In Praise of People Who Share Their Scam Stories (again!)

The Mom Weekly Volume 88: April 15, 2025

You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the website here. https://themomweekly.com/

Notes

I hope that you have filed your taxes by now, but if you have not, today’s the day! So get to it.

Also, we are in Holy Week. The Triduum and Easter are in a few days. Enjoy this sacred season. To be honest, I will be glad—not for the first time—that Lent is over. It’s not my favorite season, but I want to appreciate it better than I do—something to ponder! For now, I’ll get ready to celebrate the Easter season. 

Remember how much I love you,

Mom

In Praise of People Who Share Their Scam Stories, Again

I recommend you take a few minutes to read this Wall Street Journal article (gift link):

“The Panicked Voice on the Phone Sounded Like Her Daughter. It Wasn’t.”

It is so helpful to read these kinds of accounts. I’ve written about them previously here and here.

First of all, so we can be sympathetic to people who have been through this. Everyone is susceptible to these kinds of scams, and that’s why involving trusted others (such as family members) in our financial lives is so important.

Also, it does make me fear for what AI can do to perpetrate these scams, and how we can guard against it. I do not have any firm thoughts on how to do this, except to say that we should stay vigilant.

A good resource on this? Frank Abegnale’s book Scam Me If You Can: Simple Strategies to Outsmart Today’s Rip-Off Artists.

This book, published in 2019, so well ahead of both the pandemic and the AI trend, is by the scammer turned FBI agent who wrote the autobiographical Catch Me If You Can (the book is way better than the movie!), not only covers the seemingly endless variation of ways that fraudsters try to cheat money out of people. It also covers the psychological tricks that criminals use to get people to trust them, or feel a sense of urgency. 

I first read this book early in 2020, before all the pandemic news, but one quote I wrote down from is especially helpful during this time:  

“I believe we have to get back to forming strong communities where people know and look out for one another. A lot of fraud happens in isolation and online. If we look up from our electronic devices and limit our online time to specific tasks and goals, we will vie less prone to scammers online. We’ll also feel happier and less isolated.”

What I wrote many months ago still is true, so no need for me to write it in a different way. Here it is, from “Expect to be Scammed.”

So, what’s the moral of this story? And the title, “Expect to Be Scammed”? Should we be constantly vigilant and expecting to be cheated at every moment? Looking over our shoulder, living in fear, and constantly worried about becoming a victim?

No. But we can be extra cautious when it comes to our financial lives. We can also begin to be relatively transparent about our finances with several trusted people in our lives.

“Expect to be scammed” means being realistic about the existence of bad actors in the world, who come up with sophisticated and devious ways to prey upon people. “Expect to be scammed” means we should practice excellent online “hygiene” when it comes to our financial, and indeed, our online lives in general.

Interesting/Notable

Marriage Article of the Week—How I Plan My Weekends: Laura Vanderkam

This may not seem like a “marriage article of the week” but it describes some of the the division of labor that goes on in a family, and how to make fun and good things happen for a family.

I thought this was a great paragraph that outlines why it’s good to “plan ahead” for group physical activity—so that inertia won’t take over:

I also see that all family members are free on Sunday afternoon from about mid-afternoon to evening. As the older children won’t actually have done much on Sunday, I feel like we could make a reasonable case for a family walk or bike ride during this time. The weather should be good. If everyone gets their heads around this beforehand, it will probably happen. If we wait until Sunday afternoon to try to decide to do something, inertia will take over and there will be a lot of screen time instead.

An Action Item: Plan Your Weekend

In the Laura Vanderkam school of thought, planning your weekend makes it more likely that you will do things you want, and not just what you need to do. You’ll be glad that you did!

Also, did you notice that I was ahead of time management guru Laura Vanderkam? (Not really, because I have read her for years and absorbed a lot of her ideas!). But still, remember that I had a section of The Mom Weekly for the first year and a half or so: “What Are You Doing This Weekend?”

Here are the questions again, and I will try to include these episodically, but not often enough so we get too used to them.

What are you doing this weekend?

So, now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing:

*faith—when are you going to Mass?

*friends—what friends will you see or connect with?

*food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit?

*fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally).