughout his work on the Dictionary. On his seventieth birthday, he gave a speech which reflected his lifelong devotion: “The Dictionary is to me .. the work that God has found for me and for which I now see that my sharpening of intellectual tools was done and became to me a high and sacred devotion.”
Murray’s religious beliefs, his lack of formal education, and his different social class are some of the reasons why he was not a member of the Sunday Tramps.
——-———
Isn’t that just wonderful? I hope you noticed that he got injured hiking in the Lake District, like I did last year. And I am so, so very glad that I wasn’t alone, and he was not alone, and that I was taken care of so well. But, as Murray would say about experiences like this “one does not proclaim these things from the housetop; they are too sacred.”
“My brain got into the rhythm of the denser text at more or less the same time as I worked out who all the characters were (it helped to have seen Clueless several times), and suddenly I was … enjoying Austen. The chapter openings are consistently great, the asides are savage, and the social critiques are delivered in a flurry of bon mots. There’s a bit where a character goes to London for a haircut and everyone else is so bracingly mean about it, I laughed out loud in a cafe.”
An Action Item: Consider Maxing Out Your 2025 Roth IRA
Not for the first time will you hear that one of my big regrets is not maximizing Roths when we were younger. Roths have only been around since 1998, but I could have rolled over old IRA money into a Roth decades ago. (And I have started gradually rolling over some money each year from IRAs into my Roth).
The maximum Roth contribution for 2025 for most people under 50 is $7,000 (see this page for details). You may or may not have $7,000 hanging around to put into a Roth, but even if you have part of it, wouldn’t you be glad that you did it early? That way, at the end of the year, you can look back and see that you have already checked that item off your list.
Even if you don’t have the amount right now, consider using some or all of your tax refund to go towards your Roth IRA.
I’ve explained to some of you how you can consider or use your Roth as your emergency fund. That’s because you can always, penalty free, take the money that you have put into your Roth IRA. (It’s the earnings that are “locked up” until age 59.5)
The last few years, social media is rife with the meme or concept “well, that wasn’t on my bingo card for …..” this year or a certain time. For example, not on one’s bingo card: a pandemic, social distancing and shutdowns, a president dropping out of the race just before the election, swarms of drones flying over New Jersey.
Do you notice how it is almost always bad news that is (not) on the bingo card?
So I thought, wouldn’t it be fun to create a bingo card that includes only good items? And then, through the entire year, to try to cover the entire board by seeing that those good things could happen. All the items, of course, would be things mostly within one’s control—so, for instance, winning the lottery would not be an item.
We know the unexpected bad things are going to happen. No one has them on their bingo cards. When they do happen, we can rue that this didn’t seem very likely to happen. Who knew?
But good news, or accomplishments of one sort of another, can be a fun challenge.
An Alternative New Year’s Resolution List
I have mostly gotten away from the concept of new year’s resolutions. But years ago, I did what I found very satisfying new year’s resolution, and also attainable with a good bit of effort.
That year, I set a goal of running a half-marathon each month. They didn’t all have to be official “races,” but at least one run of 13.1 miles or more, each month. I started in January with the Naples Half-Marathon– I think I have run that race six time or more! I had a few other races sprinkled through the year, so I could easily do a training run of the amount. It took effort, but it was “doable.”
So this year, I’m going to go for the “bingo card” concept, in the hopes that I can enjoy getting to mark items, for the satisfaction of filling in the entire board, or at least most of it.
I’m going to include a blank bingo card as the image for this weekly, and you are welcome to print it out or download it and add your own items. (Also, in a timely design choice, the background color of the bingo card is Pantone’s color for 2025—mocha mousse.)
No one will be surprised to hear that many of my bingo card items are travel related, but I also have goals related to organizing, spending intentional time with friends, and volunteering.
Have fun with yours, and feel free to share your items, or your entire bingo card, with me!
I love quizzes like this. I didn’t do well, but probably better than other people in my age range.
An Action Item: Get Ready for Your Quarterly Net Worth Update
It’s not just the end of the year, it’s the end of the quarter!
Remember that at the end of each quarter, the action item is to update your net worth. December 31 is the end of Q4 (or the fourth and final quarter of 2024!).
Repeating my regular script:
This may take slightly longer this first time, if you have not done so. But I promise you, over time, you will be happy that you do this.
The reason I hesitated is that, especially for younger people, it could be pretty likely you have a negative net worth, largely because of student loans. But that’s will be so temporary (over the long haul!) that you should not be discouraged by it.
When people begin to track their net worth, they call it “getting back to zero” when they have a zero net worth. That may not seem promising, but it’s a great accomplishment for those who have paid off a significant amount of debt, whether student loan debt, credit card debt, or other types of debt.
And it can be very encouraging to see an improvement in your net worth over time.
*Unfortunately, Google Sheets does not allow password-protecting of items. I prefer to keep this information, and most of my spreadsheets, in a format I can password protect. Think Microsoft Excel, Apple’s Numbers, etc. You can even do this on paper if you want, and store it somewhere safe.
*There are two “sheets” in the shared spreadsheet —the first is a blank one, and the second is a sample with random numbers that I have included. I have added in pretend numbers to the sample sheet, so you can see how the numbers change over time.
*Sometimes people do not add in their vehicles or mortgages. I do, because you can see how much equity you have in the house or vehicle. But I mentally don’t include them the same weight as other assets, since they are not liquid and it’s not likely one would sell them for living expenses, in retirement or not.
What are you doing this weekend?
You may have noticed that I’ve dropped the weekly item of “what are you doing this weekend?”
That’s because I found it just extra filler, and since it was the same text each week, probably all of you skimmed over it and didn’t actually read it, much less do the suggested action (plan your weekends ahead of time).
But I thought I would add it in occasionally, in the hopes that you will plan your weekend, at least this week, and when you see how positive it is.
I’m also writing to myself, because the action items I include are often things that I want to do and accomplish. And this week, I’m going to make a good effort to plan things out.
So, now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing:
*faith—when are you going to Mass?
*friends—what friends will you see or connect with?
*food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit?
*fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally).
You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the home page here.
Notes:
Yes, I realize that part of this newsletter is kind of a “repeat” of last week’s “action item.” But I expanded on it, and posted it to my neglected Your Money Mom website, and sent it to that email list yesterday (so you might be receiving it twice!). But it’s worth a look.
Also: I have pre-scheduled the next few weeks of The Mom Weekly, since as you know there will be some travel involved in the coming weeks. And I’m pre-scheduling because, for the first time in many years, I will not bring my laptop, as I do on almost every trip.
So if there is any breaking news, know that it won’t be covered in these pages—not that it ever was!
I’ve not been too active here on Your Money Mom in recent times. But that’s not because I’m not giving money advice. I’m just not doing much of it online!
Despite that, I often have valuable information to share, since I’m still the money nerd that everyone knows and loves. I just wonder what is the best way to do this well, and reach a good number of people. In the meantime two modest but “rewarding” money tip are getting me back to posting here.
I would appreciate your thoughts about what kind of content you would like to see from me, and how often, and in what form. I’m pondering options (Substack, maybe?). Your feedback is welcome! You can hit reply to this email, and it will come directly to me.
Friendly Money Advice: Always Check Friends/Family for Referrals Before Signing Up for Something
On to today’s first money tip!
Whenever you’re about to sign up for a service or get something, find out if there’s a referral link you can use to help a friend or family member. I do this often with websites I trust and want to support, but it also works well with friends and family members.
Case in point:
Less than a year ago, I heard something (for the millionth time) about Rakuten, the free online shopping portal/app/browser extension to get rebates for online shopping.
Surprisingly, I had never joined, even when it was Ebates. I think I had been using the Honey extension on my browser; and while it helped with coupon codes, I wasn’t getting many rebates.
Anyway, I thought, it’s probably time to sign up. And before I did, I stopped and thought, I wonder if anyone has a referral link? So I texted the family, and one of my kids had a referral offer that gave us each $30 for me signing up. Nice! Neither one of us would have gotten anything if I had just signed up for Rakuten.
My experience with Rakuten
Now that I’ve been using Rakuten for awhile, I’m kind of impressed at how easy it is to get some decent rebates. t’s not life-changing money, but it’s not “nothing,” and it’s worth doing, in my opinion.
For instance, I had to make a Shutterfly purchase the other day to keep my account current, and I see I got $5.32 back.
I ordered glasses from EyeBuyDirect last week, and got $31.60 back (that was because of an increased offer, which I don’t remember now—occasionally Rakuten will give you a higher percentage back, like 20 percent, on a purchase). More about EyeBuyDirect below!
I think everyone who uses Rakuten has the $40 offer, so if you have a family member who uses Rakuten, feel free to ask them for theirs, to keep the $ in the family.
Final Rakuten hack: when I first signed up, I got “double” points back that week. I think that is still the offer, but just know when you do sign up, that clock starts. I wish I had known about it ahead of time to plan for some purchases.
Check for referral links when you are shopping
So back to EyeBuyDirect. You may have noticed it was a link—and that’s my referral code.
As I mentioned above, I got Rakuten cash back from purchasing glasses from EyeBuyDirect, something I’ve done for years. It turns out that EyeBuyDirect has a referral program.
I just want to double underline that whenever you are spending money or signing up for something online, it’s good to check with a friend or family member to try to avoid “leaving money on the table.”
Paypal Fundraising Hub
Money tip number two!
Now that it’s almost Giving Tuesday, I hope you are all considering some charitable giving. I know we are at our house.
I have also been trying to meet the minimum spend on a new-to-me credit card so I can get the sign-up bonus. I hesitate to share the referral link, because I don’t want people to sign up for credit cards unless they are actively seeking credit card rewards, and not in credit card debt. If you have interest in my referral link, just reply to this email, or search around for the best offer for you. Donating to a charity, using a credit card that offers points and other perks, is a win/win for all.
Many charities ask you to contribute extra to cover the credit card payment processing fees, which is fair! But as I chip in, I always think, wouldn’t it be nice if credit card companies didn’t charge charities the payment processing fee?
And then I learned that there is a way to donate to (some) charities without payment processing fees for either the charity or the donor.
It’s called PayPal Fundraising Hub
What’s great about this is that PayPal covers the payment processing fees for these charitable donations. The charity doesn’t have to pay, and you don’t have to pay.
From PayPal:
PayPal covers all transaction fees. You’re donating to PayPal Giving Fund, a 501(c)(3) charity, subject to its terms. Donations can take up to 45 days to get to your chosen charity. It’s rare, but if we can’t send your money to this charity, we’ll ask you to recommend another. If we can’t reach you, we’ll send it to a similar charity and keep you updated. Your donation is typically tax-deductible in the US.
I can find at least a few of the charities I donate to here. It’s a great way to donate if you want to use a credit card (for points or other benefits, not to go into debt, of course!). It’s really a win/win for everyone.
I may also ask some of our local charities to consider joining PayPal Fundraising Hub; as far as I can tell, it’s free to join, and there are no downsides.
Your Turn
I hope you enjoyed these modest but “rewarding” money tips.
Have you had any great referral bonus offers lately? Any good tips for saving, giving, or spending money well?
Let me know!
Remember, you’re doing well with your money, and you can do better!
An Action Item: Consider (continuing /starting) the St. Andrew Christmas Novena
I wrote about this last year, and so I’m going to share again. The St. Andrew Christmas novena began last Saturday, as it does every year on November 30, but it’s ongoing, so you can jump in at any time.
The St. Andrew Novena is an interesting novena. It starts on the feast of St. Andrew, which is November 30, and ends on December 24. You are meant to pray the pray 15x a day. You can read about it here on the Hallow website.
Now, 15 times a day may seem like a lot, but it’s really not. I have an album in 15 photos of different artist versions of the prayer. Some are repeated. What I do is “favorite” a prayer once I’ve said it, and come back to the album when I have a chance. Once all of the photos are favorited, I’m finished for the day. The next day, I remove them from favorites, and so on, through the novena. It’s worked really well for me. This year I decided to create my own. I quickly created five different ones in a graphic design program, and they are now part of the album.
Here’s a screenshot (from last year!) of my album of St. Andrew Novenas:
Here are a couple of individual ones that you can save if you would like:
You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the home page here.
Notes
I came across this “from the vault” when I was looking around on my old blog. And I remember so vividly writing it, and even more vividly how I kept it, all these years, as a “draft” and never publishing it. That’s because at the time, it didn’t seem quite “good enough” and that it seemed too intimate and tender to share at that time.
When I read it now, 16 years later, I am in awe of my ability to write such long and (frankly) really good pieces, when I had so much going on. And it makes me want to commit to writing more about what I’m feeling and experiencing as life is happening.
I imagine that 2038 me will be so glad that 2024 me took the time to do this. That is, in the same way that 2024 me (right now!) is looking back and so grateful for 2008 me. And also, I’m giving 2008 me a big hug and saying, “Trust me, it’s good enough. It’s better than good enough. Keep going.”
Remember how much I love you,
Mom
Thank God Ahead of Time (From the Vault, November 2008)
I consider myself a thankful person in general, but I didn’t start that way on Thanksgiving Day. When Sir and I were first married—we joked about it even at the time—I once said during a disagreement, ” You know what the problem is? You’re not exactly like me.”
So I’ve left off saying that, and laugh about the young married me who said that, because of course that would be not be the problem. But I have to confess, and Sir knows, that I still have some days like that, wishing we felt exactly the same way about something or had the same ideas about….fill in the blank.
Thanksgiving morning was one of “those mornings,” even though I got to Mass, and I have to say again I was pretty grumbly. I now look back and see I was upset about my mom’s decline that I had been hearing about from two states away. I know my mom would want me to stay with my family, and I thought I was doing the right thing by staying at home.
So when my brother called around dinner time Thanksgiving Day, after having spent the day with my parents, he talked about how mom was weak but stable and doing okay, I just wanted to be there. I talked with Sir about my mom’s state, and he asked if I wanted to go out. I said, “Well, I know my mom and dad would both say, ‘stay at home,’ so I don’t need to go for them.”
And he, not me but absolutely wonderful in his kindness toward me, said something like, “What do you want to do for you?” And I realized immediately, I want to be there. Talking with him, and having him be supportive of it (which he had actually done a few days before as well) makes me so grateful for him. Of course not at the moment, because I was still grumbly, but I knew in my heart and said to myself, “I’m so glad he’s not exactly like me.”
So I threw some clothes in a bag and gave him the keys to the minivan and left at 8 p.m. in his car. I am not a nighttime driver, but I was able to stay awake for the entire drive.
When I got to the freeway about 20 minutes from our house, I started to get very emotional and felt it was probably pointless because I would not make it 400 miles in time before she died, so I started praying Divine Mercy Chaplet in song, which I have loaded on my iPod. (I have since learned from a friend that apparently it is good to say the Divine Mercy Chaplet with a dying person). As I started the chaplet, I was praying as I that I could make it in time to say goodbye to my mom. Sir had mentioned to me as I left that if I could get there in time, to speak to mom, as hearing is often the last faculty to leave. I imagined what I might say; I don’t really need to say goodbyes; there was nothing left unsaid. I think I just wanted more presence.
But by the time I got to the end of the first full chaplet, I was at peace. I didn’t want my mom to linger or suffer anymore. I felt united with her in prayer and knew that the Lord would be with her. I didn’t “have to” get there. So when my brother called a few hours later—I was not yet halfway there—that mom’s breathing had changed. He was heading down the 45 minutes to her, it was okay. I was on the phone with various sisters along the drive, and staying awake.
My brother arrived around midnight, and prayed, out loud, the sorrowful mysteries at Mom’s bedside. And a minute or two after he finished, she stopped breathing. It was very peaceful. What a beautiful sending forth.
I arrived about two hours later and was so grateful to be there and stay most of the weekend, helping begin the arrangements.
At the last minute I had put in my bag this Father Solanus Casey biography. Re-reading parts of it in the days after my mom’s death was very fruitful.
Apparently one of Father Solanus’ favorite sayings was “Thank God Ahead of Time.” A few months ago, a priest suggested I read about this remarkable man and his capacity for gratitude. And now I wish I were more a person who could thank God ahead of time, instead of realizing much, much later, how much my life, indeed, everyone’s life, is filled with grace.
The author, Catherine Odell, writes of Father Solanus’ homily at the funeral of one of his brothers, also a priest: “He spoke of death as a humiliating but purifying gateway to eternal life. Death, he told the congregation, ‘is the last of the blessings God showers upon our earthly journey toward home.’ It was his favorite theme — gratitude to God for whatever he gives us.”
The back of the book has a helpful section of “Words of Wisdom” quoting Father Solanus. This quote on death: “Death is the climax of all humiliation, when we must finally give up all and turn all over to God. Death can be very beautiful—like a wedding—if we make it so.”
And on gratitude:
“Gratitude is the first sign of a thinking, rational creature. Be sure, if the enemy of our souls in pleased at anything in us, it is ingratitude of whatever kind. Why? Ingratitude leads to so many breaks with God and our neighbor.”
There have been so many graces and help and love from people in the days following Mom’s death. I am acutely aware now, much after Thanksgiving—I started this days ago, but am writing this the night before her funeral—that I am grateful for everything. The life of my mom, her peaceful death, growing up in my terrific family, for my own terrific family, and a husband I am amazingly grateful is not “exactly like me.” And I resolve I want to be the kind of person who thanks God ahead of time.
This is surely for me, and also for the members of my family, a time of grace and a time of peace, as Advent is meant to be. May it continue to be so for all of us.
Our temptation is to turn God into a being that hates what we hate and loves what we love, whose main concern is our day-to-day contentedness.
I don’t believe in that God. I’ve never known him. The God I believe in is sitting in this shit with me, staring up at the stars.
An Action Item: Consider Joining Rakuten (if you have not yet)
This is also Mom’s Occasional Money Advice: whenever you’re about to sign up for a service or get something, find out if there’s a referral link you can use to help a friend or family member. Case in point:
Less than a year ago, I heard something (for the millionth time) about Rakuten, the free online shopping portal/app/browser extension to get rebates for online shopping. Surprisingly, I had never joined, even when it was Ebates. I think I had been using the Honey extension on my browser, but while it helped with coupon codes, I wasn’t getting many rebates.
Anyway, I thought, it’s probably time to sign up. And before I did, I stopped and thought, I wonder if anyone has a referral link? So I texted the family, and one of my kids had a referral offer that gave us each $30 for me signing up.
Now that I’ve been using it for awhile, I’m kind of impressed at how easy it is to get some decent rebates. t’s not life-changing money, but it’s not “nothing,” and it’s worth doing, in my opinion. For instance, I had to make a Shutterfly purchase the other day to keep my account current, and I see I got $5.32 back. I ordered glasses from Eyebuydirect last week, and got $31.60 back (that was because of an increased offer, which I don’t remember now—occasionally Rakuten will give you a higher percentage back, like 20 percent, on a purchase).
I think everyone who uses Rakuten has the $40 offer, so if you have a family member who uses Rakuten, feel free to ask them for theirs, to keep the $ in the family.
Final Rakuten hack: when I first signed up, I got “double” points back that week. I think that is still the offer, but just know when you do sign up that clock starts. I wish I had known about it ahead of time to plan for some purchases, but I was able to take advantage of it a little bit with an online purchase at Sam’s Club and I think order some shoes.
What are you doing this weekend?
So, now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing:
*faith—when are you going to Mass?
*friends—what friends will you see or connect with?
*food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit?
*fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally).
You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the website here.
People Want to Help
As I have mentioned before, I keep a list of potential “headlines” for future Weeklies, and turn to them when I have my “writing time” and can devote some effort to this.
Today’s headline—People Want to Help—didn’t have anything written or any notes. But you may remember me saying this adage from time to time.
It can be a natural inclination for most people—in different situations—to avoidasking for help. We don’t want to be any trouble, or we do not want to bother people. We’d rather figure something out ourselves than request assistance.
But the research shows that far from making people resent us, people who are the “helpers” feel more positive about themselves, and feel more positive about the person being helped.
It can be awkward to ask for help, or to reach out to someone, depending on the situation. But knowing that it can brighten someone’s day, why not give it a try?
The researchers found that even reaching out to a friend with a text saying “hi” can mean a lot. I encourage you to try it, once a day or more, if possible! Consider this your bonus “action item” if you’d like!
Now, this doesn’t always work. For instance, the day that I’m writing the first draft of this happened to be one of the last days to swim at our outdoor pool this season. When I arrived, there were no empty lanes; even the non-laned part of the pool had several swimmers.
So, as we are supposed to do, I asked a swimmer if I could share the lane with her. She was not happy to help, let’s just put it that way! She was downright grumpy about it, but in the end, she did share, as she only had a lap or two to go. I hope that she felt more positive about the situation by the time she finished swimming. We can only hope. 🙂
Just as I was finishing my laps (grumpy swimmer had already finished her laps and left), I could see a man about to join the person in the lane next to me. I called over, “This is my last lap!” So he would know he had a lane to himself. He was delighted. And it gave me a little boost of happiness!
So, this is your gentle reminder to ask for help (and say thank you!) for something small in the next few days. Ask someone to hold the door for you if you’re holding some books or a coffee. Ask a friend (or your Mom, hint, hint) for advice about something. Text a friend just to say hi (and make a goal for once a week or more!)
For some reason, I can remember my Mom laughing at this video when it was on TV. Maybe I misremembered? Anyway, it is pretty funny.
And who could forget the fun Schoolhouse Rock song, “Interjections!”?
An Action Item: Get Ready for Your Quarterly Net Worth Update
I hope you remember that at the end of each quarter, I suggest you update your net worth. September 30 is the end of Q3, or the third quarter of 2024.
Repeating from earlier updates:
This may take slightly longer this first time, if you have not done so. But I promise you, over time, you will be happy that you do this.
The reason I hesitated is that it could be pretty likely you have a negative net worth, largely because of student loans. But that’s will be so temporary (over the long haul!) that you should not be discouraged by it.
When people begin to track their net worth, they call it “getting back to zero” when they have a zero net worth. That may not seem promising, but it’s an impressive accomplishment for those who have paid off a significant amount of debt, whether student loan debt, credit card debt, or other types of debt.
And it can be very encouraging to see an improvement in your net worth over time.
*Unfortunately, Google Sheets does not allow password-protecting of items. I prefer to keep this information, and most of my spreadsheets, in a format I can password protect. Think Microsoft Excel, Apple’s Numbers, etc. You can even do this on paper if you want, and store it somewhere safe.
*There are two “sheets” in the spreadsheet I’ve shared—the first contains no entries, and the second is a sample with random numbers that I have included.
*Sometimes people do not add in their vehicles or mortgages. I do, because you can see how much equity you have in the house or vehicle. But informally, I don’t include them the same weight as other assets, since they are not liquid and it’s not likely one would sell them for living expenses, whether in retirement or not.
What are you doing this weekend?
So, now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing:
*faith—when are you going to Mass?
*friends—what friends will you see or connect with?
*food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit?
*fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally).
