The Mom Weekly Volume 30: February 20, 2024
Notes:
I know you know, but here is an explainer of what “from the vault” means.
Once again, I barely changed a thing from what I wrote 16 years ago, even though I might write it differently today. (And honestly: consider writing a private online journal, because you will be so glad someday to read and remember what younger you thought and felt).
To illustrate this post, I searched for “chocolate” in my photos, and found many 2017 photos (I suspect taken by a kid who shall remain nameless) of this skillet cookie that we had at a restaurant. That’s what started us on a journey to find the best-ever recipe for skillet cookies. I’ll share that recipe after Lent.
As a 2024 tl;dr of this post, I would say:
Sometimes your Lent is your life, and just living it is enough. Your awareness of it during prayer and during the season of Lent is what helps you live the season well.
And sometimes Lent is something you “do,” and picking things to do or give up can be the best way to live Lent, and will be the most spiritually fruitful and strengthening.
What is most difficult? Knowing which kind of Lent you are in, and praying, acting, and being accordingly.
It’s also important to realize that we don’t “do” or “live” things on our own, but with the grace of God and his Love for us. We are never alone, and we are so loved by Him.
Remember how much I love you,
Mom
The Lent You Are Given (2007)
Last year before Lent, I had such great plans for ascetical practices and penances, and then just before Lent my father was hospitalized. I spent most of the beginning of Lent back at my parents’ house with other siblings. It began a long process and a long, hard year for our family. I vividly remember Ash Wednesday morning; I sat at my father’s hospital bedside, and two of my sisters and I prayed morning prayer as my father drifted in and out of consciousness.
One of the Ash Wednesday psalms, as my sister reminded me this year, is Psalm 90, part of which seemed and continues to seem a little too close to home:
All our days pass away in your anger.
Our life is over like a sigh.
Our span is seventy years
or eighty for those who are strong.
And most of these are emptiness and pain.
They pass swiftly and we are gone.
Who understands the power of your anger
and fears the strength of your fury?
Make us know the shortness of our life
That we may gain wisdom of heart.
Pretty much all of those wonderful resolutions and penances to make me holier went out the window before Lent even began. And yet Lent 2006 was undoubtedly more spiritually fruitful and maturing than any other in my life. I know that my choice of sacrifices and penances are not as important as the ones that come to me unasked.
Still, I have to admit that I like to be in charge of Lent. It feels good to give up my beloved dark chocolate or work diligently on a particular virtue, instead of humbly accepting what did come to me and my family.
And so the Lent I was given was much more fruitful than any Lent I could devise, and could have been more so had I been more able to accept it willingly. When I say given I don’t mean, of course, that God directly gave me or anyone near me trials, but that suffering is a part of life. The world is broken. We are all broken, by the effects of original sin, and suffering is the result.
God allows it because of our freedom, and allows it to help us grow in love, and grace, and wisdom, if we freely choose to allow it.
Lent 2007 has begun with more of my agenda. I already miss dark chocolate (though ate a bit of it today to celebrate the Resurrection), for instance. But this year, I also feel more open to accepting the Lent that is given to me, rather than my perfect idea of a holy Lent. Or rather, I want to be accepting of the Lent that is given me, and I pray more for the grace to accept and embrace it.
This year, I see in others the Lent they are given. A dear friend lost an unborn baby just a few weeks ago. Family members and friends are struggling with various crosses. The Lent they are given, we are given, is offered as a gift, even amid the loss, tears and suffering.
Interesting/notable:
Do I need spiritual direction or a therapist? The Recovering Catholic
The Recovering Catholic is one of the Substacks that I pay for, because I want to be intentional about supporting people doing good work. I didn’t share this interview with a Catholic therapist before because I thought it was behind a paywall, but it turns out nearly all of the interview is free for everyone, so check it out.
If you are daunted by listening to a one hour plus interview, try going to about the 35:00 mark and listen for about 5-10 minutes about recognizing our emotions and being able to “sit” with them. So much substantial and meaningful content here.
An Action Item: Pray the Prayer of Saint Ephrem
I’m going to include this here, again, because Dad keeps reminding me how this ancient prayer shows we need to rely on God, not on ourselves “doing.”
What are you doing this weekend?
So, now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing:
*faith—when are you going to Mass?
*friends—what friends will you see or connect with?
*food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit?
*fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally).