The Mom Weekly Volume 37: April 16, 2024
Notes:
This is essentially a “from the vault,” and so that’s how it is labeled. I use this term all the time, and here is how it came about. I wanted to share the letter I wrote to this former therapist (I see someone different now, but still really respect and admire her) a couple of years ago as a thank-you. Iit started with her!
There will be at some point a Part 2, and a Part 3 to this (not right away! Eventually!), because I have a lot more to say about this.
Let me say—not for the first time—that I will die on the hill that counseling/therapy, good therapy from well-trained and honorable people, is valuable and worthy.
Remember how much I love you,
Mom
Look At All Those People Taking Care of Themselves (2022)
You may remember that I saw you for counseling about 10-12 years ago. And something you said back then has always stuck with me, and I have shared it many times.
I’ve been grateful to you for years, but only recently did it occur that you probably don’t know the impact those words have had on my life and the lives of those around me. So I’m writing this letter to let you know.
The easiest way is to share an excerpt from a talk I gave to a teen girls’ retreat in 2019. I still have the text on my laptop, so here it is:
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Look at all Those People Taking Care of Themselves
Many years ago, I went to counseling to talk over some issues, which was very helpful for me in many ways, and I highly recommend it.
It’s a sign of strength, not weakness, to see help when one needs it.
For several sessions, I kept running into people I would know in the waiting room. Like, nearly every time! At one point I mentioned it kind of sheepishly to my counselor. She said, “When you see the people you know, you might find it helpful to say, “Look at all those people taking care of themselves.”
A person at adoration—look at all those people taking care of themselves.
People eating healthy and having a good balance of physical activity and intellectual stimulation: look at all those people taking care of themselves.
People who practice hobbies and interests—look at all those people taking care of themselves.
People spending time with their loved ones—look at all those people taking care of themselves.
Those people out in nature getting time in God’s creation — look at those people taking care of themselves.
As you go through your life, consider the ways in which you take care of yourself, and those around you do the same. Don’t forget to take care of yourself, and seek help as needed.
—-
In the talk, I shared it with a small group of teen girls & adults. But there have been numerous conversations over the years with pretty much this same message: “Look at all those people taking care of themselves.”
I don’t “broadcast” my struggles with physical health or mental health, but I also don’t hide them in conversations with friends.
And a few times a year, often more, someone near to me will confide in me about a mental health issue that they or a loved one are going through. And I can share my experience of starting counseling many years ago. I share how even when things are going well, I touch base a few times a year for “maintenance”, and more often when needed. Look at me taking care of myself! 🙂
And nearly always, I tell the story of how you told me, “Look at all of those people taking care of themselves.” Almost always, it resonates, as it did to me many years ago.
In that way, I try to encourage the person to either seek help or encourage their loved one to seek help from a well-trained and trusted counselor.
I’m so grateful for that sentence of yours, and I know other people are as well. So, thank you, and God bless you.
Interesting/Notable:
How to help someone use a computer.
I thought this article from 1996, was still helpful today in helping people who might not be as tech-savvy.
How Body Literacy Can Transform Our Relationships with Ourselves, Others, and God—Managing Your Fertility podcast
What an interesting interview! I actually discovered this podcast from reading this post at Recovering Catholic.
And I’m really impressed with the breadth of information, methods, and conversation around NFP. As we like to say, back in my day, Netflix came in the mail!
Our Last Great Adventure
This was such a moving and also fascinating excerpt from Doris Kearns Goodwin’s newest book, about going through her husband’s boxes from his time in the Kennedy and Johnson administrations.
An action item: Clean out your “junk drawer”
I think I probably have a “junk drawer” in most of the rooms of our house. And I do not clean them out very often. When I do, I find it a very satisfying exercise, as I can rearrange things, usually throw away a ton, and just make a small space look nicer. This week, I will work on the junk drawer in the cabinets in our laundry room.
Which one will you pick in your own place? I promise you’ll feel better after you do it. And don’t overdo this—just set a timer for 10 minutes, work to organize the drawer during then, and tidy up when the timer goes off. You can always do another round tomorrow, or another day.
What are you doing this weekend?
So, now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing:
*faith—when are you going to Mass?
*friends—what friends will you see or connect with?
*food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit?
*fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally).
