Category: From the Vault

  • Money+Literature: “Do You Ever Think What Money Is?”

    Money+Literature: “Do You Ever Think What Money Is?”

    The Mom Weekly Volume 154: July 21, 2026

    You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the home page here.

    Notes:

    I realized kind of late that I didn’t have something queued up for this week. And then I realized that I have a LOT of writing in various places.

    A couple of years ago, for instance, I had written a few posts about money and literature, with the intention of making them into a Substack. That Substack didn’t happen, but I did start a Substack on points and miles, and please subscribe to it if you have not yet done so.

    When I remembered them, I found the one I’m sharing today. I know it is really long, but it is very worthwhile!

    Anthony Trollope is a very prolific 19th century author, and sometimes he does write too long, but he had good things to say! I hope you will indulge both the lengthy quote and my thoughts on it.

    Remember how much I love you (and 19th century English literature),

    Mom

    Money+Literature: “Do You Ever Think What Money Is?” (From the —recent— Vault)

    The Duke of Omniun schools his son, and us, on how to be worthy in obtaining and spending money.

    Gerald told his story, standing bolt upright, and looking his father full in the face as he told it. “You lost three thousand four hundred pounds at one sitting to Lord Percival—at cards!”

    …..

    How old are you?”

    “I am just twenty-one.”

    “You are beginning the world well, Gerald! What is the engagement which Silverbridge has made with Lord Percival?”

    “To pay him the money at the end of next month.”

    “What had Silverbridge to do with it?”

    “Nothing, sir. I wrote to Silverbridge because I didn’t know what to do. I knew he would stand to me.”

    “Who is to stand to either of you if you go on thus I do not know.”

    To this Gerald of course made no reply, but an idea came across his mind that he knew who would stand both to himself and his brother.

    “How did Silverbridge mean to get the money?”

    “He said he would ask you. But I thought that I ought to tell you.”

    “Is that all?”

    “All what, sir?”

    “Are there other debts?” To this Gerald made no reply. “Other gambling debts.”

    “No, sir;—not a shilling of that kind. I have never played before.”

    “Does it ever occur to you that going on at that rate you may very soon lose all the fortune that will ever come to you? You were not yet of age and you lost three thousand four hundred pounds at cards to a man whom you probably knew to be a professed gambler!” 

    The Duke seemed to wait for a reply, but poor Gerald had not a word to say.

    “Can you explain to me what benefit you proposed to yourself when you played for such stakes as that?”

    “I hoped to win back what I had lost.”

    Facilis descensus Averni!” said the Duke, shaking his head. “Noctes atque dies patet atri janua Ditis.”

    No doubt, he thought, that as his son was at Oxford, admonitions in Latin would serve him better than in his native tongue. But Gerald, when he heard the grand hexameter rolled out in his father’s grandest tone, entertained a comfortable feeling that the worst of the interview was over. 

    “Win back what you had lost! Do you think that that is the common fortune of young gamblers when they fall among those who are more experienced than themselves?”

    “One goes on, sir, without reflecting.”

    “Go on without reflecting! Yes; and where to? where to? Oh Gerald, where to? Whither will such progress without reflection take you?”

    “He means—to the devil,” the lad said inwardly to himself, without moving his lips.

    “There is but one goal for such going on as that. I can pay three thousand four hundred pounds for you certainly. I think it hard that I should have to do so; but I can do it,—and I will do it.”

    “Thank you, sir,” murmured Gerald.

    “But how can I wash your young mind clean from the foul stain which has already defiled it? Why did you sit down to play? Was it to win the money which these men had in their pockets?”

    “Not particularly.”

    “It cannot be that a rational being should consent to risk the money he has himself,—to risk even the money which he has not himself,—without a desire to win that which as yet belongs to his opponents. You desired to win.”

    “I suppose I did hope to win.”

    “And why? Why did you want to extract their property from their pockets, and to put it into your own? That the footpad on the road should have such desire when, with his pistol, he stops the traveller on his journey we all understand. And we know what we think of the footpad,—and what we do to him. He is a poor creature, who from his youth upwards has had no good thing done for him, uneducated, an outcast, whom we should pity more than we despise him. We take him as a pest which we cannot endure, and lock him up where he can harm us no more. On my word, Gerald, I think that the so-called gentleman who sits down with the deliberate intention of extracting money from the pockets of his antagonists, who lays out for himself that way of repairing the shortcomings of fortune, who looks to that resource as an aid to his means,—is worse, much worse, than the public robber!

    He is meaner, more cowardly, and has I think in his bosom less of the feelings of an honest man. And he probably has been educated,—as you have been. He calls himself a gentleman. He should know black from white. It is considered terrible to cheat at cards.”

    “There was nothing of that, sir.”

    “The man who plays and cheats has fallen low indeed.”

    “I understand that, sir.”

    ”“He who plays that he may make an income, but does not cheat, has fallen nearly as low. Do you ever think what money is?”

    The Duke paused so long, collecting his own thoughts and thinking of his own words, that Gerald found himself obliged to answer.

    “Cheques, and sovereigns, and bank-notes,” he replied with much hesitation.

    “Money is the reward of labour,” said the Duke, “or rather, in the shape it reaches you, it is your representation of that reward. You may earn it yourself, or, as is, I am afraid, more likely to be the case with you, you may possess it honestly as prepared for you by the labour of others who have stored it up for you. But it is a commodity of which you are bound to see that the source is not only clean but noble.

    …..

    “There is nothing so comfortable as money,—but nothing so defiling if it be come by unworthily; nothing so comfortable, but nothing so noxious if the mind be allowed to dwell upon it constantly. If a man have enough, let him spend it freely. If he wants it, let him earn it honestly. Let him do something for it, so that the man who pays it to him may get its value. But to think that it may be got by gambling, to hope to live after that fashion, to sit down with your fingers almost in your neighbour’s pockets, with your eye on his purse, trusting that you may know better than he some studied calculations as to the pips concealed in your hands, praying to the only god you worship that some special card may be vouchsafed to you,—that I say is to have left far, far behind you, all nobility, all gentleness, all manhood!

    Write me down Lord Percival’s address and I will send him the money.”

    Then the Duke wrote a cheque for the money claimed and sent it with a note, as follows:—

    The Duke of Omnium presents his compliments to Lord Percival. The Duke has been informed by Lord Gerald Palliser that Lord Percival has won at cards from him the sum of three thousand four hundred pounds. The Duke now encloses a cheque for that amount, and requests that the document which Lord Percival holds from Lord Silverbridge as security for the amount, may be returned to Lord Gerald.

    Let the noble gambler have his prey. He was little solicitous about that. If he could only so operate on the mind of this son,—so operate on the minds of both his sons, as to make them see the foolishness of folly, the ugliness of what is mean, the squalor and dirt of ignoble pursuits, then he could easily pardon past faults. If it were half his wealth, what would it signify if he could teach his children to accept those lessons without which no man can live as a gentleman, let his rank be the highest known, let his wealth be as the sands, his fashion unrivalled?

    —Anthony Trollope, The Duke’s Children, Chapter 65

    If I could get away with reproducing entire chapters of some of the great novels, I promise you I would do it. In a heartbeat. There is so much context and information in the entire chapters, of entire novels, that give us good advice centuries after they were written.

    But long as today’s passage is, it is only a part of this chapter of Anthony Trollope’s 1879 novel The Duke’s Children.

    The Duke’s Children is the final novel in the six-book Palliser series, following the Palliser family and friends through many decades. All of the Palliser novels are worth reading and enjoying! The audio versions are delightful.

    Satisfying as it would be to me, I’m not going to spend time explaining or expounding on 18th and 19th century entail, or inheritance law, or how the monetary system worked (a particular area of concern for the Duke when he was Chancellor of the Exchequer in a prior Palliser novel).

    What I most want to convey to you, dear reader, in is how the chosen passages reach through the centuries and give us solid money (and often life) advice.

    So here’s some context on this quote:

    The Duke of Omnium is a widower, shepherding his three children into young adulthood. Th elder son, “Silverbridge,” has in the past had his own money troubles, and he’s helped out his younger brother, Gerald, by pledging to pay a debt Gerald made by gambling foolishly.

    But when he goes home, Gerald decides to do the manly thing and tell his father straight out about the debt. This long exchange is only part of this wonderful chapter! I encourage you to look it up to see how Gerald reports on this conversation in a letter to Silverbridge.

    Some context/translation:

    Facilis descensus Averni!  Noctes atque dies patet atri janua Ditis.

    = “The descent to hell is easy. The gates of hell are open night and day.”

    This is a quote from Virgil’s Aeneid.

    Money Takeaway

    The Duke tells Gerald, and us: 

    “There is nothing so comfortable as money,—but nothing so defiling if it be come by unworthily; nothing so comfortable, but nothing so noxious if the mind be allowed to dwell upon it constantly. If a man have enough, let him spend it freely. If he wants it, let him earn it honestly. Let him do something for it, so that the man who pays it to him may get its value.”

    It’s pretty self-explanatory. 

    —Money can and should make us comfortable, but it’s more of a burden if we come by it “unworthily” such as in gambling. 

    —Dwelling too much on money is bad for your mind and your soul.

    —If you have money to spend, spend it. If you don’t, earn it honestly.

    —Gambling is an ignoble way to come by money, only a few steps better than being a “footpad” (someone who mugs people on foot).

    Questions for Reflection

    —Do you think about money too much, or not enough?

    —“There is nothing so comfortable as money.” True or not in your life?

    —Do you agree with the duke’s assessment that gambling is bad?

  • Kristin Lavransdatter: A Review of Sorts … (From the Vault, 2010)

    Kristin Lavransdatter: A Review of Sorts … (From the Vault, 2010)

    The Mom Weekly Volume 153: July 14, 2026

    You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the home page here. https://themomweekly.com/

    Notes:

    Once again, younger me does not disappoint.

    When I saw the news article that I share in the “Interesting/Notable” section about Sigrid Undset being considered for canonization, I thought, “Didn’t I write about Kristin Lavransdatter at some point?” I had first read it in in the 1990s, and re-read several times. I don’t think I’m up for a re-read at the moment, but it’s a true classic. I highly recommend.

    I’m also really proud of what I wrote.

    Remember how much I love you,

    Mom

    Kristin Lavransdatter: A Review of Sorts… (From the Vault, 2010)

    Some time back, I visited a website by a Catholic convert that I respect highly and consider spiritually mature, and saw some of her “recommended” blog posts from other authors. 

    So I was shocked when I found myself disagreeing with just about everything I read on one post she enthusiastically recommended. The blog was about a mom and her desire to live a simple life, clearly an admirable goal. I was especially saddened by this recommended blogger’s frustration at her husband for not agreeing to her more dramatic efforts.

    I don’t want to get too specific about the blog. I don’t know IRL (in real life) personally either the website author, or the author of the blog I was shocked to see her recommend. But as I read around a little on the blog I very much disagreed with, I found myself thinking, “She is like that nun from Kristin Lavransdatter.” 

    If you don’t know Kristin Lavransdatter, it is a three-volume novel by Nobel prize-winner Sigrid Undset, first published in the 1920s and never out of print, about the life of the passionate Kristin and her 14th century Norway, medieval and richly Catholic. I have the older version from when I first read Kristin, but Tiina Nunnally’s newer translation is luminous, and I’m glad to own both.  

    My old vintage copy of Kristin Lavransdatter, next to the newer translation.

    In the novel, Sister Cecilia, a nun in the convent where Kristin goes to stay for a time, one night at dinner begins to grovel before the other sisters and confess that she has done things out of arrogance, not out of love of God:

    She had served her sisters with arrogance, she had drunk vanity from her water goblet, and she had spread her bare bread thick with conceit while the sisters drank ale and ate butter on their bread.

    For punishment, the abbess proclaims that the sister must sit in her (the abbess’) chair for eight days, during which time the other sisters will show her respect

    “that you will grow sated from the tribute of sinful people.  Then you must judge whether this is worth so much struggle, and decide either to live by the rules as the rest of us do or to continue the trials that no one demands of you.  Then you can contemplate whether all the things that you say you do now so that we might look up to you, henceforward you will do out of love of God and so that He might look upon you with mercy.”

    After this punishment during which she “wept as if she were being beaten,” she has a new spirit: 

    “She continued to live in almost the same manner as before, but she would blush like a bride if anyone looked at her, whether she was sweeping the floor or walking alone to church.”

    Now, even as I write, I am surprised to see how I am comparing or even judging a real person with this character.  My friends and family, I hope, know me as someone who is definitely not a “judger.”  

    I’ve been known to say, “You don’t know that person’s story, even if they tell you.”  (This I freely lift from the Chronicles of Narnia, where Aslan tells several characters this very thing).  And it sounds so much like I am judging this blogger’s motives and spiritual life.

    But as a literature lover and reader, I don’t think I’m the only one who finds myself comparing certain situations, especially when they are far removed from me, to characters in novels.  And I couldn’t help thinking the blogger could benefit from being “punished” by an abbess. 

    So I’ve promoted myself to abbess and handed down this punishment:  this unnamed blogger shall use the money she is saving by trying to live a simple life not to give to the poor or some other noble goal, but to lavish on her husband and herself for a time—expensive dinners out, fancy dinners at home, babysitting so they can go see the latest frivolous goofy movie, a spa treatment or two, even– and see if that doesn’t help the situation, both in her family and in her own heart.

    As Catholics, we are so fortunate to have the liturgical seasons–times of fasting and times of feasting–to balance our human selves that might tend toward one extreme or another.  It’s not always Lent, and it’s not always Eastertide.   We can do more penance than the church prescribes, but primarily with the help of careful and wise spiritual direction. 

    There’s a famous story about St. Francis about a time when his disciples were arguing about whether it was proper to eat meat on Christmas Day—that year it fell on a Friday.  And Francis, took the raw meat and dragged it along the walls, saying, “It’s Christmas Day; even the walls should eat meat!”

    I’m not sure if this post qualifies as a “review” of Kristin Lavransdatter, except to say that the book is such a part of my life’s fabric that I fairly often find myself comparing a situation in the novel to one in real life.  If you tackle this three-volume novel, I think you’ll find it well worth the effort, both for reading reasons and for its spiritual insights.

    Interesting/Notable:

    Oslo bishop to open Sigrid Undset canonization cause— The Pillar

    ‘She stood firm in the Catholic faith, challenged Nazism, and strove for Norwegian freedom’.

  • Superchick Therapy (From the Vault, 2008)

    Superchick Therapy (From the Vault, 2008)

    The Mom Weekly Volume 150: June 23, 2026 

    You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the home page here.

    Notes: 

    Once again, younger me comes through with a good reflection. 

    Note that at the time I wrote this, Spotify didn’t exist, but now people can make Spotify playlists (or having Spotify make them for you, which I don’t tend to love) even faster than making them in iTunes.

    Remember how much I love you, 

    Mom

    Superchick Therapy (From the Vault, 2008)

    Several months ago, I picked up a greatest hits CD of a relatively obscure British band from the 1980s that I used to love in my cool college days (and I had put on many “party tapes” that I painstakingly made on an actual tape recorder of different songs I liked from different artists. How amazing to have Itunes and to make a playlist as long as you want in about 2 minutes).

    I finally loaded it only iTunes and my iPod, and on a walk/jog several weeks ago I decided to go back in time and listen to it. I put on the first song, that had a pretty peppy beat, because I thought that would help me “jog” instead of walk. And then I realized the words were just so icky. That song was about something not good at all. Next song–also a really bad theme. I kept “fwd”ing through the songs until I got to the end, and couldn’t find a single one that had any positive spin.

    I hate to be too depressing or ‘dramatique” about it, but it was just brokenness from beginning to end. And I thought to myself–now why did I ever like this band? Why was I filling up my head with all these depressing sad themes, even with a good beat and great musicians? I haven’t put the name of the band on here because some of the songs are still going through my head, and really bringing me down, and I don’t want that to happen to others of “my generation.” Sort of like humming the theme song from “Gilligan’s Island” and then everyone is singing it for weeks. Oops, sorry.

    So I turned it off (and deleted it from iTunes just as soon as I got home), and turned up some good old Superchick. I tell Sir that I have been doing Superchick therapy. I can’t think of one of their songs that is not awesome, uplifting in a really clever way, and helps me jog a little faster. Plus, talk about great beats and great music.

    And for me there is a song for every occasion, even in my stage of life (the bandmates are 20somethings, from what I can tell). I so, so wish there had been Superchick for the sorry 18-19 year old I was back in the day.

    Feeling like you’ve made a lot of mistakes lately, need to get to confession and get on with life? Listen to “Get Up.”

    “If I get up I might fall back down again, so let’s get up, come on …

    If I get up I might fall back down again, we get up anyway”

    Having a bad hair/life day? Listen to “One and Lonely.”

    Sometimes I have good days and it’s good to be me,

    Sometimes I get the best of insecurity

    And it’s quite alright to be the one and only

    But today I feel like the one and lonely..”

    Frustrated with your spouse? (not that this ever happens at our house :-), um, yeah it does) Listen to “Na Na” (and be sure to get to the end; not just the lines):

    “We’ve never had this conversation, or should I be calling it a condemnation, ’cause you’re not listening to me…Na, na, na,…

    or

    I feel like the teacher from “Charlie Brown,” ’cause all you hear is that “wa, wa” sound….”

    Need inspiration to let go of the past or of what others say about you? Try “Let it Be”

    “So what do I do with this backpack full of bricks, sticks and stones and words that stuck to me like ticks?

    Let it go, let it be, brick by brick we can be free of all the words we say til we were our own enemies,

    Let it go, let it be, brick by brick we can believe in the person God intended us to be..Let it be.”

    Already my lovely children can sing many of the words to these songs, and I am proud to be indoctrinating them in a positive outlook on life, even amid struggles.

    I want my children humming these songs and words and bringing them to mind when they’re older. And I want to be singing them, too, when I’m older.

    Interesting/Notable:

    How Catholics influenced AA—and how AA influences Catholics — The Pillar

  • People Want to Help (Replay, September 2024)

    People Want to Help (Replay, September 2024)

    The Mom Weekly Volume 146: May 26, 2026

    You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the home page here.

    Notes

    I had the opportunity to help someone in a very small way on a few different occasions the past few weeks. It was doing something I enjoy for an hour or two, two times, and the happiness that I felt afterwards was all out of proportion to the help that I provided. So I started to write a post called “People Want to Help.” Before I got too far, I thought, wait, did I write about this already? 

    And sure enough I had—about a year and a half ago. But I honestly think that it is important enough to revisit. So this week is a “Replay” of that essay–kind of like “From the Vault”, but more recent. 🙂

    Remember how much I love you,

    Mom

    People Want to Help (Replay, September 2024)

    As I have mentioned before, I keep a list of potential “headlines” for future Weeklies, and turn to them when I have my “writing time” and can devote some effort to this.

    Today’s headline—People Want to Help—didn’t have anything written or any notes. But you may remember me saying this adage from time to time.

    It can be a natural inclination for most people—in different situations—to avoid asking for help. We don’t want to be any trouble, or we do not want to bother people. We’d rather figure something out ourselves than request assistance.

    But the research shows that far from making people resent us, people who are the “helpers” feel more positive about themselves, and feel more positive about the person being helped.

    Helping people makes people feel better,” the researcher said. Here’s a write-up in the NY Times (gift link).

    It can be awkward to ask for help, or to reach out to someone, depending on the situation. But knowing that it can brighten someone’s day, why not give it a try?

    The researchers found that even reaching out to a friend with a text saying “hi” can mean a lot. I encourage you to try it, once a day or more, if possible! Consider this your bonus “action item” if you’d like!

    Now, this doesn’t always work. For instance, the day that I’m writing the first draft of this happened to be one of the last days to swim at our outdoor pool this season. When I arrived, there were no empty lanes; even the non-laned part of the pool had several swimmers.

    So, as we are supposed to do, I asked a swimmer if I could share the lane with her. She was not happy to help, let’s just put it that way! She was downright grumpy about it, but in the end, she did share, as she only had a lap or two to go. I hope that she felt more positive about the situation by the time she finished swimming. We can only hope. 

    Just as I was finishing my laps (grumpy swimmer had already finished her laps and left), I could see a man about to join the person in the lane next to me. I called over, “This is my last lap!” So he would know he had a lane to himself. He was delighted. And it gave me a little boost of happiness!

    So, this is your gentle reminder to ask for help (and say thank you!) for something small in the next few days. Ask someone to hold the door for you if you’re holding some books or a coffee. Ask a friend (or your Mom, hint, hint) for advice about something. Text a friend just to say hi (and make a goal for once a week or more!)

    Action Item: Ask for Help

    This week, consider asking someone for help. It could be at the grocery store, where you might need something on a higher shelf (raising my hand here!). Or it could be asking someone to pray for you.

    Interesting/Notable

    Last week, I I forgot to share links to features about the “Dominican Sisters Open Mic” podcast. So here they are:

    Don’t Call Them Nuns. They’re Podcasters—Ny Times Gift Link

    Meet the Viral Catholic Nuns Inspiring a New Generation — The Today Show

    Finally, the Dominican sisters also have a “Manners Monday” podcast. I don’t want to put a YouTube link because sometimes that affects the delivery of the email, but if you google “Dominican Sisters Manners Monday—“Why and How to Have a Hobby”. So cute).

  • “Mom, What You Need is a Chardonnay”

    “Mom, What You Need is a Chardonnay”

    The Mom Weekly Volume 139: April 7, 2026 

    You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the home page here. https://themomweekly.com/

    Notes: 

    Happy Easter! I hope we are all celebrating, not just the multiple birthdays and half -birthdays this week, but also the Easter Octave and getting to enjoy the beginning of Easter season.

    I had fun writing this week. The title is one of my favorite family lines. It is a gift and a blessing that we have humorous things and sayings in common in our family. Despite being annoyed with each other from time to time, we do get along and have some great shared memories. Never forget that!

    Remember how much I love you (whether you are serving as my chauffeur or not),

    Mom

    Mom, What You Need is a Chardonnay

    I thought about titling this, “Kids say the darnedest things,” but the finalist  seems more apropos.

    Parents around the world love to remember the funny ways that kids say things when they are younger, whether it’s saying, “wylo” instead of “water”, “lellow” instead of “yellow,” etc.

    I remember my Mom telling me how much she enjoyed when I, as a young child, said, “Pasketti” instead of “Spaghetti.” And I wish I could still say “Pasketti,” but once you know how to say something the right way, you can’t really go back.

    [Digression: “The kid word” is different than mispronouncing things, which to me is a sign of intelligence and being well-read, because you often don’t know how a thing is pronounced. But it can also be funny. I can still recall my oldest sister laughing almost so she couldn’t catch her breath when I, as a COLLEGE STUDENT, said, “deb-a-clee” for “debacle.” I do really laugh along because, what was I thinking? I was thinking I read a lot and didn’t really hear things pronounced aloud.]

    But children also say the wrong word or phrases for things, like little junior Mrs. Maloprops, and that can be absolutely wonderful way to have a family funny saying.

    One of the best ones we have? “Mom, What you need is a chardonnay.” 

    Before you kids could drive (and reliably drive all of us around), I used to say, “You kids have it made, because someone drives you around and you can read as much as you want. I can’t wait until you can drive so you can drive me around and I can sit and read.” 

    Little did I know that it would be years after you actually could drive that I would be comfortable enough reading or not gripping onto the door and periodically saying, “Slow down!” etc.,  like my Mom did when anyone drove her around. I inherited that unfortunate proclivity, and I’ve worked hard to not be that vocal of a passenger. Also, you kids all drive well “now”, so I don’t mind being a passenger, and I truly enjoy getting to read in the car when road conditions permit. 

    Anyway, the punchline to this is: One time, as we were getting into the car for yet another drive, I was saying my “you kids ….” speech, when my wonderful youngest child said, “Mom, what you need is a chardonnay.” And I said, “You know what? You’re right! I need a chardonnay.”

    Obviously, said child meant to say I could benefit from a chauffeur, I need a chauffeur. I would dearly love a chauffeur, way more than a chardonnay, because I don’t drink much white wine, and I’d probably rather have a chocolate bar than a glass of wine.

    Interesting/Notable:

    A Dublin Pub Crawl, but Hold the Booze—(NY Times Gift Link)

    This is appropriate for our Ireland travelers this week!

  • Eleazar’s Commonplace Book, or Shine Like Lights, Part 3 (From the Vault, 2016)

    Eleazar’s Commonplace Book, or Shine Like Lights, Part 3 (From the Vault, 2016)

    The Mom Weekly Volume 138: March 31, 2026 

    You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the home page here.

    Notes: 

    Here is the third and final installment of the notes of my 2016 talk. I’ve enjoyed getting to revisit it.

    I also wanted to share randomly that Dad & I watched on YouTube a modern production of “The Importance of Being Earnest.” We didn’t love everything about the production, but the play itself is very sparkling and has a lot of funny lines. “No cucumbers at the market today … not even for ready money.”

    You really have to read or watch it. The 2002 movie with Colin Firth is available to stream for free on Pluto TV . And the play itself (subtitled “A Trivial Comedy  for Serious People” is on Project Gutenberg.

    Here’s a great quote from Lady Bracknell, one of the formidable characters. It is timely for us! 🙂


    “To speak frankly, I am not in favour of long engagements. They give people the opportunity of finding out each other’s character before marriage, which I think is never advisable.”

    Remember how much I love you,

    Mom

    Eleazar’s Commonplace Book, or Shine Like Lights, Part 3 (From the Vault, 2016)

    [Much of the remainder of this is quotes from “Eleazar’s Commonplace Book” of quotes to inspire reflection.]

    MAKE SPACE FOR PRAYER

    I’m going to quote for you from the not-very-well-known Mistmantle series. The author, MI McAllister, writes on her website, “I think, if you like Narnia, you’ll like Mistmantle.” Truer words never spoken. At first I wrote in a review that it was a noble and worthy successor to Redwall, but I think it is far better.

    Mistmantle is similar and different from Narnia in a lot of ways—there are talking animals, but no people. But it’s suffused with Christian spirituality and nobility that just makes you feel better for having read it.

    From book 2, Urchin and the Heartstone:

    Alone all day, Juniper would remember the animals and places he loved, and hold them in his own heart before the great Heart that made them. He was learning to find quietness inside himself. He was learning to pray.

    QUESTION: As moms, we can spend a lot of time alone, even among small children. How have you made time for learning to pray?

    PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR PERSONALITY

    The next book I’m going to share is one of my (and my family’s) all-time favorites, and one I thoroughly enjoyed reading aloud to my kids when they were little. Most of us have read it multiple times, and the audiobook is unparalleled.  It’s free on Kindle since it’s in the public domain, so I encourage you to download and read.

    Understood Betsy by Dorothy Canfield Fisher.

    The answer to that question is that she didn’t do it because Cousin Ann was Cousin Ann. And there’s more in that than you think! In fact, there is a mystery in it that nobody has ever solved, not even the greatest scientists and philosophers, although, like all scientists and philosophers, they think they have gone a long way toward explaining something they don’t understand by calling it a long name. The long name is “personality,” and what it means nobody knows, but it is perhaps the very most important thing in the world for all that. And yet we know only one or two things about it. We know that anybody’s personality is made up of the sum total of all the actions and thoughts and desires of his life. And we know that though there aren’t any words or any figures in any language to set down that sum total accurately, still it is one of the first things that everybody knows about anybody else. And that is really all we know! 

    So I can’t tell you why Elizabeth Ann did not go back and cry and sob and say she couldn’t and she wouldn’t and she couldn’t, as she would certainly have done at Aunt Harriet’s. You remember that I could not even tell you why it was that, as the little fatherless and motherless girl lay in bed looking at Aunt Abigail’s old face, she should feel so comforted and protected that she must needs break out crying. No, all I can say is that it was because Aunt Abigail was Aunt Abigail. But perhaps it may occur to you that it’s rather a good idea to keep a sharp eye on your “personality,” whatever that is! It might be very handy, you know, to have a personality like Cousin Ann’s which sent Elizabeth Ann’s feet down the path; or perhaps you would prefer one like Aunt Abigail’s. Well, take your choice.

    QUESTION: What DO you want your personality to be?  How are you working on that?

    MUSTER YOUR WITS

    Emily of Deep Valley by Maud Hart Lovelace

    Depression settled down upon her, and although she tried to brush it away it thickened like a fog. “Why, the kids will be home for Thanksgiving! That will be here in no time. I mustn’t get this way,” she thought. But she felt lonely and deserted and futile. “A mood like this has to be fought. It’s like an enemy with a gun,” she told herself. But she couldn’t seem to find a gun with which to fight.

    Later, Emily learns to “muster her wits” and she starts a reading group, and goes out to dances, and back to her high school.

    She discovers this quote in Shakespeare

    “Muster your wits: stand in your own defense.” She had no idea in what sense he had used it, but it seemed to be a message aimed directly at her.  Muster your wits: stand in your own defense,” she kept repeating to herself on the long walk home. After dinner she sat down in her rocker, looked out at the snow and proceeded to muster her wits. “I’m going to fill my winter and I’m going to fill it with something worth while,” she resolved.

    QUESTION:  How Can you Muster Your Wits?  What are your Resources for Doing that?

    —friends,faith, outside help, social church

    EMBRACE YOUR GOOFY HOBBIES

    This quote from C.S. Lewis’ The Screwtape Letters illustrates how important it is for us to have things that we like “just because” and to rejoice in them:

    The deepest likings and impulses of any man are the raw material, the starting-point, with which the Enemy has furnished him. To get him away from those is therefore always a point gained; even in things indifferent it is always desirable to substitute the standards of the World, or convention, or fashion, for a human’s own real likings and dislikings. I myself would carry this very far. I would make it a rule to eradicate from my patient any strong personal taste which is not actually a sin, even if it is something quite trivial such as a fondness for county cricket or collecting stamps or drinking cocoa. Such things, I grant you, have nothing of virtue in them; but there is a sort of innocence and humility and self-forgetfulness about them which I distrust. The man who truly and disinterestedly enjoys any one thing in the world, for its own sake, and without caring two-pence what other people say about it, is by that very fact forearmed against some of our subtlest modes of attack. You should always try to make the patient abandon the people or food or books he really likes in favour of the ‘best’ people, the ‘right’ food, the ‘important’ books. I have known a human defended from strong temptations to social ambition by a still stronger taste for tripe and onions.

    QUESTION: What is Your Tripe & Onions?

    BE A POLLYANNA

    Eleanor Porter’s Pollyanna is actually a classic many people misunderstand. Being a “Pollyanna” today has the connotation of being willfully unaware of what is true, and only thinking “positive thoughts.” (Good vibes only). 

    Instead, the novel really shows how Pollyanna fully understanding her tough situation as an orphan, etc., still uses the example and teaching of her (now dead) father to find good in everything she can, while still acknowledging reality. At one part, the town minister, who has been fire-and-brimstone until Pollyanna encounters him, finds this quote and decides to change his tune (and the whole town benefits): 

    What men and women need is encouragement. Their natural resisting powers should be strengthened, not weakened…. Instead of always harping on a man’s faults, tell him of his virtues. Try to pull him out of his rut of bad habits. Hold up to him his better self, his REAL self that can dare and do and win out!… The influence of a beautiful, helpful, hopeful character is contagious, and may revolutionize a whole town…. People radiate what is in their minds and in their hearts. If a man feels kindly and obliging, his neighbors will feel that way, too, before long. But if he scolds and scowls and criticizes—his neighbors will return scowl for scowl, and add interest!… When you look for the bad, expecting it, you will get it.

    QUESTION:  How can you be a Pollyanna?  How can you encourage?

    AIR YOUR ROOMS

    Rumor Godden

    In This house of Brede

    The Story of Holly & Ivy

    writing is really lush India 

    autobiography

    There is an Indian proverb that says that everyone is a house with four rooms, a physical, a mental, an emotional, and a spiritual . Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time but unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person.

    How can you air out those four rooms each day, or even each week? What can you do to be well-rounded?

    RESOLUTION:  

    Now is time for you to make a resolution about doing things and making time for things that energize you.

    ———

    Here is one tiny example:  When I climb into bed at night, and after I say night prayer (if we haven’t done it as a family), I open up the NY Times Crossword app. The MINI. 

    I don’t think to myself, well, I guess I have to do the Mini. I think, “Ah, I’ve been so busy and done so much today, I can finally fall asleep, but first, I get to take a minute or two to do the MINI, and if I’m still awake enough, I might try the big crossword.” I can’t tell you how restorative it is, in a tiny way.

    (2026 notes: my current evening routine includes much more than Mini. This was before Wordle, Connections, the LinkedIn games, and all the other fun games many of us now play).

    What are other pursuits like that for me?

    1. Daily Mass when I can get there. When kids were babies, I could go every day. When they got bigger, it went down to once a week together. Whatever works.

    2. Running:  I am a slow runner but I LOVE long distance running.  I also enjoy races, not because I’m fast or trying to win anything.  I really enjoy the medals you get for finishing a race.

    (2026 note: no longer running, but hiking!)

    3. Reading: In case you couldn’t tell I LOVE reading and will many ways to get more reading time. When I had nurslings, I read with a book and a tiny flashlight.  I don’t think there were Kindles (at least I didn’t have one) when my youngest was still nursing, but man, the Jane Austen I could get through if I had had. 

    Interesting/Notable:

    “I Am Surprised at the Conduct of the Young Women” — Letters of Note

    This is from a Substack that reproduces interesting letters from history. This particular letter is adorable!

    Record number expected for America’s “mini-Camino”

    This happens yearly at the beginning of May in Wisconsin, and I think it could definitely be an interesting religious pilgrimage! Looks very cool, and going from a St. Joseph Shrine to the Shrine of Our Lady of Champion (the only approved Marian shrine in the US).