The Mom Weekly Volume 94: May 27, 2025
You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the home page here.
Notes:
In case you missed last week, this is Part 2 of “My Monkeys, My Circus” and I hope it makes sense. I don’t want you to get the impression that I equate having dogs with children, because I’m Team Baby, but it still was funny when it happened, and I hope you’ll enjoy it too.
Also today, May 27, is St. Augustine of Canterbury. Remember reading “Augustine Came to Kent” together many years ago?
And then a year or two after that, we ourselves were in Kent? I love the photo of you three sitting on the ground in three arched alcoves at Canterbury Cathedral.
My Monkeys, My Circus (Part the Second)
Recently I got a very well meaning and nicely worded text from a neighbor. I’m going to excerpt it here:
Please don’t take this message the wrong way. Your dogs really don’t bother us … I just wanted to share a solution for dog barking. Our new little dog was starting to bark at people walking by on the sidewalk so I got this bark collar and it worked amazing. Check it out.”
And there was a link to a bark collar, which I think shocks the dog so that they don’t bark at all.
For context, this was on Dad’s birthday, and I was in the middle of making the complicated entremets desserts that I was inspired to make from our watching of the Great British Bake-Off. Not only has the show gotten me into baking more complicated things, but it is such a soothing, enjoyable watch.
Here was my response:
(Neighbor), thank you so much! I am not offended at all. I appreciate the details, and I appreciate you as our neighbor. I don’t have bandwidth to look at this right now, as Joseph’s (husband) birthday is tomorrow and I’m in the midst of making a very complicated dessert! But I will look at this soon.
And that’s the end of that interaction. God bless entremets for saving me from having to craft something more.
Anyway, by the time I got to read it, I started laughing again.
My first thought? my monkeys, my circus.
You may have posited that I have zero desire to shock our dogs with bark collars. Again, this works for them and their dogs, but I cannot imagine it, and it would make at least one of our dogs so much more dramatic than he already is.
For context: we are in the process of installing fencing that helps the dogs not see the neighbors so that they don’t bark too much.
And if our dogs were barking incessantly, or we kept them out at all hours of the day and night, and they barked at everything, it would be helpful to offer me ideas. But this is truly a “my monkeys, my circus” type of situation. We use our prudential judgment to manage our lives in the way we think best.
I also feel the need to clarify that there are some things that should be brought to the attention of people. To refer back to last week, I can’t imagine a scenario in which I would actually talk to someone about their kids’ behavior at Mass. However, I might try to get to know the family, and even ask if I could help in any way, or take the offending kid out to walk around when they got busy.
As far as animals go:
1. I did think the neighbor worded the request very kindly and carefully, and he meant it in good faith. But I don’t feel the least bit of curiosity about exploring the option, as I am 100 percent sure it would send me over the edge.
Also:
2. There are contexts in which it is a good idea to share kindly about asking people to change their behavior. In fact, I did just that, in a post in our neighborhood FB group during the pandemic about people not cleaning up after their dogs. I was really proud of this, because usually people would post something like, “Disgusting! All of you people who let your dogs do your business and not pick it up are the worst humans ever! Sad we live in such a world.”
So I am going to share it here, and I hope you’ll agree with me. Coincidence or not, I see much less dog poop left behind when I am out and about.
And let’s all remember that we can carefully and respectfully try to get people to see something differently. And I guess, also accept that they might not agree!
March 2021
Hello neighbors! I thought about putting this here when it happened to me some months back, but I hesitated as I didn’t want to be a Gladys Kravitz about it (all you younger neighbors can just google it and you’ll see what I’m talking about, LOL).
But the last few months have helped draw us together as a neighborhood and get to know each other better. So just like I’d feel awkward but okay talking to a friend about this, I feel ready to be awkward here with all of you.
It’s dog poop.
Please, if you have a dog or dogs, be kind and neighborly and pick up their poop when you walk them in the neighborhood.
What prompts my note: this morning, I stepped in some dog poop on the street during my early morning walk/run. It happens to me once every few months, though I see it a lot more than that and I’m able to sidestep it. It can be really annoying, and it’s hard to get off of running shoes!
True confession: when we had our first dog—over 25 years ago—I actually did not understand that picking up poop was a thing. And I cringe now to think about all the places where we left poop in people’s yards, and on the street of the town where we lived. In my defense, I did not grow up with a dog and so did not know this basic etiquette. I just didn’t give it a thought. Some neighbors may also not be aware of this common practice, or grew up in the country where it isn’t done or isn’t common.
I know better now (and did back then, after a short time of having a dog). That’s why I always have dog bags with me to collect poop when we take our dogs on walks.
I’ve learned a couple of things. I know some of these are goofy and you’re probably thinking, duh, but bear with me:
Dog bags are very inexpensive. I used to (and still do) save grocery bags for this purpose, but we’d have to inspect them to make sure they had no holes, etc. But a couple of years ago, I ordered some from our chewy.com Autoship and I realized it costs pennies to have ready-to-go bags for walks.
I keep a poop bag tied to the dogs’ leads, so that if I forget to grab one, there is always one with whoever is walking the dog or dogs.
I appreciate all neighbors listening with understanding and considering following this practice. Have a great day.
Interesting/Notable
The Spy Trick to Joining Any Conversation (Even if You’re Anxious)
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