The Mom Weekly Volume 59: September 24, 2024
You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the website here.
People Want to Help
As I have mentioned before, I keep a list of potential “headlines” for future Weeklies, and turn to them when I have my “writing time” and can devote some effort to this.
Today’s headline—People Want to Help—didn’t have anything written or any notes. But you may remember me saying this adage from time to time.
It can be a natural inclination for most people—in different situations—to avoid asking for help. We don’t want to be any trouble, or we do not want to bother people. We’d rather figure something out ourselves than request assistance.
But the research shows that far from making people resent us, people who are the “helpers” feel more positive about themselves, and feel more positive about the person being helped.
“Helping people makes people feel better,” the researcher said. Here’s a write-up in the NY Times.
It can be awkward to ask for help, or to reach out to someone, depending on the situation. But knowing that it can brighten someone’s day, why not give it a try?
The researchers found that even reaching out to a friend with a text saying “hi” can mean a lot. I encourage you to try it, once a day or more, if possible! Consider this your bonus “action item” if you’d like!
Now, this doesn’t always work. For instance, the day that I’m writing the first draft of this happened to be one of the last days to swim at our outdoor pool this season. When I arrived, there were no empty lanes; even the non-laned part of the pool had several swimmers.
So, as we are supposed to do, I asked a swimmer if I could share the lane with her. She was not happy to help, let’s just put it that way! She was downright grumpy about it, but in the end, she did share, as she only had a lap or two to go. I hope that she felt more positive about the situation by the time she finished swimming. We can only hope. 🙂
Just as I was finishing my laps (grumpy swimmer had already finished her laps and left), I could see a man about to join the person in the lane next to me. I called over, “This is my last lap!” So he would know he had a lane to himself. He was delighted. And it gave me a little boost of happiness!
So, this is your gentle reminder to ask for help (and say thank you!) for something small in the next few days. Ask someone to hold the door for you if you’re holding some books or a coffee. Ask a friend (or your Mom, hint, hint) for advice about something. Text a friend just to say hi (and make a goal for once a week or more!)
Remember how much I love you,
Mom
Interesting/Notable:
Today is actually National Punctuation Day, so plan to celebrate!
For some reason, I can remember my Mom laughing at this video when it was on TV. Maybe I misremembered? Anyway, it is pretty funny.
And who could forget the fun Schoolhouse Rock song, “Interjections!”?
An Action Item: Get Ready for Your Quarterly Net Worth Update
I hope you remember that at the end of each quarter, I suggest you update your net worth. September 30 is the end of Q3, or the third quarter of 2024.
Repeating from earlier updates:
This may take slightly longer this first time, if you have not done so. But I promise you, over time, you will be happy that you do this.
The reason I hesitated is that it could be pretty likely you have a negative net worth, largely because of student loans. But that’s will be so temporary (over the long haul!) that you should not be discouraged by it.
When people begin to track their net worth, they call it “getting back to zero” when they have a zero net worth. That may not seem promising, but it’s an impressive accomplishment for those who have paid off a significant amount of debt, whether student loan debt, credit card debt, or other types of debt.
And it can be very encouraging to see an improvement in your net worth over time.
Here is a super-simple net worth spreadsheet I put together. There’s no formatting with cool colors and such, but it works and completes the calculations for you. Let me know what you think about it!
A couple of notes:
*Unfortunately, Google Sheets does not allow password-protecting of items. I prefer to keep this information, and most of my spreadsheets, in a format I can password protect. Think Microsoft Excel, Apple’s Numbers, etc. You can even do this on paper if you want, and store it somewhere safe.
*There are two “sheets” in the spreadsheet I’ve shared—the first contains no entries, and the second is a sample with random numbers that I have included.
*Sometimes people do not add in their vehicles or mortgages. I do, because you can see how much equity you have in the house or vehicle. But informally, I don’t include them the same weight as other assets, since they are not liquid and it’s not likely one would sell them for living expenses, whether in retirement or not.
What are you doing this weekend?
So, now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing:
*faith—when are you going to Mass?
*friends—what friends will you see or connect with?
*food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit?
*fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally).