The Mom Weekly Volume 44: June 4, 2024
ADHD is Awesome
That’s the title of a new book by Penn and Kim Holderness, the couple who make funny parody videos and other online content https://theholdernessfamily.com/. We enjoyed watching them win The Amazing Race a few years ago. The couple has been open for years about Penn’s ADHD, and how they manage it, and this book is longer treatment of this. It was a good quick read. I think the last third of the book is the most effective, because they talk about actual strategies for managing ADHD in relationships.
One sidebar feature of the book is “A Note From Kim” which is about how people who love those with ADHD can be good partners, parents, and friends. I found this quote especially apt:
It’s taken many years of marriage for me to really understand how Penn’s brain works. I had to learn to not take it personally when he’s on the executive functioning struggle bus. I also have to remind myself that I have my own issues, and he provides me endless grace. Penn never uses his diagnosis as an excuse for bad behavior. He also tries to apologize any time that behavior affects me directly. I think that’s key for a supportive partnership.
I also loved that Penn is a heavy checklist user, since I am a big checklist fan. As he writes, “As David Allen, author of Getting Things Done, says, “Your mind is for having ideas, not holding them.”
Putting what you have to do down in a place you can trust to find again (My main digital checklist tools? ToDoist and Google Keep, along with analog lists), is key.
Penn manages to be realistic without being fatalistic about people with ADHD. On the one hand people who have it can struggle with organization and executive function.
But he doesn’t make it an all-purpose excuse: “Oops, whatever I did, doesn’t matter because ADHD!” Penn makes the case—because it’s true! — that those with ADHD can improve and thrive, with the right tools: strategies, tools (like lists!) medicine (but not for everyone); and therapy.
Isn’t that true of all of us? We can improve in many areas, by looking for the right tools and the right strategies and the right help.
Remember how much I love you,
Mom
Interesting/Notable:
Butterfly In the Sky: The Story of Reading Rainbow
When I’m saving this, I have only watched the first few minutes, but this looks lovely. I assume it will hold up.
Obituary of Michael Sugrue
Dad & J (and the rest of us) have been having some interesting discussion about this professor:
Rhubarb Rap
I thought this was super cute. And I love rhubarb!
An action item: Make a List
I know, I know! Some of us don’t like lists. But honestly, a short list on Apple Reminders or Google Keep could be a good way to capture even one category of something you’d like to accomplish.
For instance, you could make a list of phone calls you need to make during the summer—perhaps making needed appointments like for the eye doctor, the dentist, or annual checkups.
Or you could set a timer for 5 minutes, and write down in a list (analog or digital) of anything you can think of you might want to do in the next week. Getting those things out of your head and into a reliable list (one you will be able to find and refer to) can really free up your mind for better things!
What are you doing this weekend?
So, now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing:
*faith—when are you going to Mass?
*friends—what friends will you see or connect with?
*food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit?
*fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally).