The Mom Weekly Volume 14: October 24
Birthdays are great!
This year is a relatively big birthday for me, and I want to say again how much I love birthdays. I really can’t think of a time that I didn’t like my birthday. But it’s probably only been since I turned 40 that I have been very intentional about how I want my birthday to look.
Before that, I think I was always hoping that people would read my mind and do what I wanted because they would just know I wanted to have a chocolate cake (maybe one made by me, as I’m so picky), go on a family hike, have a favorite meal for my birthday, go to Mass on Saturday night, etc., etc.
The year I turned 40, I really orchestrated a fantastic birthday—not just the day but a whole week of events. In ensuing years I think that I have slacked off a little on the planning front, so I’m going to try right now to schedule some time with friends before I write any more here. (And I did, but not as much as I would have liked).
I also am immensely grateful for the gift of life. I’m so happy that my parents had me, and that I grew up in the lively family that I did with my siblings. I’m so ridiculously grateful for our own family, Mom, Dad, and you absolutely precious children. I’m grateful for how much more “me” I feel the older that I get. I think this is where I insert the “hashtag blessed.” 😉 So I think I will stop now.
Remember how much I love you,
Mom
Interesting watch/listen:
You are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah–Netflix
This coming-of-age story definitely had some “impolite” and cringe-worthy moments (as is apparently a must for any Adam Sandler project through all time), but it is actually quite sweet and family and culture affirming. I loved it! I think you would, too.
Interesting read: The Burden and the Gift
Eve Tushnet interviews Erika Bachiochi about her book, The Rights of Women: Reclaiming a Lost Vision. This is such a thoughtful conversation, and makes me want to read the book.
You may remember (the women in our family) that we first heard Erika speak at the FemCatholic conference in 2019, I think, and what I loved about hearing her speak, was how I felt smarter after hearing her. This interview focuses a lot on individual virtue development as a way to live fully.
There are so many good quotes, but here is just one:
True persuasion comes by attracting another to our way of living in, and of seeing the world, and so first, we must share with them a good common to us both. It may well be — indeed, this is often the case, in my experience — that the good common to both is something of what we’ve just mentioned: that we, human beings, by our very nature, seek to do the good (even if our full accounts of the good differ, for now) but are always and everywhere rent by human frailty. Living as fallible human beings who seek the good together is perhaps the first step to true persuasion. We are very, very far from that today. Seeking and offering forgiveness and reparation (which presumes, of course, some shared good we have failed to attain) is just part of the warp and woof of life, but something our politics — both left and right — has entirely forgotten.
Related: this quote reminds me of the themes of a book I’m currently reading—Love Your Enemies by Arthur C. Brooks).
Also related: I reviewed Eve Tushnet’s first book, Gay and Catholic (you can read that review–almost 10 years ago!–here). I also read her excellent follow-up to that, Tenderness, and I can’t remember why I didn’t review it. It’s a great read.
An action item: go to confession
Are you getting some sunshine every day? I really hope so. I’ve been trying to make an effort to do so, especially early in the day.
Because it’s my birthday, most of you will remember what I always ask: go to confession.
My friend Susan used to joke with me about it, because admittedly it is a little odd tradition. She would say, “Hey, great, we’re going to confession for your birthday!” But I really love confession, especially after confession! (Kind of like a good workout).
If you can’t get to confession, try to find a time in the next few weeks to do so. What you can do today—since all of you live within walking distance of a Catholic Church — is go make a visit to Jesus and say hi! He loves you way more than I do.
Next week we are getting back to money action items. I am increasingly convinced setting up your financial life properly in your early years (and even later years!!!) is so vital, I’m going to be hitting it a lot in the coming weeks and months.
What are you doing this weekend?
You know the drill here. Now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? Are you going to go to confession & Mass for my birthday sometime this weekend?
Also, I really want you to have something fun and chocolate or other sweet treat for my birthday. You all inherited Grandpa Joe’s sweet tooth that I have, and birthdays are a great time to enjoy that trait!!!
Also, try to plan something with a friend or friends this weekend. You know you will be glad if you do, even though organizing plans can be a pain, but it’s also great.