A Birthday From the Vault: “I Liked You Right Away!” (April 2003)

The Mom Weekly Volume 35: April 2, 2024

Notes:

I truly love these “from the vault” so much, and I’m so grateful to myself for writing back when you kids were young. Please consider this when you have a family, or even right now—being able to remember what you were thinking is such a gift!

I can sometimes read “between the lines” in something I might have really been thinking, even if I didn’t write it. For instance, in the recent “you have a very lively family,” I remember that Dad actually used an impolite word (rhymes with “dastard”) instead of “guy” in the sentence “Poor guy.” And I remember not wanting to put a swear word in the blog post all those years ago, and even in the “from the vault” version, I preserved the “poor guy” because it made me smile to remember that detail.

It’s just before the 21st birthday of “Max,” and I was looking through my old blog to see if I had a birthday post. Oddly, I don’t, but I did find a video of him “reading” Chickens to the Rescue which is absolute perfection.

But I had a doula when I was pregnant with Max, and she wrote a letter to him after his birth. She sent that letter to me several weeks after he was born. I thought I would dig it out and share it as a birthday “from the vault.” And wow, do I wish I had had a doula for all of you kids, and that I had a letter like this for each of your births.

Since much of the letter is personal to me and to my labor, I’m not going to share all those details, nor the names. But I will share some of the parts that actually made me laugh out loud—me talking so much! So very “on brand,” Hahahahaha.

One thing that’s missing from the letter is something Dad “remembers” from when Max was born, but I continue to maintain I did not say, and I believe is a “misremember.” That’s because it doesn’t seem characteristic of me or my thinking, now or then. (And no, it wasn’t “I hate you, why did you do this to me!” As supposedly some women say during labor, and I never did). 

And even though the “remembered” line was a very funny and self-deprecating statement, my doula didn’t put it in this letter (and believe me, she put in the cute lines and all the talking!). That gives me a strong case to make that my view may be right, and that it was “misremembered”. Kind of like the “memory” one of you has about another family buying you kids your first Keen shoes at Payless Shoe Source.

Remember, on your birthdays and every day—every single day! — how much I love you,

Mom

From the Vault: “I Liked You Right Away!” (April 2003)

Dear “Max,”

I write today with a glad heart at remembering your birth. My work is very fulfilling to me, particularly when I am blessed with parents such as yours to work with. I got to know your Dad a bit before your birth, and your Mom even better as we worked together in some massage sessions. I would spent some time in the sessions with my hands on her belly, saying hello to you. I liked you right away!

So I will tell you what I remember from your Birth Day. I hope someday you find this interesting and useful.

4 a.m. (day of birth) I was awakened with a phone call. Mom’s water had broken and not just a trickle. We talked and decided to talk again after she spoke with (midwife who delivered Max). Water breaking meant that we would be heading into the hospital, regardless of labor beginning.

(Hospital arrival and medical details)

7:30 a.m. It was decided that Mom would try to sleep if she could, as contractions were not that strong. I went home to get my digital camera (that I forgot!) and have breakfast with my family. (Nurse) came on as Mom’s nurse (joy!) as she had been nurse at both of your sisters’ births too. 

…

2:00 p.m. Progress! Mom very encouraged… great breathing, and of course, talking! (Wink emoji). I loved Mom’s energy and talking between contractions …a wonderful rhythm. She was so helpful in describing what would help her. That is always wonderful when I can give exactly what a Mom needs most, because she can tell me!! Good for you Mom!

….

4:30 p.m. I was checking in with Mom to see how she was feeling and she said, “I feel like I am 40 now and I can’t handle it!) “(Oh Mom! I think you are progressing!) Labor intensifies.….

….

4:50 p.m. Happy looks were being exchanged knowing that transition was ending and pushing would soon begin. I stay close to Mom, with Dad right at her side, her head cradled in his arms.

5:09 p.m. You are born! Apgars 9 and 9 (good baby!). Placenta delivered shortly after. You had the cord wrapped once around your neck and it was gently lifted while your shoulders wriggled free. (Midwife) had a medical student assisting in the delivery and this was the student’s 1st birth, a great gift that I believe touched her very much.

…

Now I must admit that I snapped a picture of your beautiful face right after you opened your eyes for the first time. How rude of me! I intended to apologize to you when I see you next!

My heartfelt thoughts for a good life,

P.S. I hear your sisters will be pleased you are a boy. They need someone to play “Steve the Crocodile Hunter” with!!

Interesting/Notable: 

End the phone based childhood now–The Atlantic Monthly

This is quite a long article, but well worth reading.

Why An Eco-Warrior Left the Movement and Became a Christian

This was such a thoughtful discussion about environmentalism, simple living, and Christianity. It’s quite long, and I’ve not finished the listen yet, but there is so much good philosophical content here!

An action item: Unsubscribe to 10 or more (email) mailing lists

I can’t be the only one who often subscribes to way too many newsletters?

Whether it is stores, Substack newsletters, or more, my default tends to be “subscribe.” It’s a good idea to pare back every so often, but here’s an easy action item for this week: unsubscribe to 10 of them.

Maybe you don’t have 10 that you can unsubscribe from, but I bet you have a few. Set your timer for 5 minutes and see what you can do!

What are you doing this weekend?

So, now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing:

*faith—when are you going to Mass?

*friends—what friends will you see or connect with?

*food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit?

*fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally).