The Mom Weekly Volume 78: February 4, 2025
You can read this, or any other previous Mom Weeklies, by going to the home page here.
Notes
I am very glad that we could celebrate Pride & Prejudice Day last week, which also gave me a head start on this week’s TMW, since I had already written it. But another week allowed time to find another article to add to the “interesting/notable” section related to today’s theme, so it all worked out.
Remember how much I love you,
Mom
“It took bad words to qualify what had happened.”
“What’s the matter? What’s the matter?” the children asked him all at once. He flung himself on Ralph, burying his face in the other boy’s coat, and sobbed out some disjointed story which only Ralph could hear … and then, as last and final climax of the disaster, who should come looking over the shoulders of the children but Uncle Henry and Mr. Pond! And ’Lias all ragged and dirty again! Betsy sat down weakly on a pile of wood, utterly disheartened. What was the use of anything!
“What’s the matter?” asked the two men together.
Ralph turned, with an angry toss of his dark head, and told them bitterly, over the heads of the children: “He just had some decent clothes. … First ones he’s ever had! And he was plotting on going to the exercises in the Town Hall. And that darned old skunk of a stepfather has gone and taken ’em and sold ’em to get whiskey. I’d like to kill him!”
Betsy could have flung her arms around Ralph, he looked so exactly the way she felt. “Yes, he is a darned old skunk!” she said to herself, rejoicing in the bad words she did not know before. It took bad words to qualify what had happened.
—Dorothy Canfield Fisher, Understood Betsy
Understood Betsy is one of the lesser known but finest children’s novels of the 20th century. Dorothy Canfield Fisher was a feminist, an education reformer (she was one of the earliest to bring Montessori methods to the US), and, obviously, a terrific writer. (In the last year or so, I read The Home-Maker and wow: was she ahead of her time).
In the novel, Elizabeth Ann (Betsy), is sent away to her “dreaded” Putney cousins when her Aunt has to go away to recover from an unspecified illness. How she slowly becomes her own person, develops a strong constitution, and becomes a strong young woman, is the story of the novel. It has a lot of elements of Montessori education, and how Betsy learns what learning is for—to become a well-rounded adult, rather than just “passing from one grade to another.”
If you haven’t read Understood Betsy before, it is available for free on Project Gutenberg. And if you have an iPhone, you can send a copy to your iBooks app).
Rejoicing in the bad words
I often think about the (para)phrase “it takes bad words to qualify what happened” when I read or hear about something particularly awful in the news.
The “bad words” Betsy learns are “darned old skunk.” While I can think of even “worse” bad words, the phrase “darned old skunk” certainly fills in for describing the evil deeds of bad people.
Initially I planned to share this Louise Perry article in the “interesting/notable” section, and I was trying to word a “content warning” because it’s pretty heavy. And then I thought about Betsy’s “rejoicing in bad words” to describe a bad man.
What Women Need—Louise Perry on Maiden Mother Matriarch
This itself is a fascinating read from one of Perry of Maiden Mother Matriarch, one of the most incisive writers out there today (here’s her bio). (Side note:May I just say that I pre-ordered “The Case Against the Sexual Revolution” months ahead of its US release, because I happened upon the UK version doing podcast research on a completely different topic. That also is a tremendous read, and I believe my oldest child has it in her apartment, if anyone wants to borrow it!).
So read this story, especially Perry’s take on the situation, which I share. I also read the Kat Rosenfeld piece she references, and it left me somewhat dissatisfied. Reading what Perry had to say helped me to solidify a more nuanced response.
Can we use the term “darned old skunk” (or whatever choice bad words we want to use) to describe this evil man? Yes, yes, of course we can. There is a time to rejoice in bad words.
Interesting/Notable:
Apropos of today’s post, there are two recent free articles by Claire Swinarsk of Letters from a Catholic Feminist. If you could only read one, read the first. I so appreciate getting to support gifted and hardworking writers.
If You Want to Stop Trafficking ….
The Persistence of Bro-Choice Feminism
An Action Item: Check Your Passport Renewal Date
I was about to sign up for the UK “electronic travel authorization” (it became a requirement this month). And then I saw that my passport expires in less than a year. Since I plan for some foreign travel this year, I decided to renew my passport right now.
The reason for this is that some countries, I think the UK among them, and many European countries, will not allow you to stay there if your passport expires in less than six months. And I am getting close to that!
Fortunately, I am eligible to renew online, but the photo requirements are quite the challenge. I will succeed in getting a correct photo (no glasses! Light background! Etc) and submitting it soon, but I encourage you to check your own passport renewal and take care of it this week. You know that you will be glad that you did!