The Mom Weekly

Author: Mom

  • Check the Date

    The Mom Weekly Volume 86: April 1, 2025

    You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the home page here.

    Notes:

    (This section is “not” an April Fool’s joke/prank in any way!)

    Remember how much I love you,

    Mom

    Check the Date

    Most of you know that I’m not a big fan, or a fan at all, of April Fool’s Day. It’s just not my thing, because it seems like pranks or jokes can get elaborate or messy or mean or land poorly, etc. Too much risk for not much reward.

    It turns out that I’m not the only one—and this cyber security company used the “holiday” as an opportunity to educate people about scams.

    Fortunately, there have been some cute April Fools posts/videos related to personal finance over the years. Let me share some for some comic relief (or at least a chuckle) this day. Most are from YNAB, because when I went looking those were the best produced and funniest.

    YNAB AI—What Could Go Wrong?

    YNAB for Pets

    I Never Had More Money Than When I Started Using this App

    YNAB Live Push Notifications

    The Motley Fool April Fools Jokes Throughout the Years

    Interesting/Notable:

    Keeping Small Things Small: Laura Vanderkam

    Best quote from this piece:

    Or you can ask yourself “Whose issue is this anyway?” It might be nice if your colleague didn’t use double exclamation points in all his e-mails, but this hardly reflects on you.”

    The Pros of Keeping Christ on the Cross

    Another Substack writer I came across. Maybe someone shared it? I find Substack’s current interface odd and non-intuitive.

    An excellent quote:

    “The crucifixes are not descriptive of where Christ is right now, they’re an exploration of what that moment entailed.”

    An Action Item: Prepare Your Net Worth for Quarter 1

    Remember that at the end of each quarter, the action item is to update your net worth. March 31 was the end of Q1 (or the first quarter of 2025), so it’s worthwhile updating.

    Repeating my regular script:
    This may take slightly longer this first time, if you have not done so. But I promise you, over time, you will be happy that you do this. 

    The reason I hesitated is that, especially for younger people, it could be pretty likely you have a negative net worth, largely because of student loans. But that’s will be so temporary (over the long haul!) that it should not discourage you. 

    When people begin to track their net worth, they call it “getting back to zero” when they have a zero net worth. That may not seem promising, but it’s a great accomplishment for those who have paid off a significant amount of debt, whether student loan debt, credit card debt, or other types of debt. 

    And it can be very encouraging to see an improvement in your net worth over time. 


    Here my super-simple net worth calculator spreadsheet .There’s no formatting with cool colors and such, but it works and completes the calculations for you. Let me know what you think about it!

    A couple of notes:

    *Unfortunately, Google Sheets does not allow password-protecting of items. I prefer to keep this information, and most of my spreadsheets, in a format I can password protect. Think Microsoft Excel, Apple’s Numbers, etc. You can even do this on paper if you want, and store it somewhere safe. 

    *There are two “sheets” in the shared spreadsheet —the first is a blank one, and the second is a sample with random numbers that I have included. I have added in pretend numbers to the sample sheet, so you can see how the numbers change over time.

    *Sometimes people do not add in their vehicles or mortgages. I do, because you can see how much equity you have in the house or vehicle. But I mentally don’t include them the same weight as other assets, since they are not liquid and it’s not likely one would sell them for living expenses, in retirement or not.

  • I’m Glad You Were Born

    I’m Glad You Were Born

    The Mom Weekly Volume 85: March 25, 2025

    You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the website here.

    Notes: 

    The Rich Mullins Lent reflections are just going to have to wait, as I am having a world of trouble finishing the first one!

    However, you can still listen to his music during Lent. Here’s my “A Rich Mullins Lent” Spotify playlist again. I think you will find it spiritually fruitful, but if not, feel free to abandon it. But maybe try to pick some music to listen to during Lent that could be spiritually fruitful for you.

    Remember how much I love you,

    Mom

    I’m Glad You Were Born

    Today is the Feast of the Annunciation. I’m always surprised that it is not a Holy Day of Obligation. I think I mix it up with the Assumption in August, which is a Holy Day of Obligation.

    Fra Angelico , The Annunciation (from Wikimedia Commons)

    Anyway, this is a great feast day. I have such a vivid memory of my oldest nephew being “overdue” many years ago (I was in high school!) and my Mom’s Irish friends saying novenas that the baby would be born on St. Patrick’s Day. They did this just to annoy my Mom, who (jokingly, I’m sure, being fully Italian) did not want that to happen!

    And then he was born on the feast of the Annunciation! I remember my Mom being so happy about that. It’s also just a wonderful feast of solidarity with pregnant women and babies.

    There are a lot of birthdays upcoming—today, and tomorrow, and the next few months.

    As I pray for those people on and around their birthdays, a prayer that keeps settling in my heart is: “I’m glad you were born.”

    I’m not sure what that means related to the Annunciation—one would think I would have that kind of Holy Spirit Nudge would appear around Christmas. But I’m trying to be more open to the Holy Spirit and my guardian angel. (Re-read “Holy Spirit Nudges” to recall what I mean by that. Every time, I giggle when I think about my guardian angel rolling her eyes at me).

    So there it is. I’m glad you were born.

    Interesting/Notable:

    Five Ways to Reduce Your Microplastics Exposure—Dr. Peter Attia

    I definitely want to reduce my microplastics, but I am still going to enjoy my occasional fountain sodas and Dunkin’ iced coffees. Fortunately, we already have a reverse osmosis system in our kitchen, so I’m doing one of the highest-impact actions for this. 

    An Action Item: Mary’s Girlhood by Dante Gabriel Rossetti

    When I taught high school for two years before you kids were born, an English teacher (Mrs. P!) was in the classroom next door.. She introduced me to this poem, and we taught a joint class between our two classes on it several times. I love to read it each Annunciation. (And I was “sure” it was written by his sister, Christina Rossetti, but I was wrong!)

    Mary’s Girlhood

    This is that blessed Mary, pre-elect
    God’s Virgin. Gone is a great while, and she
    Dwelt young in Nazareth of Galilee.
    Unto God’s will she brought devout respect,
    Profound simplicity of intellect,
    And supreme patience. From her mother’s knee
    Faithful and hopeful; wise in charity;
    Strong in grave peace; in pity circumspect.


    So held she through her girlhood; as it were
    An angel-water’d lily, that near God
    Grows and is quiet. Till, one dawn at home,
    She woke in her white bed, and had no fear
    At all,—yet wept till sunshine, and felt aw’d:
    Because the fulness of the time was come.

  • St. John Vianney, Pray for Us (From the Vault, February 2010)

    St. John Vianney, Pray for Us (From the Vault, February 2010)

    The Mom Weekly Volume 84: March 18, 2025

    You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the website here.

    Notes

    I had a 75 percent finished draft of a meditation on a Rich Mullins song, but there is no way that me on Monday evening (when I am writing this) could reasonably get it to anywhere in the ballpark of 100 percent. That’s because of the last few days of moving, which have been fun, but also draining! Similar to “how many motors do you have?” I have about 7/100 brain cells working.

    So I went looking in the “vault” for a good second week of Lent writing. I just scrolled through a bit, and skimmed this one and thought, here we go! Not for the first time do I thank my younger self for taking the time to write a reflection so today’s me could have a break.

    Remember how much I love you,

    Mom

    St. John Vianney, pray for us (From the Vault, February 2010)

    “There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils,” write C.S. Lewis in his preface to The Screwtape Letters. “One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them.”

    The Screwtape Letters—imaginary letters from an elder demon to his demon-in-training on ways to tempt a human— is one of my favorite Lewis works. I have it on my reading list for Lent, and while I hadn’t read the book in a long time, (I hadn’t opened it this Lent, which is still very young…), the book, and this quote in particular, kept coming to mind last night as I watched (along with members of our parish) a drama about the life of St. John Vianney performed at our local cathedral.

    While everyone else around me—including some I love and hold in friendship—enthused about its drama and quality, I have to confess it I was underwhelmed.  In fact, I was put off, to say the least, by the way the devil became a character—arguably the most compelling—in the creative vision of the artist, who I believe is sincere and loves God and His Church.

    I hesitate to critique someone who I believe is in good faith trying to tell an exciting story about the life of this great saint, but I think it missed the mark by a wide margin. I think others may have had a different reaction to experiencing this drama, but I wanted to put out my thoughts as an alternative vision. The devil is too strong of a character in this drama, and it can lead us to what Lewis calls “an unhealthy interest.” Is that worse than disbelieving?  No, because there is an enemy to our souls. But ultimately we have nothing to fear because we belong to Jesus.

    St. John Vianney, the beloved Cure of Ars, was known for hearing confessions for up to 16 hours a day.  He had a gift for “reading” souls. There are so many good stories about St. John Vianney–the one of him consoling a wife whose husband committed suicide by saying, “His soul is safe in purgatory, and you should pray for him. From the bridge to the water, he repented.” And yes, there were the stories of him being tormented by demons and kept awake, but they were just part of his life, of his good work and tireless effort on behalf of his flock.  His life was really for Jesus, not simply against the devil.

    Before this drama, if I had one word to describe St. John Vianney, I would have said, and still say, “confession.” But I think many people leaving that drama would say—and properly based on the dramatization, because it was the center of the “struggle” in the play—”devil” .  That’s a bad exchange, and one I think would not be pleasing to St. John Vianney.  

    It took a long discussion with Sir when I returned from the play last night, some reflection time, and comparing it with my lived experience and knowledge of St. John Vianney, to order my thoughts.  

    What I would encourage for others—even related to this kind of religious drama that we are perhaps encouraged to accept uncritically -is that one can and should still filter out what is not helpful to a healthy spiritual journey, just like one would when reading a novel or seeing a movie.  Some may find it edifying and helpful, but many may not, and there is nothing wrong in that, and in admitting that.  

    This is one artist’s vision for a dramatization of the life of St. John Vianney, not “the life of St. John Vianney.” We are free to leave behind what is unhelpful, in the same way we can be attracted to the lives of certain saints and not to others. There’s a lot of room—for our own personality to shine forth in the experience and life of our faith. It’s not called the Catholic (which means “universal”) Church for nothing. And thank the Good Lord for that.

    Marriage Article of the Week:

    The happiest couples use 2 phrases when talking about money, says self-made millionaire–CNBC

    Excuse the dumb headline, but this is a solid article featuring Ramit Sehti, who wrote “I Will Teach You to be Rich” and “Money for Couples.” These are quite helpful books about automating your savings and more. I met him at the 2019 FinCon and was impressed with how he explains money mindsets and the importance of planning.

    The two phrases are 

    “What’s our rich life?”  

    And “in this family, we….”

    The meaning of “What’s our rich life?” is: understanding what matters to you and what doesn’t, and then aligning your spending with that. Basically, what would make us happy to spend money, time, and resources on? And how can we make sure to do more of that?

    And “In the this family, we …” means having a family culture that values certain things—and therefore spends money on them—and doesn’t value others. I can think of a few for our family!  In this family, we think seeing and visiting family members is worth a good bit of our time and resources. In this family, we give extra money to charity during Lent and Advent. In this family, we believe the 1995 BBC “Pride & Prejudice” is superior by many degrees to any other version. In this family, we believe everything tastes better after a hike. 🙂

    This is actually a fun thought experiment. Give it a try!

    An Action Item: Celebrate St. Joseph’s Day Tomorrow!

    Here’s my recipe for savoiardi, that I posted last year. I am making them right now, and they are being enjoyed!

  • A Rich Mullins Lent

    A Rich Mullins Lent

    The Mom Weekly Volume 83: March 11, 2025

    You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the website here.

    Notes: 

    Well, that was a “fun” start to Lent! She said ironically (or Byronically, but only the English majors reading will laugh at that). 

    I’m not sure how your Lent started, but mine was funny. I really didn’t have too much trouble with eating meatless and fasting. But I decided on something to “do” during Lent, other than my regular things.

    I thought, how about this?: refrain from purchasing anything on Wednesdays and Fridays. That includes, for instance, coffee at Dunkin, shopping at the grocery store, and online shopping. 

    I probably go to the grocery store too much (but not as much as other people I know, whose initials are Dad, wink). Also, I’m too used to my little treats, that if I made a point not to shop on those days, I could probably save quite a bit of time, and also money to give to the poor, and plan ahead to get things (groceries, especially) on days other than Wednesdays and Fridays.

    I was doing great all of Ash Wednesday, and thought, okay, this is going to be a good Lenten thing. I didn’t go to Dunkin. I thought about ordering some toiletries online during the day, but reminded myself, no, that can happen tomorrow.

    And then right before heading upstairs for bed, I checked email, and there was a notice from an online shop letting me know that an item had come back into stock in my size, and I could order it if I wanted.

    Without even thinking, I did order it! I knew I wanted the item, and it was a good wardrobe staple. Ha.

    “Just” as I was getting into bed, I realized, oh, honey, you just bought something on ASH WEDNESDAY. And I had to laugh at myself.

    Anyway, I will try to get in the habit of (mostly) no-spend Wednesdays and Fridays through Lent. When I fail, I will do better the next time.

    Remember how much I love you,

    Mom

    A Rich Mullins Lent

    bonus points if you know where this photo was taken, in November 2018

    Last year, my book group was reading My God and My All, a biography of sorts about St. Francis of Assisi, written by 20th century British author Elizabeth Goudge. And I really struggled with it. I do love St. Francis of Assisi—hey, we named our firstborn after St. Francis, after all! And remember how much we all loved Assisi. 

    But something about the way Goudge wrote made his love of poverty seem unappealing in the worst way. St. Francis himself was almost repellent. I struggled so much, and I am not ashamed to say that I’m glad some other women in my book group felt the same way.

    It made me think of Rich Mullins, to be honest. Let me explain.

    Around the same time, an online friend from Colorado shared on social media an unintentionally goofy video from the CMA Country Christmas of Amy Grant & Trisha Yearwood performing Rich Mullins’ song “Sing Your Praise to the Lord” (oh, the incongruous dancers!). 

    She mused about what Rich Mullins, who died in a car accident in 1997, would say about it if he could see it. She joked that he would be keeping the people in heaven in stitches with a running commentary about it.

    As you know, I have been a huge Rich Mullins fan since the 1980s, even naming my blog after one of his songs! (The song is “Let Mercy Lead.”)

    Mullins, who was days away from converting to Catholicism when he died, lived in voluntary poverty (even though his music made lots of money), and admired St. Francis greatly. There’s a documentary about him I love that’s on Amazon Prime (Rich Mullins: A Ragamuffin Legacy). 

    My friend shared this older documentary called “Homeless Man: The Restless Heart of Rich Mullins”. I watched it, and I teared up often watching it and seeing his deep faith and words. 

    It struck me how Mullins is a kind of 20th century St. Francis. And I find his life, and his words about radical poverty and closeness with Christ, more attractive than Elizabeth Goudge’s portrayal of St. Francis in My God and My All. I am pondering why that is!

    Since then, I’ve been listening to Rich Mullins music off and on, and I find some of his songs very fruitful for Lenten reflection. So, for a few weeks during Lent, I hope to post a reflection based on one of his songs. We will see how it goes! 

    Interesting/Notable:

    Marriage Article of the Week: For Luck in Love, Couples Are Breaking Plates (On Purpose) (NY Times Gift link)

    I shared this article here in 2023(!), and I’m not necessarily arguing for this as a night-before-a-wedding tradition! Though it is kind of cool. It is worthwhile sharing as a marriage article of the week. This quote in particular: 

    “We swept up the pieces that spilled out of the box together, which was my favorite part. It’s a reminder that while building a life together, things break, but none strong enough to break the bond of marriage.”

    An Action Item: Listen to Some Rich Mullins 

    I find listening to Rich Mullins music to be edifying and meditative. So I made “A Rich Mullins Lent” Spotify playlist. Consider playing some of the songs if you want during Lent. I played this while I finished writing and posting this weekly!

    But I fully understand that not everyone has the same music taste, so if Rich Mullins music isn’t your thing (after giving it a good listen!), then please make your own playlist of good songs to listen to during Lent. It’s pretty easy!

  • Lent, Lent, Time to Repent …

    Lent, Lent, Time to Repent …

    The Mom Weekly Volume 82: Tuesday, March 4, 2025

    You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the home page here.

    Lent, Lent, Time to Repent….

    Do you remember the CD we had back in the mid-2000s from the “Dogma Dogs”? I think it was two young college students who created all those fun songs, such as “21 Ecumenical Councils” (I know but remember it was very funny!).

    One of the songs I remember is “Lent” and it had a chorus, “It’s Lent, Lent, time to repent.” 

    Sadly, I could not find the Dogma Dogs on Spotify. Dogma Dogs, if you’re out there, upload your songs to Spotify. 🙂

    Anyway, I did find this link to a description of the group and some of their fun songs. Helpfully, the post links to a clip of the song itself (and a few others), and I encourage you to give it a listen, just for the smile:

    Clip of the song “Lent”

    And to get yourself in the mood for Lent!

    Preparing for Lent, In Tiny Ways

    So, yes, Lent begins with Ash Wednesday on March 5, tomorrow. It might be a good idea to take a few minutes to think about planning for those six weeks.

    I know Lent can be a less than positive time for some of us, but I would propose that planning for some of this can help make it less burdensome.

    First, remember that there’s no holy day of obligation for either Ash Wednesday or any of the Easter Triduum. But if you want to go, especially on Ash Wednesday, and if you go early in the day you can have people asking you all day, “Did you know you have something on your forehead?”  🙂

    Fasting and abstinence. Here is an article about the “rules” .

    But briefly: No meat on Ash Wednesday and all the Fridays of Lent. 

    I remember when I was young and since, and I didn’t have an easy way to remind me about what day of Lent is. More than once, I accidentally at a Wendy’s cheeseburger on a Friday. (See, I’ve liked Wendy’s for many decades! I’m consistent).

    Today, though, we have online calendars and reminders. So consider putting in your calendar “fast” on Ash Wednesday (March 5) and Good Friday (April 18). And then “abstinence” from meat on Ash Wednesday and all the Fridays of Lent. 

    But especially the fasting rule does not count for health reasons. You know what those are, and using your best judgment to decide how to proceed.

    Also, what are some ways to make Lent meaningful when it may be especially hard?

    First of all, we can bring any of those to prayer. God knows everything about you, and He wants to hear from you, so taking the time to pray about what you detest or dread about Lent.

    There are innumerable articles online about creative things to “do” or “give up” for Lent. I would have my own (eat more protein! Talk to a friend every day! Text your Mom more often than you do! Haha), but I know you can come up with some good ideas on your own, that would help you live this season in the way that’s best for you. You could even do something nice for yourself, every day of Lent.

    I really liked this one from Lent 2024.

    If you read through the ideas, there are quite a few creative ones that would be a way to make Lent more “doing.” “Here are few I loved: “give up speeding for all of Lent” “daily games with family” “every time you go to Mass, introduce yourself to someone new” “call someone you don’t regularly talk to” “intentional give sincere compliments to everyone you have a conversation with”

    I also like this list—it’s for kids, actually, but really helpful for adults, too!—from our own local Katie Bogner of Look To Him and Be Radiant. She has a new book coming out on Lent, which I’ve pre-ordered, but has not arrived. However, the printable from the book are on her website. She is so prolific, and such a great artist!

    These are all super simple things to do —- “ways” — for the 40 Days of Lent. They are not to do in order, but just as you think of it. I plan to print this out and to leave it with my daily lists and notebook, and to “check off” things as I meditate on them, and perhaps even accomplish!

    Here is a Drive link to the 40 Ways for 40 Days printable.

    Finally, An aside: For you calendar nerds like me, here is an astronomical website from Australia, naturally?), which lists the dates of all Easters from 1700-2299. 

    Interesting/Notable:

    Marriage Article of the Week: Add to Your Communications Toolbox with These Strategies —- Renzo and Monica Ortega 

    Because the content is so good, I’m ignoring the minor things I want to change about their website font and a few other things. I’m by no means an expert website developer, but sometimes I get strong ideas, especially if something (like a font change) would be an easy fix).

    This article talks about creating a “communications toolbox” — terrific ideas here!

    I also really appreciate their podcast, Two Become Family. A TMW last year on the “manosphere” featured this podcast episode they did about the phenomenon:

    An Action Item: Download the Prayer of St. Ephrem to your phone

    When I looked at last year’s beginning of Lent post, after I already completed this one, I thought, that was good! (Including my first-ever GIF).

    But that post featured an image of the Prayer of St. Ephrem, which is traditionally prayed during Lent. I’ll feature it again here, and consider adding it to your phone, possibly to your lock screen? So that you can remember to pray it every so often during Lent.

  • Marriage Article of the Week

    Marriage Article of the Week

    The Mom Weekly Volume 81: February 25, 2025

    You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the home page here.

    Marriage Article of the Week

    For obvious reasons (!!!), occasionally in this space, I’ve decided to share a “marriage article of the week.” In my opinion, it is more than helpful to have a wide variety of reading material and information before marriage, and certainly during marriage. 

    When I share articles or ideas, I won’t agree entirely with everything each person says, but it is helpful to consider a lot of different approaches! And article-sized portions are better than trying to read and talk about an entire book. Maybe I can even get Dad to read these articles with me and have a chat? 

    Also, if you have a suggestion for a marriage article of the week, I would love to hear. from you! You can just reply to the weekly email and I will get it.

    I will probably put these, with less commentary, in the “Interesting/Notable” section of future weekly newsletters. But for this week, it’s the main event! And that is why, this week there is no “Interesting/Notable” section.

    Not Once, in 25 Years

    This is a thoughtful, excellent read. This writer (who I discovered on Substack) is not Catholic, but she offers a solid description of the mutuality in marriage, and the give and take of decision-making, big and small.

    I remember reading articles from Catholic or other Christian bloggers decades ago, and some (yes, even the Catholic ones) talking about how the husband “gets the deciding vote.” I always thought this was utterly ridiculous, and so does Dad, and we always grieved for those who were harmed by this concept.

    This article really encapsulates how much mutual submission goes on in a healthy marriage. Her description of using “giving a fig” (this is what that means, in case you haven’t heard that old-fashioned expression. But you probably have!)

    She talks about the person who “gives more figs” than the other usually gets his or her way (as in the description of wedding china); and when both have strong feelings, they hash it out.

    This longer quote is an excellent description of how this works: 

    Years later, there was a big thing I didn’t think I wanted. My husband really wanted it. I had fear. He had figs. He gave lots of figs, but he never would have tried to exercise a vote against me, when I had serious concerns, and the decision would matter so much to both our lives. Whatever we decided, we were both going to keep giving lots and lots of figs. In a moment of trust, both in him and in the Spirit, I said, “let’s do it.” I submitted. The results weren’t what either of us expected, and neither of us would ever take back that decision.

    We roll with things. We go back and forth. We make some decisions knowing we’ll need to stay flexible, ready to change if that’s what’s needed to be faithful in our marriage, to our family, in our callings.

    We mess up. Sometimes one of us calls an audible without consulting the other. Sometimes we have to apologize for those calls, but we also trust each other to make them when the game demands it. We’ve gotten things right, and we’ve gotten things wrong. We’ve needed patience, wisdom, and discernment. We’ve needed lots of repentance and forgiveness. We’ve needed mutual sacrifice. But never, not once, in 25 years have we needed a deciding vote.

    ——–——–

    I would agree with so much of that, only adding: never once, in more than 30 years!

    Also, it’s important to note that sometimes you will come to a decision together, or go with one person’s “figs,” and later realize that wasn’t the best decision. 

    You might even, like Dad & I, disagree about whether something in the past was a good decision or not. But there’s no recrimination about it. Our relationship takes precedence. We can “agree to disagree” as we imperfectly work through our decision making.

    Action Item of the Week: Clean Out Your Freezer

    I don’t mean clean out, like defrost and wash your freezer. That can be a goal for some other time!

    What I mean is for you to take a few minutes to go through your freezer and see what you have forgotten about, and what you can maybe incorporate into your meals this week.

    Toss anything that you don’t like after all or that is expired. No need to keep things—that is the sunk cost fallacy in action. Make more room in your freezer for things you like to eat!