The Mom Weekly Volume 47: June 25, 2024

Men’s Mental Health Month

Did you know that June is Men’s Mental Health Month? I did not until a few days ago, when two of us were at Sunday Mass (actually Saturday evening) a parish we’ve never been to before, and the church had a poster for this month.

First: mental note to talk to our pastor about putting up such posters. Second: coincidentally, some of my recent reads relate to this topic. This isn’t a super well-constructed review or reflection, but some thoughts. I wanted to be sure to post this when it was still Men’s Mental Health Month, so I don’t have to wait until next year.

(The graphic for this weekly was helpfully shared by G, who came across it after we saw the poster).

My main goal in putting this out there? Reminding everyone, including, and especially this month—men—that (remember this?) taking care of yourself is a strength and a favor to all those whom you love and who love you.

And also, remember how much I love you!

Mom

Beauty in the Browns: Walking With Christ in the Darkness of Depression

This book, written several years ago by journalist and movie critic Paul Asay, is part memoir, part social and medical history of depression, is well-constructed and well-written. He especially discusses the difficulty of men experiencing depression, getting help when they do experience depression, and more.

I found out about it through two articles (not new, but I only came across them a few weeks ago) by Theresa Barber of Alethia. Read these articles here and here.

I know Tess through Catholic blogging circles, and so I suspected that the book would be good. And it is! Truly a great read.

Here are some of my takeaways:

exercise and structure are two of the non-therapy, non-medical interventions that work well to keep his depressive epsiodes at bay.

Great quote: ”But even the best of psychologists and the most effective medication won’t work unless you actively help them work—engaging the world and all its beats with an active stance, not a passive one.”

Asay shares many insights from others on depression, such as Andrew Solomon’s book The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression; and more.

I loved this one from Abraham Lincoln:

“A tendency to melancholoy is a misfortune, not a fault.”

I also love the occasional reference to J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis. This Puddleglum quote (from The Silver Chair) is near perfection:

Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things—trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one .. We’re just babies making up a game, if you’re right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That’s why I’m going to stand by the play-world. I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t any Aslan to lead it. I’m going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn’t any Narnia.

(I’m on Aslan’s side, too!).

Walking and mental health

*This article from The Art of Manliness about walking being good for not only physical health, but also mental health as well. (Brett McKay, host of the AoM podcast, has been open about his depressive episodes in his life).

*Inside Out 2

Inside Out 2 has gotten a lot of positive feedback for its realistic presentation of mental health issues, in a fun and accessible way. I haven’t seen it yet, but I plan to and I’d love to as a group!

I remember the first Inside Out being also very well-done and led to some good discussions, and I look forward to the same kinds of discussions here.

And, to circle back to the beginning, here is a Paul Asay movie review of Inside Out 2.

(Interestingly, he also reviewed the first Inside Out movie back in 2015: )

Interesting/Notable

Condoleezza Rice: Juneteenth Is Our Second Independence Day

60 Screen-Free Summer Activities

I like this list of things to consider (maybe for your summer list?) that would prompt fun ideas of things to do.

An action item: Get ready for your quarterly net worth update

The last time I asked you to update your net worth was around September 30—the end of Q3. I think I’m going to make this a recurring reminder quarterly, so that you can get into the habit of updating your net worth quarterly. It’s really neat to see over time—not just a short time, but a long time.

June 30 is the end of Q2—that is, Quarter 2, so it’s time to do so.

This may take slightly longer this first time, if you have not done so. But I promise you, over time, you will be happy that you do this.

The reason I hesitated is that it could be pretty likely you have a negative net worth, largely because of student loans. But that’s will be so temporary (over the long haul!) that you should not be discouraged by it.

When people begin to track their net worth, they call it “getting back to zero” when they have a zero net worth. That may not seem promising, but it’s a great accomplishment for those who have paid off a significant amount of debt, whether student loan debt, credit card debt, or other types of debt.

And it can be very encouraging to see an improvement in your net worth over time.

Here is a super-simple net worth spreadsheet I put together. There’s no formatting with cool colors and such, but it works. Let me know what you think about it!

A couple of notes:

*Unfortunately, Google Sheets does not allow password-protecting of items. I prefer to keep this information, and most of my spreadsheets, in a format I can password protect. Think Microsoft Excel, Apple’s Numbers, etc. You can even do this on paper if you want, and store it somewhere safe.

*There are two “sheets” in the spreadsheet I’ve shared—the first is a blank one, and the second is a sample with random numbers that I have included.

*Sometimes people do not add in their vehicles or mortgages. I do, because you can see how much equity you have in the house or vehicle. But I mentally don’t include them the same weight as other assets, since they are not liquid and it’s not likely one would sell them for living expenses, whether in retirement or not.

What are you doing this weekend? Beach Week Edition

Beach Week is fast approaching, so I’m going to make this a themed “what are you doing this weekend?”

*faith—when are you going to Mass? Does anyone want to go to daily Mass with me during the week?

*cousins—thoughts about things you’d like to do with any particular cousin? Any board games in mind? Sunrise time? Walks on the beach?

*food—make a list (even mentally) of things you want to definitely have when we are at the beach—Dickey’s Frozen Custard? Kohr Bros? Grotto Pizza? A trip (or two) to Candy Kitchen?