(Mom’s Occasional Money Advice)
The Mom Weekly Volume 27: January 30, 2024
Notes:
Several months ago, I shared that I might write a separate, occasional newsletter only for financial issues and money advice. But I realize it makes more sense to incorporate those here.
Some of these will be super-practical. Some, such as this week’s, will be more “philosophical,” about general concepts related to money.
Eventually, my goal will be to compile these into a long document or short (or long!) book. I’m not really sure how these will come together, but the writing will help get the thoughts out there, and all of it can be organized later. Your feedback is welcome and helpful. As always, you can reply to any email to give me your thoughts.
Let’s go!
Expect to be Scammed
A number of things led to the title of today’s newsletter. As most of you know, It is different than my typical money advice, which tends towards an optimistic view of money.
So why the downer of “Expect to be Scammed”?
First: In recent months, I have learned of at least three older people (not family members, but people I know personally) who have been scammed out of hundreds of thousands of dollars in hard-earned money and retirement savings.
It has shocked and saddened me so much, as well as reaffirmed my belief that there is a bad place in purgatory (or worse!) for people who take advantage of others, especially those who may be vulnerable due to age or ignorance.
Second: this podcast episode from Rule Breaker Investing. Robert Brokamp talked to host David Gardner about people being scammed in various evil ways. One of Brokamp’s top takeaways: look out for the older and more vulnerable people in your life, especially when it comes to money.
As they age, people lose acumen when it comes to financial things, in the same way that they inevitably lose strength.
Don’t worry, kids—I am very sharp and intend to stay that way for many decades. I’m not planning or expecting decline anytime soon. But I also think that involving people around me in money decisions we are making is a good general practice going forward.
That way, in 30 years or so, when I start mentioning how I’m transferring money every month to pay for the taxes on my Icelandic Sweepstakes winnings, you’ll know it’s time to gently take over…..
Getting the conversation started
I want there to be an ease among people—families and friends—in talking about money.
That includes how we are managing and spending our money. I think the more information we all have about each other, the harder it would be for someone to scam any one of us.
I would go as far as to say that this is a keystone in one’s financial plan. If I didn’t have immediate family that I trusted to share this information with, I would still try to find several people to keep posted on things. I would seek out several close friends or distant family members—definitely more than one person—that I could share the basics of my information with. It could be a “board of directors” for each other; a group of people that looked out for each other, and helped to talk through some of our issues.
Discussing all of this reminds me of a 2010 story from our local paper. It’s about a person from our old parish who almost fell for the then novel “grandparent scam.”
The family figures the scammers saw Krumholz as a perfect victim perhaps based solely on information gleaned from his wife, Betty’s, obituary published after her death last November. He was likely to be emotionally fragile after losing his wife of 52 years. He potentially was in possession of a life insurance settlement and would then have money available to help a grandchild in distress. His children were grown and lived away from him. He had just one grandson.
A perfect victim, and they almost had him.
“If it helps one person not to have to go through this, then I’ve done the right thing telling this story,” said Krumholz, who is, in fact, emotionally fragile and tears up quickly when talking about Betty Krumholz and the women at Wal-Mart who helped out a stranger. “Those girls at Wal-Mart were amazing, very kind and caring. If it wouldn’t have been for them, I would have sent the money.”
Michele Ewalt said her father’s story should be ample warning to others.
“I would have thought there was no way anybody would get my dad to do that. He’s pretty savvy and pretty bull-headed,” Ewalt said. “But these scammers are talented and sophisticated. If it could happen to my dad, it could happen to anybody.”
———
These days, everyone knows all about the grandparent scam, but there’s a new version of it created every week. And people can be vulnerable to those scams for any reason. Note in this article that many people along the way helped to convince him it was a scam. The expression “it takes a village” comes to mind. (Fun fact: scammers called him with the exact same scam several months later.)
With so much of our financial lives online (more than in 2010), scams can be that much easier to succeed, and much easier to keep under the radar of concerned friends or family members. That means, as was the case of two of the people I’ve learned of recently— scams can be ongoing. And that way, even more money can be lost to criminals. It’s heartbreaking.
All too often, people have shame about being a victim—and so they don’t want to share their story. I remember thinking back in 2010 how great it was that Mr. Krumholz did come forward. I didn’t think less of him for coming forward—I thought more of him for telling the truth and alerting others. And I told him so at church!
Instead of shame? caution, and trusted contacts
So, what’s the moral of this story? And the title, “Expect to Be Scammed”? Should we be constantly vigilant and expecting to be cheated at every moment? Looking over our shoulder, living in fear, and constantly worried about becoming a victim?
No. But we can be extra cautious when it comes to our financial lives. We can also begin to be relatively transparent about our finances with several trusted people in our lives.
“Expect to be scammed” means being realistic about the existence of bad actors in the world, who come up with sophisticated and devious ways to prey upon people. “Expect to be scammed” means we should practice excellent online “hygiene” when it comes to our financial, and indeed, our online lives in general.
Next time we discuss money, I’ll cover some ways to keep “healthy” and “hygienic” in our financial lives, especially online. I’ve got a good list going, but send me any tips you have by replying to this email.
Interesting/Notable:
It took only 11 people to build this Lego-like apartment complex in Florida.
Now I want a house made of this. Imagine the easier upkeep and superior insulation!
An Action Item: Who’s on your Money Board of Directors?
Apart from your money mom (me!!!), of course.
But really, give it a little thought this week. Who would be someone good to start talking over some money issues with, even in a very basic way? Siblings are a good start, but there’s probably another person or two you might want to include on that list.
Here’s a good start of how to talk about it: I’m trying to get better and more organized with money, and I think the accountability of having people I talk to about it would help me out.
Bonus Action Item: Activate Security Feature on iPhones
This is a bonus one because the newest iPhone update includes stolen device protection. Read about it here.
What are you doing this weekend?
So, now that it’s Tuesday, what are you planning for the weekend? I’m going to suggest trying to cover four “F”s to get ideas flowing:
*faith—when are you going to Mass?
*friends—what friends will you see or connect with?
*food—any fun recipes you plan to try, or restaurants you plan to visit?
*fun—anything interesting you are going to play, watch, or do this weekend? Now’s the time to think it through, and put it on the calendar (even informally).