The Mom Weekly Volume 128: January 20, 2025
You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the home page here.
Notes:
This Friday is the feast of St. Francis de Sales. He’s the patron saint of writers & journalists (raising my hand) as well as the baptism anniversary of a certain family member. I still remember that baptism so well!
Anyway, I’ve had versions of this in my writing file for some time. I hope it conveys the humor that I find in St. Francis de Sales’ writing (intentional or unintentional).
No matter what, remember how much I love you,
Mom
Saint Francis de Sales Always Cracks Me Up
While we were dating, Dad pointed out to me a copy of St. Francis de Sales Introduction to the Devout Life in a Catholic bookstore, and I bought it, or maybe he bought it for me?
Saint Francis de Sales was a late 16th and early 17th century French/Swiss bishop, writer, and spiritual director. This context from the Wikipedia page really helps see where his idea for “the devout life” came from:
In 1586, Francis de Sales attended a theological discussion about predestination that convinced him of his damnation to hell. A personal crisis of despair resulted. …. Sometime in either late December or early January 1587, he visited the old parish of Saint-Étienne-des-Grès, Paris, where he prayed the “Memorare” before a famed statue of Our Lady of Good Deliverance, a Black Madonna.
De Sales ultimately concluded that God had good in store for him because “God is love”, as the First Epistle of John attests. This faithful devotion to God not only expelled his doubts but also influenced the rest of his life and his teachings. His way of teaching Catholic spirituality is often referred to as the Way of Divine Love, or the Devout Life, taken from a book he wrote of a similar name: Introduction to the Devout Life.
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I did not know at the time that Saint Francis de Sales is the patron saint of writers and journalists (me!), or that our first-born daughter would be baptized on his feast day. I just know how influential that book has been to me over the decades.
Anyway, I read it and loved it right away. Something about his style, even with the flowery language and random odd analogies of fruits and animals, I found very spiritually fruitful. And so over the years, I’ve re-read it during many Lents.
One of the hallmarks of St. Francis’ teaching is that “devotion is compatible with every station of life.” Rather than holiness, or living close to God, being only for priests and religious, it’s really meant for every person, whether a laborer, or a king, or a mom, or a professor.
Whenever I’ve read Introduction to the Devout Life, the thing that always “convicts” me, or helps me focus on what really matters, are the ten meditations in the first part of the Introduction.
- on our creation
- On he end for which we were created
- On the benefits of God
- On sin
- On death
- On judgment
- On hell
- On heaven
- On the choice of heaven
- By way of Election and choice which the Soul makes of Devout Life
These meditations are kind of Ignatian in spirit, because there’s a lot of imagining yourself in different situations, such as near death, your judgment. It’s quite moving, despite the flowery language that is present throughout the book.
The last meditation, “Election and choice which the Soul makes of Devout Life” is the one that always makes me almost laugh out loud. In the meditation, St. Francis de Sales has the readers imagine themselves in a field, with people on one side who are in hell, and the other people who are in heaven. And among the people in heaven there is this line:
See the ranks of many married people, who live so lovingly together with mutual respect, which cannot be without great charity. Consider how these devout souls join the exterior care of their households with the interior care of their souls, the love the earthly with that of the celestial spouse.
Let’s double click on that:
Who live together with mutual respect, which cannot be (had) without great charity.
Ya think, St. Francis? I just always find that funny because of course being married demands charity. And while Dad & I love each other, living together “lovingly” like St. Francis de Sales writes, is quite the feat! Sometimes it doesn’t actually happen, so you do the best you can.
But that line is not only for married people. Just living among people with mutual respect demands enormous charity. In our world today, we have so, so many people who have nothing but contempt for certain other people, and don’t even try to hide that contempt or hatred.
When people don’t show a basic amount of respect for others, it can be easy to dehumanize them as well, but that’s not the way to go. We have to work really hard at showing respect for others, and even charity, even for people who appear to us to be odious or wrong in every way.
It reminded me of another quote by Mother Angelica. When she died back in 2016, I came across this quote:
“If it wasn’t for people, we could all be holy.”
Isn’t that the truth? It’s so easy in our minds to be always kind, always truthful, and always patient, always with the right thing to say. At least it is for me! It is so much harder in actual life, in actual interactions with people, to be patient, loving, and having the right thing to say.
(Digression: I remember years ago sometimes watching Mother Angelica have a Q&A with her audience about various topics, and honestly, she was very funny, with catchy quotes like, “If it wasn’t for people, we could all be holy.” I remember thinking watching her that she might be holier than thou, or harsh with people talking about their faults or unhappy families, but my memory is that she was quite realistic about life this century.
It turns out that she had a pretty chaotic childhood and early adulthood, and I think that made her sensitive to what others go through, and giving solid advice that was not shaming in any way. Maybe I need to rewatch some to see if my memory is correct!)
Interesting/Notable:
Godsplaining Reacts to “Wake Up, Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery” — Youtube
A good portion of us watched “Wake Up Dead Man” last week after hearing so many great things about it. It is extremely well-done and moving, despite some strong content at various times, and it’s a little too murder-y for me (I hope that’s not a spoiler).
But the Catholic content, while sometimes isn’t quite accurate (Does it bother anyone else that often non-Catholics will write lines like “take Communion” or “take my Confession” when a Catholic would not say it that way—It would be “receive Communion” or “hear my Confession.”), the Catholic content is also literally true and word for word when it needs to be. I won’t say any more if you haven’t watched it.
This “reaction” video from a Catholic Dominican priest gave me a lot more insight into some of the Scriptural references in the movie that had escaped me. This YouTube channel is by Dominicans, so of course it is going to be great! 🙂