Category: Weekly Newsletter

The Mom Weekly Volume 16: November 14, 2023

As all of you know, this past weekend I attended a baby shower for one of the cousins. It was a lot of fun, a lot of activity, and also kind of tiring! But I am very glad I went, for the time with family, to celebrate the parents and extended family, and to enjoy a weekend away.

The baby shower was also a gender reveal, and guests were encouraged to wear pink or blue depending on their guess for baby’s gender. It turned out I was only of the only people to wear pink; I really liked my t-shirt and cardigan! Since I had on blue jeans, I suppose I could have said I was hedging my bets, but I truly thought the baby was a girl—just a hunch of course. I have no inside knowledge or special way to guess.

And it turns out I was wrong; the baby is a boy! That was also very exciting to learn. I said to several people, I’m not sad I’m wrong, because I am Team Baby.

I hope you all know that I am Team Baby, 100 percent and always. I was Team Baby when each of you were born; I was Team Baby whenever I hear about someone having a baby. I love getting to add moms and their babies to my prayer intentions. 

“Team Baby” is eloquently stated in the Catechism of the Catholic Church (paragraph 2378)

“A child is not something owed to one, but is a gift… A child may not be considered a piece of property, an idea to which an alleged “right to a child” would lead. In this area, only the child possesses genuine rights: … “the right to be respected as a person from the moment of his conception.”

Remember how much I love you,

Mom

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Interesting/Noteworthyt

How to Buy a Million Dollar Business with $0​

Do not let the title of this deter you from watching. Yes, it is all about how this Harvard MBA buys eggcartons.com. But it’s really an extremely well-done interview with Sarah Moore, who overcame a challenging upbringing to become the owner of a profitable business.

I strongly urge you to listen to (or watch) the entire episode, because it’s so fascinating from a business, financial, and psychological perspective, but it’s more important how she got there. She begins to tell her life story at about the 46:00 mark, if you don’t want to listen to the whole thing. She also talks about the value of hard work and the vital importance of people believing in you.

​WSJ: If You’re Going to Fall, This is the Right Way​

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​Interoception: The Hidden Sense That Shapes Wellbeing​

​Men Carry the Weight (of this Conversation)—Leah Libresco Sargent from Other Feminisms​

Related: I reviewed her first book back in 2015. She’s very thoughtful! 

​WSJ: How Chipotle’s Founder Is Moving Beyond Burritos​

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An action item: Consider freezing your credit

​Did you know that freezing your credit with the three credit bureaus used to cost money? But it no longer does, so it’s worth doing.

Here’s a good primer on how to freeze your credit, and why it’s a good idea to do so. 

The downside? You may forget, as I did once, that you have frozen your credit, and then run into trouble when you want to get a car loan or mortgage. So make a mental note that you have frozen your credit, and keep the login for the credit bureaus handy.

Here’s the story: Several years back, we were buying an auto with a less than one percent dealership loan. While we were at the dealership to pick up the vehicle, my credit was frozen so they couldn’t approve the loan at first. And my assurances that my credit score is always well above 800, and every so often hits a perfect 850, fell on deaf ears. (Sad emoji face).

I’m not sure why Dad’s was unfrozen, but that was fortunate since they ended up being able to approve it using only Dad’s (also) excellent credit. 

[I had frozen everyone’s credit back after I was a victim of identity theft (it was fairly small potatoes, and I caught it quickly, but it took months and hours to fix, and it made me vigilant about this.) ]

Anyway, I promise you, it’s much easier to freeze your credit than to fix a problem with your credit report. If I were you, I would do it.

What are you doing this weekend?

You know the drill–now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? Here are the four Fs to get you started:

• faith–when are you going to Mass?
• friends–what friends will you see or connect with?
• food–any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you might visit?
• fun–anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend?

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Now’s the time to think these through, and put them on the calendar.

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The Mom Weekly, Volume 15: November 7, 2023

​A Week Late and a Dollar Short

… to paraphrase the common saying. 

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I actually didn’t realize that I had missed posting The Mom Weekly until early (last) Tuesday morning when I was at Mass and thought, “Oh man, it’s after 6:15 a.m.” 

The car trouble woes that our family experienced on Monday just knocked it out for me, and getting the car fixed 90 miles away led to some long driving days. Anyway, that car is fixed now. Then I got a flat tire fixed on my car. Last week was the week of forced car maintenance, apparently.

I had intended to title last week’s newsletter “Happy Halloween” ironically because it is my least favorite holiday. But I do love the mini Halloween candy, and when I saw them on 50 percent off on November 1, I stocked up.

A few changes on the horizon

I “might” change the format of The Mom Weekly. Sometimes I want to talk more about a book, podcast, or link that I share, and this would allow me to do so. Then I can just have a few quick links for other things, instead of the current explanation for each item. I’ll start with that next week, I think.

I am definitely going to create a separate newsletter just for financial information and ideas. It would not be weekly, but occasional, and have both essays (Jane Austen on personal finance! Why you should expect to be scammed) and to-dos.

I will send out a version of that newsletter—yet to be named — to The Mom Weekly list, and you can decide if you want that one as well.

That’s all for this week!

Remember how much I love you,

Mom

Interesting watch: documentary “Below the Belt”

​“Below the Belt: The Last Health Taboo” is a PBS documentary about endometriosis and how misunderstood it is, how little it is treated, and how that should change. One of my biggest takeaways was that people–especially women– need to be advocates for their own health, and to persist even when not getting answers.

The documentary reminds me of a surgeon I follow on IG who does surgery for endometriosis and others surgeries for reproductive medicine. She’s pretty impressive and a good source of information.

(A kind-of digression: “Being an advocate for your health care” reminds me of this article I shared with Dad about why you should never use a metal grill brush. It’s from the “Medical Mysteries” section of The Washington Post (gift article link).

Interesting read: Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come by Jessica Pan.

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I found about this book from Christy Isinger, who I’ve known for years. She reads a ton, and we like some (but not all) of the same things. 

After reading about Jessica Pan on this post, I immediately requested Sorry I’m Late from the library. It is near perfect reading, especially for introverts. 

If you aren’t planning to read the book(but you should!) this article from Jess Pan’s Substack is a taste.

An Action Item: Check your employer’s retirement options

​This shouldn’t take more than few minutes, but take some time to log into your employee account for your employer’s retirement plan, and find out how much you are putting away for retirement.

If you do not have the login for the information, that will be your action item.That may take a little longer, but it is a good idea to have that login and make sure it has 2FA (two-factor authentication) complete that this week.

What are you doing this weekend?

The Mom Weekly schedules to post on Tuesdays. One of the reasons for this is to encourage you (and me, too!) to think about weekend plans. All too often, I have let that go until Friday, and then it’s hard to get people together, or make plans for coffee, or figure out when you go to Mass (other than the default, which is what we typically do).

So, now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing:

*faith—when are you going to Mass?

*friends—what friends will you see or connect with?

*food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit?

*fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally).

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The Mom Weekly Volume 14: October 24

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Birthdays are great!​
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This year is a relatively big birthday for me, and I want to say again how much I love birthdays. I really can’t think of a time that I didn’t like my birthday. But it’s probably only been since I turned 40 that I have been very intentional about how I want my birthday to look. 

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Before that, I think I was always hoping that people would read my mind and do what I wanted because they would just know I wanted to have a chocolate cake (maybe one made by me, as I’m so picky), go on a family hike, have a favorite meal for my birthday, go to Mass on Saturday night, etc., etc. 

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The year I turned 40, I really orchestrated a fantastic birthday—not just the day but a whole week of events. In ensuing years I think that I have slacked off a little on the planning front, so I’m going to try right now to schedule some time with friends before I write any more here. (And I did, but not as much as I would have liked).

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I also am immensely grateful for the gift of life. I’m so happy that my parents had me, and that I grew up in the lively family that I did with my siblings. I’m so ridiculously grateful for our own family, Mom, Dad, and you absolutely precious children. I’m grateful for how much more “me” I feel the older that I get. I think this is where I insert the “hashtag blessed.” 😉 So I think I will stop now.

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Remember how much I love you,

Mom

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Interesting watch/listen:​
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​You are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah–Netflix

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This coming-of-age story definitely had some “impolite” and cringe-worthy moments (as is apparently a must for any Adam Sandler project through all time), but it is actually quite sweet and family and culture affirming. I loved it! I think you would, too.

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Interesting read: The Burden and the Gift​
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​Eve Tushnet interviews Erika Bachiochi about her book, The Rights of Women: Reclaiming a Lost Vision. This is such a thoughtful conversation, and makes me want to read the book. ​

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You may remember (the women in our family) that we first heard Erika speak at the FemCatholic conference in 2019, I think, and what I loved about hearing her speak, was how I felt smarter after hearing her. This interview focuses a lot on individual virtue development as a way to live fully.

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There are so many good quotes, but here is just one:

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True persuasion comes by attracting another to our way of living in, and of seeing the world, and so first, we must share with them a good common to us both. It may well be — indeed, this is often the case, in my experience — that the good common to both is something of what we’ve just mentioned: that we, human beings, by our very nature, seek to do the good (even if our full accounts of the good differ, for now) but are always and everywhere rent by human frailty. Living as fallible human beings who seek the good together is perhaps the first step to true persuasion. We are very, very far from that today. Seeking and offering forgiveness and reparation (which presumes, of course, some shared good we have failed to attain) is just part of the warp and woof of life, but something our politics — both left and right — has entirely forgotten.

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Related: this quote reminds me of the themes of a book I’m currently reading—Love Your Enemies by Arthur C. Brooks).
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Also related: I reviewed Eve Tushnet’s first book, Gay and Catholic (you can read that review–almost 10 years ago!–here). I also read her excellent follow-up to that, Tenderness, and I can’t remember why I didn’t review it. It’s a great read.

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An action item: go to confession

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Are you getting some sunshine every day? I really hope so. I’ve been trying to make an effort to do so, especially early in the day. 
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Because it’s my birthday, most of you will remember what I always ask: go to confession.

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My friend Susan used to joke with me about it, because admittedly it is a little odd tradition. She would say, “Hey, great, we’re going to confession for your birthday!” But I really love confession, especially after confession! (Kind of like a good workout).

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If you can’t get to confession, try to find a time in the next few weeks to do so. What you can do today—since all of you live within walking distance of a Catholic Church — is go make a visit to Jesus and say hi! He loves you way more than I do.
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Next week we are getting back to money action items. I am increasingly convinced setting up your financial life properly in your early years (and even later years!!!) is so vital, I’m going to be hitting it a lot in the coming weeks and months.

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What are you doing this weekend?

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You know the drill here. Now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? Are you going to go to confession & Mass for my birthday sometime this weekend? 

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Also, I really want you to have something fun and chocolate or other sweet treat for my birthday. You all inherited Grandpa Joe’s sweet tooth that I have, and birthdays are a great time to enjoy that trait!!!

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Also, try to plan something with a friend or friends this weekend. You know you will be glad if you do, even though organizing plans can be a pain, but it’s also great.

The Mom Weekly Volume 13: October 17, 2023

photo from: George Washington’s Mount Vernon

Something kind of hilarious but also kind of sweet happened when we were at the wedding in Baltimore last weekend. 

Friday night, there was an evening gathering for out of town guests at a bar, and Dad & I decided to walk along the water and get dinner somewhere near the venue. It turned out the best place for a quick meal was the bar. 

We thought about eating inside, but it was way too loud, and so we grabbed a table outside and ordered sandwiches at a window overlooking the bar section to the outside. We could see into the bar, and people could see out to us at the tables. 

Dad & I chatted while we were eating in the hour or so before the gathering started. It was a nice meal and conversation. At one point, we were joking about making a list of things that we would have as “dos” or “don’ts” when you kids get married. 

(The next morning, on a walk with my brother and sister-in-law, I was mentioning some of the items. They were super sweet about it, having been through recent weddings of two of their kids, and didn’t tell me what fool’s errands my “ideas” were. I eventually had an “aha” moment and said, “I must sound like to you that young childless person who says, ‘When I have toddlers, here’s how I’m going to parent them so that they never …’ We all laughed so that they could laugh with me, not at me. But I digress).

After we ate, we headed inside for the reception. We thought it was going to be in a private room, but it turns out it was in the bar itself. While it was too loud (adding “relatively quiet rooms for gatherings” to wedding list, just for kicks), it was still a great gathering and such a fun way to see the couple, lots of family, and meet a bunch of family friends. 

At one point, I walked up to the bar to get a Diet Coke. While I was waiting, a woman (much younger than me but older than you kids) sitting at a barstool next to me stopped me. 

She said, “I hope you don’t think this is creepy, but my friend and I were just watching you and your husband eating dinner out of the window, and we just thought you were so cute and loving to each other. You were like George and Martha Washington!”

That was probably the most interesting “compliment” Dad & I have ever received. I think she must have been thinking about our gray/white hair; I hope not our clothes, which I maintain were pretty solidly in the 21st century. 

She and her friend (another woman, a little younger than her) elaborated on it, and said how they were speculating about what we were talking about. “I said that you were probably talking about all the books that you are reading and what you think about them.” They were pretty accurate about the things we typically talk about! 

I did thank them, told them they made my evening, and how sweet it was for the two of them to say something. I also said, “Well, I’m glad we weren’t arguing about something! But arguing is okay, too!” 

I’m glad that the women discovered us having a friendly conversation, but I also want to normalize that it’s okay to argue, even in public. (Respectfully, of course). 

While Dad & I do get along most (some? haha) of the time, we can have a heated discussion sometimes. I would “argue” (pun intended) that even when we do, we could do so in public, because we still treat each other respectfully, just like George & Martha Washington. 

Remember how much I love you, 

Mom (aka Martha) 

Interesting watch/listen:

I have been doing a lot of reading, listening, and watching to news on Israel. I still have a lot of learning to do, to put it mildly. 

This interview with former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is incisive and informative. She was national security advisor on 9/11, so she offered some insider perspective on security efforts after that terrorism attack and how it might inform response to this crisis. Also, she did explain more of the concept of Israel, and the idea of a two-state solution, but I still have so much learning to do. 

It’s a read, not a listen, but this Thomas Friedman op-ed is also helpful. Best quote: 

“Welcome to the Middle East. This is not like a border dispute between Norway and Sweden or a heated debate in Harvard Yard. Lord, how I wish that it were, but it’s not.”

Interesting read:

Now that I am recovered from COVID and interested in food again, I had a hankering for hot fudge sauce. I tried this classic one from the New York Times. 

Review: It’s not that great. I need to find a better easy recipe for a hot fudge sauce. Any suggestions? 

An action item:

Here’s an easy action item, and one I want you to consider incorporating into your life as a regular thing, like brushing your teeth: 

Get some sunshine every day, ideally in the morning!

Benefits: 

*improved mood and attention 

*excellent way to get Vitamin D 

*improve sleep 

*improves your immune system. 

I remember Grandpa Joe actually talking to me about this years ago, and explaining how even 10 minutes outside with your hands and forearms exposed, could be enough to give you the Vitamin D benefits. And it has so many other benefits. 

If you’re interested in finding out more, this article from the National Institute of Medicine outlining the history of sunshine “therapies” and why sunshine is so good for humans. 

This isn’t the first time you’re hearing it from me, but consider at least doing this on half or more of the days in the coming week. And let me know how it goes… 

What are you doing this weekend?

Now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing: 

*faith—when are you going to Mass? 

*friends—what friends will you see or connect with? 

*food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit? 

*fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally).