The Mom Weekly

Category: Weekly Newsletter

  • Financial Mistakes I’ve Made (and why they don’t matter as much as you think)

    Financial Mistakes I’ve Made (and why they don’t matter as much as you think)

    The Mom Weekly Volume 10: September 26, 2023

    I know that I talk a lot about the good money decisions Dad & I have made over the years. But honestly, a lot of those were due to our general frugality and saver mentality, more than any intentional “good decisions.” 

    But since about 2013, I’ve turned toward being very involved in personal finance, trying to actively max out retirement accounts, optimize our money, understand where our money goes, and begin planning for the future. I am grateful that I started down that path, because knowledge of our finances went a long way towards making them better. And you all know many of the wins, because I’ve shared them! 

    I thought it would be helpful to list some of the mistakes I’ve made. This isn’t to criticize myself—that’s what I have kids for, after all, LOL. But just a few: 

    Mistake 1: Cashing out a retirement account early in my career

    I cashed out a retirement account when I left my first post-college job to go to grad school. I had to pay taxes on the amount that year, and I have no idea where that $1,000 or so went, but if I had just left it there, it would be worth more than $0 today. 

    I don’t even think I necessarily “should have” rolled it over into an IRA and had it grow all these years. If I weren’t going to do that, here’s the mistake: that I didn’t use the money for anything memorable. 

    If I would have intentionally used that money for something—like a trip, or a special piece of furniture for my apartment, I would still remember and get enjoyment from that. But I don’t have any idea of where the money went, so it feels wasted. 

    A brief digression to explain

    Here’s a story to explain what I mean about spending intentionally: One of your cousins recently thanked me for giving her advice about where to store the savings she had to pay off her student loans during the federal student loan pause. I advised her to stash it in a high-yield savings account, such as Discover or Capital One. The current interest rate at both is 4.3 percent—so great! 

    She took my advice, and she was able to use the interest to use as her “wedding fund” to travel to friends’ weddings. (And she kindly sent me fancy chocolates as a gift for my advice). 

    an intentional way to spend money: send fancy chocolate bars to a favorite aunt 

    Great move #1: 

    Listening to my advice, haha. But seriously, putting into effect a plan for her money, based on solid advice and doubtless her own research. 

    Great move #2: 

    Intentionally using the extra money (the interest produced) for a specific purpose—in her case, wedding travel & gifts — and enjoying it guilt-free. That is something I have not been as good about over the years, and I’ve tried to work on. 

    Back to my mistakes…. 

    Mistake #2: Spending money on “things”

    I spent way too much money on “things” when I was younger. Don’t get me wrong, I still spend plenty of money on things. But younger me was much more prone to actual shopping. The second ever IKEA that opened in the US was in Woodbridge, VA. 

    And when I lived in DC, I used to go there a lot, and buy various things. Some things I needed, like bookshelves, and some things I didn’t need, like the various tchotchkes they sell. 

    Also, that IKEA was near an outlet mall, and I would go through the Gap Outlet, and various other store outlets. I remember I enjoyed getting a “bargain” on clothes, most of which I don’t remember and didn’t need. 

    If online shopping had existed back then, I’m sure I would have been prone to overspending there as well. I wish I had given myself a certain amount that was okay to spend, and then not feel bad about it. Instead, I just spent whatever. I never went into debt, but I wasn’t very intentional about it. 

    I’ll stop here. Some of the other mistakes I want to write about might implicate Dad as well, and I don’t want to tell anyone else’s story, even if it’s the story of both of us. There’s no need, as I have certainly made plenty of mistakes by myself! 

    But as the headline said, by keeping our overall expenses low, and steadily contributing to retirement accounts and avoid debt, the mistakes don’t matter as much. 

    Remember how much I love you, 

    Mom 

    An interesting read: Financial Conversations to Set Your Marriage Up for Success

    Based on today’s topic, this article from The White Coat Investor is a helpful read. 

    Full disclosure: Dad & I didn’t have these kinds of in-depth conversations before we were married. And I think one of our mistakes was not having enough financial conversations through the years. 

    Before we were married, I do remember sharing my long-held belief of paying off credit cards in full each month. And when we bought our first house, I remember both of us being committed to getting a mortgage far below what we could “afford.” 

    I guess my advice on this would be to always be learning about financial things and talking about them together, and to always be open to changing your opinion. I certainly have over the years! 

    An interesting listen/watch: Joby Aviation Flying Taxi

    Aunt S asked me to find this article in the WSJ, so I shared this gifted version.

    She saw several of these crafts flying low near her last week. It’s like the Jetsons coming to live. Then I thought, it kind of looks like a helicopter—how is it different? Well, take a few minutes to watch the video in action from the company’s home page. Very cool! Especially the intriguing “script” on the video itself to explain the craft’s qualities. 

    An action item: Practice intentionality with money

    I think most of you have high-yield savings accounts. Take a minute to look at the total interest that you have earned this year on those accounts. It’s surprisingly high this year, compared to the last few years, when interest rates were so low. 

    How can you intentionally allocate that money so you will remember it? 

    The “practical” move would be to allocate it to student loans or something similar, but I encourage you to assign it to something fun. That could be a weekend trip, or a goal to eat at x number of cool restaurants before the end of the year. And then enjoy that without concern for other goals, because you’ve made that the goal for “this money.” 

    What are you doing this weekend?

    As every week: Now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing: 

    *faith—when are you going to Mass? 

    *friends—what friends will you see or connect with? 

    *food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit? 

    *fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally). 

  • What to Do About Student Loan Payments Restarting? Good Question.

    The Mom Weekly Volume 9: September 19,2023

    Notes: 

    I’m still recovering my energy from COVID, and beginning to like food again, which is a good sign. But I still want to take naps every couple of hours. 🙂 

    What to Do About Student Loan Payments Restarting? Good Question.

    “(P)utting things in autopilot on student loans typically does not yield better results.”

    —Sarah Catherine Gutierrez, CFP

    Payments on student loans begin again after a 3-year plus hiatus, so it’s time to consider options. 

    Let me say, after doing a lot of research and reading: it is …. confusing. When I first began to look at this, it seemed as if the new SAVE plan would be worthwhile for everyone, including those who are still in graduate school. But now I’m unsure. 

    Just because it’s confusing doesn’t mean that you should do nothing. That’s the easiest path, and, trust me, I’ve been there. But doing nothing is NOT the right move—see the quote that begins this! 

    Rather, it’s worth spending an hour or more this week figuring our your student loan plan—for now—and implementing it. As I read it, even if you join the SAVE program, you can change back if you want. 

    I would listen to the first half of this podcast episode from the White Coat Investor.

    Listening to this got me started on exploring the SAVE program and encouraging those with student loans to make a plan for future years. (You can read the transcript at the link if you’d rather not listen.) 

    More resources:

    Here are a few articles to read about student loan payments restarting and making a plan: 

    Student Loans are Resuming—Now What? 

    Federal Student Aid website explainer on SAVE

    How Does the Save Plan Work? — Fidelity

    A Few Ideas for for Exploring Your Options

    There are two reputable companies that offer student loan consulting. If you are still confused after doing your own research, maybe invest in this: 

    Student Loan Advice

    A consult here is a flat fee of $559. 

    Student Loan Planner

    A consult here for a 1-hour call is $595. 

    The benefit of both of these is that the people giving advice are trained on student loans, and give advice only on student loans. Getting advice, even if it is “free,” from someone else, like a financial advisor, might be sub-optimal. 

    My thoughts

    If I had student loans now, like I did 100 years ago, I would be interested in paying them off as quickly as possible. Even though taking out loans for school is “good debt” to incur, I don’t think it is good debt to “keep on the books.” 

    I might enroll in the SAVE program, then use those low payments and interest pause to save aggressively for paying them off (and other goals). At some point, I’d probably pay off the student loans in one fell swoop. 

    There are only two kinds of debt I would not want to get rid of quickly: 

    *mortgage debt. 

    *very low, or 0 interest debt. This could be, for instance, a car loan taken out when rates were much lower. No need to pay that off, when you can earn close to 5 percent in a high-yield savings account. 

    Otherwise, I would make a plan to pay things off as quickly as possible, at the same time saving for future goals. The order I would pay them off: 

    *high-interest credit card debt. 

    *other high-interest debt, such as a personal loan or higher-interest car loan. 

    *student loans. 

    If I worked at a PSLF-qualifying organization, such as a non-profit hospital or government agency, I would investigate going for that—public service loan forgiveness. If you work for a qualifying employer, your loans are forgiven after 10 years. Here’s an overview of the PSLF program. 

    Also, while we don’t have Parent Plus loans, it looks like there is “cliff” approaching in 2025 that would limit options for paying it off or enrolling in income-based repayment plans. If I had these, I would review this article and keep track of any changes. 

    Remember: Everyone has different goals and risk tolerance when it comes to money. I don’t think there is a one-size-fits all approach, but it is worth exploring your options and making an informed decision. You know what they say—the more you know…. 

    Love, 

    Mom 

    An interesting read: We are repaganizing

    This recent piece from Louise Perry entitled “We are Repaganizing” is extremely important, and I urge you to take the time to read it. (I know it seems out of place in a student loan-themed newsletter, but this is just so well-written, I didn’t want to put off sharing it). 

    Finding a good quote to excerpt is difficult because I want to quote the whole thing. Here are just two: 

    The supremely strange thing about Christianity in anthropological terms is that it takes a topsy-turvy attitude toward weakness and strength. To put it crudely, most cultures look at the powerful and the wealthy and assume that they must be doing something right to have attained such might. The poor are poor because of some failing of their own, whether in this life or the last. The smallness and feebleness of women and children is a sign that they must be commanded by men. The suffering of slaves is not an argument against slavery, but an argument against allowing oneself to be enslaved.

    Most cultures—perfectly logically—glorify warriors and kings, not those at the bottom of the heap. But Christianity takes a perverse attitude toward status and puts that perversity at the heart of the theology. “God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.”

    ….. 

    The moral innovation of Christianity was to reconceptualize rape as a moral wrong done to the woman herself, regardless of her birth. Paul’s prohibition of (to use the Greek term) porneia—that is, illicit sexual activity, including prostitution—upended an ethical system in which male access to the female body was unquestioned and unquestionable. 

    An interesting listen: Founders podcast on Rose Blumkin—Warren Buffett’s Favorite Founder

    Here’s the podcast link.

    I found this such an entertaining listen about Rose Blumkin, a woman who was the founder of Nebraska Furniture Mart, bought by Warren Buffett. I definitely would not have wanted to be her, but she was a true force of nature. 

    David Senra does such a great job profiling different “founders” throughout history by reading extensively, telling (in this case) her story through his perspective, comparing to other founders he’s profiled. Here are the show notes. 

    An action item: Two action items, actually.

    1. make sure you have an account on https://studentaid.gov/ and check in on your student loans. You should be able to see them, and sort them by amount, interest rate, and more. 

    2. Run a calculator with your amounts to see what might be the best option for you in terms of your repayment. Here are two calculators I found that offer some good information: 

    https://studentaid.gov/loan-simulator/
    SAVE Plan Calculator for Student Loans

    That should get you started, and reading and listening to the linked pieces above will also help give you information. 

    What are you doing this weekend?

    You know the drill here. Now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing: 

    *faith—when are you going to Mass? 

    *friends—what friends will you see or connect with? 

    *food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit? 

    *fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally).

  • COVID strikes again

    The Mom Weekly Volume 8: September 12, 2023

    Notes: 

    Several subscribers asked specifically about the Coast-to-Coast Walk—what it is, how I found out about it, and why I’m so interested in it. 

    I found out about the Coast-to-Coast Walk this spring while hiking with one of my sisters. She sees other “regulars” on her hikes, and one of the ones we talked with for a bit said he was training for the Coast-to-Coast Walk, and in the middle of his description I thought, “I want to do that one.” 

    Here’s an excerpt from a description from one the many companies) that will help organize or plan a trip for you; making your reservations, and transporting your bags. 

    Devised by renowned walker and writer Alfred Wainwright in 1973, the Coast to Coast Walk is the most famous long-distance trail in UK. At 315km or 195 miles, the Coast to Coast Walk uses a network of public footpaths tracks, permissive paths and access land to cross England’s huge variety of landscapes, terrain, villages and three unique national parks – the Lake District, Yorkshire Dales and North York Moors.
    Walkers are encouraged to dip their boots in the Irish Sea the before setting off and in the North Sea at the end of the trail.
    Starting in the tiny Cumbrian seaside village of St Bees, the trail climbs steeply into the Lake District National Park, home to spectacular lake and mountain scenery, before crossing classic rolling farmland, the Pennine Hills and the mystical cairns atop Nine Standards Rigg.
    Follow the beautiful River Swale to the historic market town of Richmond before leaving the Yorkshire Dales to cross the low-lying Vale of Mowbray and linking up with the North York Moors National Park. From here the trail undulates spectacularly before depositing you at Robin Hood's Bay.
    As you make your way across the Coast to Coast trail on foot or by bike, enjoy staying in specially handpicked hotels, guesthouses and pubs, where you’ll come to appreciate just how much a full English breakfast will set you up for a long day of walking or cycling.
    Because of the popularity of this trail, people often fall into the trap of thinking that it is easy. However, our trips on the Coast to Coast trail are amongst our most challenging but rewarding tours in Europe.
    Experience the diversity of England by choosing a guided or self guided walking or cycling trip on the Coast to Coast trail.”

    COVID strikes again

    This week I had a topic all queued up, but I tested positive for COVID on Sunday, so editing on that is not happening. Saturday was really my worst day, but I’m still pretty achy and tired. About a 3 on a scale of 1-10. 

    I keep telling friends and family that this is way better than having COVID when we first got it, back in August 2020. This was before the vaccine, and all of us were isolated, and exhausted, at home, for the better part of that August. We lost a month. 

    I remember not having the energy to do much of anything, even pay attention to something on video or tv. I feel a little bit like that now, but it lasted so much longer back then. 

    Do you remember how it would exhaust us to even eat something? Not that we wanted to eat—that was a struggle enough. I’m still not quite in the mode to eat real food, so thank God for electrolyte powder mixed with water, and for the blandest possible pretzels. 

    Back in 2020, I also remember how weird it was to lose my sense of taste and smell. It hasn’t totally gone away this time, but it’s diminished for sure. 

    Maybe I’m the only one who experienced this, but do you remember finding it exhausting even to be around each other? I just wanted to be alone with my misery, haha. That’s how I feel this time, too. 

    Here’s hoping that I’ll be mostly better when it’s time to schedule next week’s newsletter, and we can get back to regular programming. 

    Love, 

    Mom 

    An interesting read:

    Honestly, I have no brain for reading, so let me share the current COVID protocols. 

    According to this, I would be isolating through Thursday. Then, I would be allowed to be out and about— but with a mask—through Tuesday, September 19 (coincidentally right in time for the next Mom Weekly!) I think I will probably continue to isolate (but not as strictly), for the second five days. 

    An interesting listen:

    It kind of hurts to listen to or watch anything. So I’ll ask you: anything good you are watching or listening to lately? Once I’m back in action, but surely still a little tired, I will want to have things to watch or listen to. 

    An action item: Consider stocking up on COVID tests

    I wouldn’t overstock these, because they do expire (but many still work after their expiration date). But they are good to have on hand if you want to check.

    What are you doing this weekend?

    You know the drill here. Now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing: 

    *faith—when are you going to Mass? 

    *friends—what friends will you see or connect with? 

    *food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit? 

    *fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally).

  • How to Pick the Right Sort of Vacation for “You”

    How to Pick the Right Sort of Vacation for “You”

    The Mom Weekly Volume 7: September 5, 2023

    Notes

    I keep meaning to make notes about prior weeks. Two weeks ago, several of you pointed out that the Oppenheimer article link was behind a paywall. I apologize for that. I know many times paid Substack newsletters have occasional free posts, but I didn’t check to see if this was one of them. Basically, the article was making the point that bad choices can lead to bad consequences; and that we can still feel pity for ourselves and others who make bad choices, while not excusing ourselves or others. 

    “Sin is, in fact, the most pitiable thing of all. We’re all wandering around, broken people making broken choices, doing our best and missing the mark and failing in dramatic, devastating ways.”

    Slightly adjacent, on a humorous side: it reminds me of this meme I encountered somewhere recently, and I think I shared with some of you. 

    Remember you can reply to any of these emails, and I will get it. I love feedback! 

    How to Pick the Right Sort of Vacation for You

    Arthur C. Brooks wrote recently about having better vacations based on your personality. I find it a good starting point for talking about travel. 

    He identifies four travel personalities based on whether you are an introvert or extrovert, and how much you like planning. 

    “The Spontaneous Socializer” — extroverted & hates planning 

    “The Gregarious Planner”– extroverted, loves planning. 

    “The Surprise Avoider” — introverted, loves planning 

    “The Lone Wanderer”—introverted, no planning 

    I don’t really resonate with any of those personalities. Perhaps, part of me relates to each of the personalities. But it is a good starting point to talk about travel or vacations, and to get to think about some fun future travel! 

    Let’s go …. 

    Some other important questions or categories for me would be: 

    How do you travel with people close to you who might have different travel personalities? 

    How far in advance do you plan vacations or travel? As you probably know, I love planning trips, I think it’s the best way to operate, and I will die on that hill. 🙂 

    If it were up to me, I’d plan travel out a year or more in advance. Maybe I wouldn’t have all of my plans made for every minute—but I would know how we were getting there and where we were staying. To me, the planning helps solidify a trip and begins the enjoyment of it far in advance. As I’ve often said, planning helps you enjoy a trip before, during, and after. 

    Here are some trips that I would like to go on in future years. These are not in order of priority, but I’d love to do each of them: 

    Trips I’d Like to Take

    *pilgrimage to the Holy Land. This one would be best as a tour, very structured, because of the location, and just to be able to see one. My current favorite idea for a Holy Land tour is one with The Catholic Traveler — his Holy Land trip descriptions sound great.

    *western US national parks road trip-Utah, Colorado, Idaho, Montana (or more). I’m trying to convince Dad to do this soon. 

    *European river cruise—I’ve never done a cruise, but these small cruises sound like the right way to give it a try. We’ve watched the ads for Viking Cruise Lines on Masterpiece Theater shows, and that has me interested. 

    *Alaska cruise/rail trip. I don’t know the best way to explore Alaska, but I’d like to research it. 

    *Scotland—I don’t know why, but I’ve recently been interested in exploring Scotland. 

    *the Coast to Coast walk. This is very high on the priority list, definitely for the next year or two. I may do half at a time, so I don’t have an entirely rural UK experience. 

    *a month in the UK. This could be combined with the above two. 

    Wow, was this a terrific exercise!! I have gotten a lot of happiness out of making this list! This is the “before” part of enjoying a trip, even far in advance. I highly recommend you do this, too! 

    You can hit “reply” to this email to let me know if there’s any of those trips that you would like to go on, or to share some of your favorites. I’d love to maintain a list of great trips, and get a chance to actually complete some of them. 

    Remember how much I love you, 

    Mom 

    An interesting read: The New Old Age

    Dad shared this article with me from The Atlantic. It’s wonderful. I know you kids are younger, but it’s important to know that people can re-invent themselves all throughout life. We are all growing up, all the time. 

    An interesting listen: Looking for a good classic movie

    Some of us who were home this weekend watched, “His Girl Friday” on Amazon Prime and let’s just say, it did NOT age well. Oy vey. I don’t even know where to begin. So now I’m trying to find a good old movie to watch, or at least have a list of them. I thought about trying some Frank Capra films—I vaguely remember “Meet John Doe” and think it might have been good. I’ll keep you posted. Do you have any watching or listening recommendations? 

    An action item: Make a list of trips

    I keep a list of small action items to put here, and when I looked at it, “Plan a trip a year out” jumped out, naturally. 

    But I’m going to change it slightly, and ask you to make a list of fun trips you’d like to go on, even years from now. I promise you will enjoy this! And share it with me, if you’d like to. The first step to going on a great trip is to think about it! 

    What are you doing this weekend?

    The Mom Weekly schedules to post on Tuesdays. One of the reasons for this is to encourage you (and me, too!) to think about weekend plans. All too often, I have let that go until Friday, and then it’s hard to get people together, or make plans for coffee, or figure out when you go to Mass (other than the default, which is what we typically do). 

    So, now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing: 

    *faith—when are you going to Mass? 

    *friends—what friends will you see or connect with? 

    *food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit? 

    *fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally).

  • A Feature, Not a Bug

    The Mom Weekly Volume 6: Tuesday, August 29, 2023

    A feature, not a bug

    A few weeks ago, on the same day, I did Body Pump at the Y for the first time in several years (!), as well as more than an hour of Pickleball (with some of you!). I was so sore the next day, and for several days afterwards. But it got me thinking that soreness is not actually a bad thing. The soreness is a feature, not a bug. 

    The expression “It’s not a bug, it’s a feature” began as a saying used by software programmers for a lot of reasons, both good and bad. But over time it’s become a positive way to explain how something that seems “faulty” or wrong is actually a good thing. Here’s just one: a post explaining why age is a feature, not a bug, in tech.

    If I get back into the habit of going to Body Pump (and playing Pickleball more often), I will not be “so” sore, and that has become true over the last few weeks. 

    But I have to get through the soreness, and periodic experiences of that, in order to get and stay stronger, which is a high value for me as I get older. I need to keep reminding myself that the soreness is not a “bug”—not something wrong with me—but rather, a “feature” of me getting stronger. 

    The “feature, not bug” construct can be applied to many areas of life. 

    For instance, there is a feature, not a bug, of decluttering. When I get rid of something, there is the temporary, but very real, experience of anxiety I get when I either throw something away or drop off a bag at Goodwill. 

    That resistance is not a bug telling me, “oops, you keep all the things and never throw anything away” but rather a feature—the reminder that giving things away is hard. But it’s still important. And the more I overcome that resistance/anxiety, the easier it gets to declutter or let go of things. 

    In your life, what have you found that you thought was a bug, but is actually a feature?

    Love, 

    Mom 

    An interesting read: What If Your Town Doubled as a Private Power Grid?

    A curious contrast: in the Sunday paper version of the NYTimes, this article was titled, “Developing Neighborhoods That Can Keep the Lights On”

    I like the idea of having infrastructure in more decentralized ways. I’d love to live in a neighborhood like this! What about you? 

    An interesting listen: Young House Love Has a Podcast—a new episode!

    It’s been almost two years since there’s been a episode! 

    One fond memory of the early pandemic was listening to old episodes of Young House Love Has a Podcast while doing jigsaw puzzles. I had listened to it for a long time, but there was something so comforting and enjoyable about it. John & Sherry stopped airing regular episodes of the podcast in mid-2020, which was so sad! They did one pop-up episode in 2021, and the current one. Here’s hoping for more. 

    The fun connection/six degrees I have to this is that I introduced John & Sherry to Tanja Hester of Our Next Life. Tanja referenced them in a “be yourself”message in her talk at FinCon 2019. When I shared that on Instagram and tagged them, they connected. Tanja later told me (at one of the virtual FinCons during the pandemic) that that’s how they met. I guess I’m a pretty good connector! 

    I actually haven’t listened to it yet, because I’m saving it as a “treat,” and I’m pretty sure they are not going back to regular episodes. But it was fun while it lasted. 

    An action item: clean up your phone

    This week’s task is to clean up your phone display. I have done this from time to time, but I thought having it as a regular occurrence would be helpful. 

    I am going to try to stick with working for only 5-10 minutes, and get as much completed while I can, so as not to make it a hyper focus time suck. So I’m setting a timer and seeing how much I can get done in that time. 

    I’m going to start by taking apps off of my phone that I don’t use much or at all. I can always re-download them if I need them again. 

    Updated: 10 minutes didn’t get me very far with this task, but I was able to delete a bunch of apps. There’s just so many more! I stopped after the 10 minutes though, and I’ll come back to it another time.

    What are you doing this weekend?

    The Mom Weekly schedules to post on Tuesdays. One of the reasons for this is to encourage you (and me, too!) to think about weekend plans. All too often, I have let that go until Friday, and then it’s hard to get people together, or make plans for coffee, or figure out when you go to Mass (other than the default, which is what we typically do). 

    So, now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing: 

    *faith—when are you going to Mass? 

    *friends—what friends will you see or connect with? 

    *food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit? 

    *fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally). 

  • What Could Be Better Than Tunnel of Fudge Cake?

    What Could Be Better Than Tunnel of Fudge Cake?

    The Mom Weekly Volume 5: Tuesday, August 22

    What Could Be Better Than Tunnel of Fudge Cake?

    Nothing, that’s what. 

    Sunday would have been Grandpa’s 96th birthday, and some years, including this one, I make a chocolate cake to celebrate. 

    Almost always, Grandma would make his favorite cake—a chocolate devil’s food layer cake with a cooked frosting, kind of like pudding. I have made that one in the past, and I don’t know if you remember having it. But yesterday, I decided to make the chocolate cake that I wanted, and that I’m sure Grandpa would have loved: my version of Tunnel of Fudge Cake. 

    Initially, I didn’t intend to share recipes in The Mom Weekly, but then I thought, why not? Let me know if you like this, or would like more recipes. 

    Love, 

    Mom 

    —————— 

    Tunnel of Fudge Cake is one of the most famous cakes associated with the Pillsbury Bake-Off, and it didn’t even win! It won second place in 1966, but it was an instant classic and pretty much single-handedly popularized bundt pans. 

    Here’s a story about the history of the Tunnel of Fudge cake, and an adapted recipe. 

    One of the things that many Tunnel of Fudge recipes call for is nuts, but I’ve never included them. I adapted my recipe from one of Ann Byrn’s The Cake Mix Doctor cookbooks. Cake mix “doctoring” is a tried and true strategy, especially in the South. 

    I’ve changed this recipe so much over the years, that I’m not sure how similar it is to the Ann Byrn recipe. But it’s always delicious. 

    Mom’s Tunnel of Fudge Cake 

    Tunnel of Fudge Cake has three components: the cake, the fudgy pudding filling, and the thick icing. 

    Procedure:

    Butter and flour a bundt pan, or use “cooking spray with flour” product like Baker’s Joy.

    Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. 

    Make the Filling (this is my homemade chocolate pudding with less milk to make it fudgier): 

    Filling:

    1/4 cup cornstarch 

    1/2 cup sugar 

    1/8 teaspoon salt 

    2 cups whole milk 

    1/4 cup cocoa powder 

    1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips 

    1 teaspoon vanilla 

    1 Tablespoon butter 

    In a pot, whisk together all ingredients except for butter, chips & vanilla. 

    Cook on medium-low until it thickens. After it thickens, add in chocolate chips, vanilla, and stir until smooth. 

    The Cake:

    Put all ingredients into a large mixing bowl: 

    1 box Duncan Hines chocolate devil’s food cake mix 

    1/2 cup melted and cooled butter 

    1/2 cup sour cream 

    1/2 cup water 

    4 large eggs 

    1 teaspoon vanilla 

    Pinch salt 

    Blend ingredients with a hand mixer for 2-4 minutes. 

    Put all but two cups of batter into the prepared bundt pan. 

    Spoon filling on top of the cake batter in the bundt pan, make sure it doesn’t touch sides. 

    Evenly spread remaining two cups on top of filling center. (Don’t worry if it seems really close to the edge of the pan—it will sink while it bakes, and the fudge layer will be almost at the top, instead of the bottom. 

    Bake about 35-45 minutes, until the cake springs back, or when a toothpick inserted in the cake comes out with crumbs or clean. 

    Cool for 10 minutes, and then turn out onto cake platter. 

    After completely cool, make Martha’s Chocolate Icing and pour slowly over the cake. 

    Martha’s Chocolate Icing (also adapted from Ann Byrn)

    Combine in a small saucepan: 

    1 cup sugar 

    5 Tablespoons butter 

    1/3 cup whole milk 

    Put sugar, butter, and milk in small pan. Let it come to a boil, about 3-4 minutes. Boil until sugar dissolves, about 1 minute more. Remove from heat. 

    While mixture is still hot, stir in until smooth: 

    1 cup semisweet chips 

    Pinch salt 

    1 Teaspoon vanilla 

    An interesting read:

    Actually, two: 

    This review of Oppenheimer from Claire Swinarski of Letter from a Catholic Feminist. 

    Claire also refers to this letter that Sinead O’Connor wrote to Miley Cyrus. It’s worth a read. The article about it came out when Sinead O’Connor died several weeks ago. It makes me wonder who she might write to today, and what she would say. 

    Real empowerment of yourself as a woman would be to in future refuse to exploit your body or your sexuality in order for men to make money from you. I needn’t even ask the question … I’ve been in the business long enough to know that men are making more money than you are from you getting naked. It’s really not at all cool. And it’s sending dangerous signals to other young women. Please in future say no when you are asked to prostitute yourself. Your body is for you and your boyfriend. It isn’t for every spunk-spewing dirtbag on the net, or every greedy record company executive to buy his mistresses diamonds with.

    An interesting listen:

    “Oppenheimer” on Ben Wilson’s How to Take Over the World podcast. 

    How to Take Over the World is a well-produced podcast profiling different people from history, both recent and long ago. I listened to the Oppenheimer episode the other day, and it was a great addition to the Claire Swinarski letter above. 

    An action item: Plan your next birthday

    Grandpa’s birth anniversary made me think about birthday planning, something I started later in life, but has made my birthdays much happier. 

    Maybe this is an action item for me, since I have a big birthday coming up in a few months. But I it’s worthwhile for anyone to decide how you want your birthday/birthday weekend/birthday week to look: what you would like to do, what kind of cake you want, and how you’d like to celebrate. 

    The years that I have done that or really gotten a family member to do this, the birthdays has been much more enjoyable. Even if your birthday is far away, jot down some notes on your phone or computer, and refer back to it. 

    I may want to make Tunnel of Fudge Cake again for my birthday, but we shall see! 

    What are you doing this weekend?

    The Mom Weekly schedules to post on Tuesdays. One of the reasons for this is to encourage you (and me, too!) to think about weekend plans. All too often, I have let that go until Friday, and then it’s hard to get people together, or make plans for coffee, or figure out when you go to Mass (other than the default, which is what we typically do). 

    So, now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing: 

    *faith—when are you going to Mass? 

    *friends—what friends will you see or connect with? 

    *food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit? 

    *fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally).